No One Ever Gets In Me

         His smile is lighting up the room, he tilts his head back and laughs. While his eyes aim at me, I feel he's so obvious.
 
         He apologizes then, I can't remember what he did though. It doesn't matter, I know he just wants to talk to me. Just wants to hear what I'll say back, what funny thing I'll come up with next. I'm exhausted, though.
 
         I think of being with him, how it would be. I can't even mention his name with a few girls swooning, automatically. He's like that guy. The one everyone tries to have and no one can get. Plays every sport, goes to every party and everyone knows his name.
 
         "I hope he asks me to prom." Every girl said about him. He goes stag, sits alone and stares at me the entire time. Never takes his eyes off of me for a fleeting second.
 
         Did he ask me to dance? No. Did he talk to me once? No. I feel like I'm being tested with temptation. Not a smart idea.
 
         Everything I say, it seems, makes him tilt his head back and laugh. Everytime he does it, it makes everyone look. Then they all stare at me. I feel jealousy burning on my back and wish it wasn't me.
 
         I'm probably the most "conceited" girl I know. The least jealous. I could care less what people think about me, that's the funny thing with self-satisfaction, it can fill up every part of you. I don't need a guy to think I'm pretty, not even the most socially admired in the school. Then, here I am, I could be desirable or not and here he's coming to me.
 
         They watch me, I take him like he's anyone else. I know they think it's so unfair that I could have what everyone wants, and want nothing to do with it.
 
         A guy like that, I could destroy. He's laying all his cards down on me, I see him slowly slip into this desire. I watch, and it's pathetic and as it gets stronger I get less willing, more unattached.
 
         I'm not sweet, I'm not giving and I'm defenitely not willing. I'm myself and I belong to me. No one ever gets far, and to see them try. I'll watch him get turned on, then I'll watch him slide.
 
         No one ever gets in me.