Don't Give Up

Dark. Cold. Night.
I walk at the almost empty street, and I'm a little cold. I know that it's getting late, but we had that much fun...
The street lights don't work for some reason, but it really doesn't matter. I've walked this street many, many times before. I could even walk it with an eye band, without be able to see anything. I can hear the near by motorway, with its never ending traffic, and in the far away distance I can hear a low buzzing. From somewhere I can smell the sense of an early spring flower.
Then I reach the train station, pay, and jump onto my train. I was lucky; the train arrived exactly at the same time as me. I truly hate to wait on cold, dark train stations.
I put my feet at the seat opposite me and lean to the window. The train is quite full, compared to the empty streets. I turn my head, and stare out at the night instead. Stare at the emptiness which is full of life.
The train starts to roll, and a rhythmic, sleepy sound is coming from the wheels. I yawn. Big.
The low buzzing from the far distance is still to hear, but closer. It sounds cosy, like bumble-bees at a meadow in the summer. But the bumble-bees have to be rather big...
My thoughts fly up to the night sky, and I'm on that summer meadow. It's nice and warm, and we are walking there together. You and Me. Ohh, I long for summer...
Then suddenly, I awaken from my dreams. Realise what is about to happen, but in the same second it's to late. The night outside the window abruptly lights up by a massive glow. A glow, which directly after is followed by an enormous roar.
Humans around me start to point and scream. I look around, confused. Is this really happening? Is this really true?
Then more explosions are heard. Everywhere, all around us. People in the wagon start to panic. Screaming, trying to get out, drag the emergency brake. All of a sudden, the train stops. I'm all stiff, don't know what to do. My gaze is looking for an answer, without founding any.
At last, somewhere among all the people, I succeed to find a man. He's all calm, still in his seat. I look into his eyes, without seeing anything. No fear, no despair. No happiness, no satisfaction. I keep on stare into those eyes, and calmness is staring to spread out in my body. I don't know why or how, but it does.
He turns his head to me, and look into my eyes. It feels like he can see right through me, right into my inside. We just sit there looking at each other, and outside the bombs keep on falling. His eyes tell me that I couldn't have done anything anyway; the guilt is never at just one person. But there has to be something I could have done? I ask. Something, so that I wouldn't have had to watch the house I visited a couple of minutes ago disappear in a big cloud of fire. But no, his eyes tell me. Not all by myself, and not when I didn't knew anything. He tells me not to cry, but my eyes aren't listening. I am not listening. Tear after tear starts to roll down my cheeks, and I can't help it. I know that nothing will change just because my face gets moisten and wet, but I just can't help it.
Then the man suddenly starts to smile. A warm, infecting smile with no trace of sorrow. It's so warm that it burns my inside. So far away from sorrow that I can't be sad. And so infecting that also I am starting to smile. Smile wide and large, like I've never smiled before.
It feels weird. In the saddest moment of my entire life, I just can't stop smiling. But I also know that it's exactly what I need. What I need to bear. Without that smile on my lips I would have stayed here forever. Without that smile I would have died.
Then I rise, and the man does too. We walk out through the door, together. Out to a new life, because nothing will ever be the same. But it's not the end.