So much for my happy ending

Diary-Miserable
Aaarrgh!!! I hate my life! I can't believe it. This is soo unfair! Y should this happen2me? Oh god! Diary, m so depressed. You won't believe what happened2day! 4all these days, I've been living my life wit a betrayer! Ya! Ya! The1 whom I trusted all my life fooled me! He made love to another girl. Gosh! All these time I were believing what he were saying..now I know it's all bullshit! How am I ever gonna 4get him? Oh no! R u thinking what i am thinking? He used me! Now I've had been dumped n no1 would want me!  Evry1 would try to have me juz4pleasure wen they know that m useless. But.....Nooo! I can't leave Mark! I love him so much! But how m I supposed2live with sum1 who betrays me? When I asked him about it, he 1st lied2me...Wat m I gonna do??? Feel soo hopeless and heartbroken!  Oh! I got it! I'll ask advice from 1 of our Sweet Gang Guys!



Dear Ash
Poor and sad 2 hear about it. Anyways I'd got really angry with u.Really got furious. And got sad2. Ive always been telling ya rite 2 dump this bastard? Just know that if u have courage 2 love, u would have the courage 2 suffer . . . which might seem like shit now, but in the end, you'll b in heaven..if you'd just fuckin leave this fuck face! From your talking, I'd understood your feelings, Marks behavior, your wills, what u can do n what u cant do. M not that good @ giving lectures. But still can I tell the golden words of life huh? Neva cry4 any1. (I always used 2 say this right, Ash?) Coz 4 the person whom your crying doesn't deserve your tears..n the 1 who really deserves it, never let u cry. Just know that this is the truth. And id experienced this very well. I know boys, id experienced their flirts, their feelings, their sympathy in front of us. I cud tell whats in my heart ok...
I don't think Mark loves u.Guys like him, especially flirty fellows never behave good. U know and think well..Did u ever got happy after being 2gether with mark? Why cant u end your relationship? U cud suffer but you'd get a better boy den mark.cant u c that mark is hurting u a lot? U know..your problems make me remember ma past..I've experienced a lot in ma life. Even more than u, I've faced problems n suffered a lot.I'll believe that no matter how much u love sum1, if that person1 is behaving like an asshole,you'll have to leave him.If he loves u, he wont behave badly rite? Would care u? Will try2make u happy? Will behave the way u want? Will look after u? Wont hurt u?
BUT is any kinda thing like this happening between u both? Nay! He doesn't deserve u! Duh.I dunno what the hells wrong with u?! I guess and wonder a lot about these questions. But I'd never got the answer. Had tried a lot. But nuthin'...no answer.
Why we don't care 4 people who care 4 us and v care4 people who doesn't care 4 us? Why v cry on loss of a guy who never considered us as a human and let go the ones who considered us more than any1? Why we cry 4 people who ix not worth a tear and make people cry who care 4 us? Why v make sum1 sad 4 no fault of his/her and the one who is happy, making us sad? U know the saddest thing that I ever did in ma whole life? Could u leave the 1 you love most2another girl? Could u do it? Huh? U know I did it.i loved ma bf v much so 2 sacrifice his happiness I left him4another girl.I left ma happiness, ma love4him. He said2me that he loves another girl, and I asked him nicely whether he wants2b with her and he said "no" that it wont b fair4me. He said that he don't want2hurt me, He's the boy that I loved most in ma whole life, A trustworthy, caring, understanding, believable, a boy who had faith in me; who shared his single problems2me and who involved in ma every single happiness and sadness.And4his happiness, I left him, And I told him that i am leaving u simply without any questions, not because I don't love u. He said he believe that I love him very much..And he used2call and talk, Actually, he wasn't happy wit me. I made him happy. He wants n loves that girl. But because he didn't get da1he love most, (that girl)he was fucked up and he was trying 2 find ma fault. But he couldn't and he told me about it later. Nd I did it4his happiness,
If u truly love sum1, den the only thing u want4'em is2b happy...even if it isn't with u... He left that girl b4 coz that girl was the 1 he loved most, and she said2him that she loves another boy...so he left her4her happiness. He sacrificed her happiness and wen we became lovers, that girl came back and cried near ma bf. And he was very sad. She regrets him. And later I knew that ma bf wasn't happy..and I knew that i am hurting n making 2 people sad. So4their both happiness, I left him. It was fucking hard4me; I got hurt and sad. Cried like hell. But thank god for, I did it! Still its damn hard4me2..but m controlling ma feelings...n I know I cud,,and I am doing it..Coz I know that love is being patient. Do u know the recipe4love huh?
One spoon of laughter+2mugs of understanding+A pinch of argument+A bottle full of 2getherness!!!
Has any of these involved in your relationship? U love him and he don't love u. And he's just using' u! And da1who ends up fucked up and hurt pretty badly is U! You'd given enough chances2Mark. . but still he blew it. And wit confidence, just make his game over. Just let it go. He's just playin' a hell fuckin game with ya! Mark don't deserve u! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Damn! Juz leave him! I thought ma friends would've got confidence and courage. But guess you've got none. Why the heck cant u leave him?
Listen up,, pal! Dis is the last time m gonna tell u this..I've got really mad @ u. Juz remember I aint gonna ever help u in Marks problems anymore! Ur turnin into a complete zombie, but still u don' want2leave him! To love him that crazily, m amazed considerin2da least amount of things he did4u!What did he do4 u that u cant live without? Huh? R u INSANE??Ur totally outta ur mind!! I wont n cant believe u! Is he your breath? Ur heartbeat? Look, life's not always easy..its like an exam.. V must control our feelings which might suffer but which will lead2 happiness sooner or later in the end!
So I hope you'll get rid of this shitty, worthless bastard for good! Tc love; Jenna

P.S. Think very well before u ruins your life!!! I won't talk to you unless you've made the right decision. And u must know darnn well what the right decision is eh?



Auto message: hi it's Jenna. Leave a message and I'll call back to you later...thanks!
HEY I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID UNTIL MY MIND SEEMED LIKE IT WAS GONNA BURST ANY MINUTE! LOL! ANYWAYS THANKS 4 ALL THE ADVICE AND IV DECIDED TO BREAKUP WITH MARK... I'LL C YA LATER!BYE



CHAT LOG CONVERSATION OF ME AND MARK
Date Time From To Message
10/21/2006 3:54:01 AM [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] [e-mail] I am very sorry to say this...But I've made up my mind to Say goodbye. I really hoped for u to change...but u didn't...And in the end I've to leave u...So goodbye4ever...
10/21/2006 3:59:40 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] Please don't do that..
10/21/2006 3:59:51 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i really love u darling
10/21/2006 3:59:55 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] please
10/21/2006 4:00:06 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] please take the phone
10/21/2006 4:00:28 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] please???
10/21/2006 4:00:41 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i love u sooo much
10/21/2006 4:02:26 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] how cud u juz ignore me like dat? do u feel nothin' about us??
10/21/2006 4:04:44 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] y aren't u not believing me??
10/21/2006 4:05:14 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i swear i love u more den anyone else in this world!!
10/21/2006 4:05:58 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] please take the phone and at least listen to me..
10/21/2006 4:06:54 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] honey, please 4give me..
10/21/2006 4:07:06 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i am so sorry...i truly am..
10/212006 4:07:48 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i wont ever, ever do a kinda thin' which hurts u anymore . . coz da pain i get is unbearable. . .
10/21/2006 4:08:21 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] love u endlessly . . will always love u . . .
10/21/2006 4:08:50 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i juz cant bear to b without u
10/212006 4:09:46 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] juz one last chance and I'll make it all up 2 u . . please??
10/21/2006 4:12:53 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] baby,please im begging u like hell....coz i really love u and want 2 b with u ... by your side always...i want to hold u in my arms and never let go...
10/21/2006 4:13:19 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] i'll neva ever let go of u . .
10/21/2006 4:13:45 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] I'll b faithful...please believe me.. O else im gonna go crazy!
10/21/2006 4:13:51 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] pleeease?????????
10/21/2006 4:13:57 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] ?????????????
10/21/2006 4:14:19 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] don't u even care whatever it happens to me?
10/21/2006 4:15:05 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] please baby
10/21/2006 4:15:11 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] have a heart
10/21/2006 4:15:40 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] I'll wait 4 u till u 4give me...
10/21/2006 4:16:05 AM [e-mail] [a=20][c=47]$0 muc#4My #@pY EnD1nG;)[/c][/a] Don't care whatever it takes..I'll wait 4 your love . . . . . . . . . . . 4 u only honey