Letter to a friend

To a friend:

With a twist of fate your entire life was turned upside down; friends turn to enemies, enemies turn into friends and paths that have never crossed suddenly find themselves on the same road. Only God knew where the result of thiis crazy path would end.

We started as friends in a time in my life when I was lost and not sure where my path was going. You were an unexpected and unwelcome surprise at first; my life had been down this road once and I had no intent to go back. Yet, God insisted that I travel down the road again and in the end He got his way.

After a while, we became close friends, even brothers. It seemed that all my anxities were misplaced and things would be different this time. And yet, jealousy and anger reared its ugly head and began to create storms. It's amazing during turbulent times, it is really true that you realize who your true friends are. I know that I was causing chaos in your life and you were doing the same to mine; yet, we stayed by each other and continued to be friends.

The storms grew worse in my life, but seemed to help calm yours. When my life calmed down, your life got worse. It was a back and forth struggle. We never shared all the storms we faced because of each other. And sometimes both of us would be so stressed we would take it out on each other. And yet we continued to be friends. Life was a delicate balancing act to keep everything together for as long as possible.

But when my life had one major change and put me onto a path of professional satisfaction, that is when your home life began to come undone. I don't know if it was jealousy with your mother, but it was obvious things were starting to fall apart. Seeing what the result would be and trying to stop it is incredibly trying. Anyone who has the "gift" of seeing the future, even a glimpse, carries a burden that can really weigh you down.

And when it all came to a crashing end, and your life was completely uplifed and we were stuck together. Barely enough money & food to get by, but we managed to get by. I immediately saw the change and watched as you began to grow into your own life. I must admit there is nothing more satisfying than watching someone you have helped for a long time begin to grow into a person; I can see why people want to have children.
However, while you were growing up, I had the luck to deal with the craziness that you have had in your entire life. To this day, I'm still amazed at the amount of endurance and mental strength you have to endure that for so long.

And as much as I enjoyed having you around, I knew the arrangement wasn't going to last long. I tried giving you subtle hints to point you into the right direction, but I could tell you weren't ready. I remembered the past and what happened before, so it was time for Plan Z. The plan had been discussed with another close friend months before, but I never thought it would be put into action. The plan, in a nutshell, was to control the situation and be sure you were put into a safe and happy home. Of course, to do that would mean causing a huge twist of fate.

And what a twist it was. I wish I could say I knew for sure that everything would fall into place. It was a Friday night when the bomb was dropped. I think my biggest regret of the entire thing was how much of a bad mood I was in on Saturday; trying to be sure everything went according to plan was stressful and I unfairly took it out on you. My other regret was that I never got a chance to say goodbye.

And then someone who I considered an enemy approached with the white flag and all differences and past differences were set aside. Although no one really enjoyed each other, we all knew that you were the one caught in the middle of this war and something had to be done. And within an hour, you were taken away and placed in a safe home.

And so here we are. For now, both of us have told each other not to worry about the other and both are now going seperate ways. My life was at a standstill as enemies closed in on me and I was more than ready to give up my life. My biggest fear was the misery you were being caused. And just as I was about to put an end to the entire thing, you sent one email letting me know you are fine, happy & safe That gave me new light and strength. There is some sadness knowing my job is finished, but I find joy in the fact on how well I did my job. That split second saved my life.

I truly hoped we would be able to stay in contact and remain brothers & close friends.Even though the tough times and fights we had, there aren't many people I am as close as than to you and it really hurt when all emails and IMs stopped coming from you. Part of me is upset and angry, the other part is proud that you can now stand on your own two feet and take on the world and no longer need me around. I knew when I agreed to go down this path that we'd have to say goodbye and I've never been good at saying goodbye to anyone.

So now as you start a new path, I've got a few loose ends to clean up in order to get my life onto a new path too. I knew this plan would wreck another life, but this life has been the cause of 5 years of misery and has now turned all visciousness towards me. I've done a lot of praying and if this is the end of my life, I know that I've done what has been asked of me and am not afraid to move on. In fact, I relish the day that I can leave this life behind. And now knowing your safe, I have nothing to lose, which gives me the advantage for this last big fight. For me, having all the great memories from the last 5 years and putting the light back into my life is a debt that I plan to pay back someday and I can't think of a better way than to put an end to this madness once and for all!

If you find this letter and can't find me, don't worry about me. Always remember I was put into your life to be sure that you had a life; you make sure to take care of your friends and hold on to what (or who) you think is precious. You are a talented young man and I know you will have a good life.