Shades of Grey

         "Livi! Olivia!"

         "What?" Not receiving a response, Olivia looked up from her book, glaring though her purple bangs at her panting friend. "What the heck do you want, Korinne? Can't you see I'm busy?"

         Korinne took a few more seconds to catch her breath. When she finally spoke, Olivia saw worry etched all over her freckled face. "It's Lee... him and Nathan are going at it again, and they both look pretty pissed off."

         Olivia rolled her eyes and sighed, closing her book. "If that big goofball could just keep his mouth shut for five seconds, he wouldn't get into so many arguments. Where are they?"

         "Out on the blacktop. Come on," said Korinne, turning and rushing for the door. Olivia followed her, jogging out of the classroom and wincing slightly as her eyes met the bright noontime sun. She heard nothing but their two sets of footsteps at first, but as they neared the blacktop where the guys always played basketball, jeering and yelling reached her ears. She and Korinne passed classroom twenty-five and rounded the corner; just ahead was a cluster of mostly junior and senior guys, arranged in a circle, in the middle of which Olivia recognized her dark-skinned boyfriend and his lanky opponent.

         "Alright, move it, everybody," she said loudly, shoving through the crowd. "That's my idiotic boyfriend in there, get out of my way." She reached the inside of the spectator circle just in time to see Lee shove Nathan roughly, a moderately aggravated look on his face.

         "You should be more careful which fights you pick, Rivers," said Nathan, shoving Lee back. "After all, you don't have mommy to go crying to anymore."

         The jeering crowd almost immediately silenced. Red fury boiled up inside Olivia at this low blow, and she saw her feelings reflected on Lee's face. She strode over to Nathan, grabbed the front of his shirt, and yanked him down with a strength she never knew she had, bringing him from six-foot-one to five-foot-five.

         "You wanna say that one more time?" she hissed, her electric yellow-green eyes narrowed to slits. Nathan seemed so shocked he didn't even struggle for a moment. By the time he did, Lee was coming at him with clenched fists and Olivia let go of his shirt; Lee's punch hit him solidly in the face and sent him reeling backwards. Then, Olivia just stepped back and watched as the two boys duked it out, vicious rage still burning inside her.

         Two hours later, Olivia sat in a classroom serving detention, and Lee had been sent home: he was to be suspended for ten days. Olivia supposed it was for his own good, seeing as he hadn't taken a single day off of school after the funeral two weeks previously. She had been there with him, and had never imagined he'd be in a fit state to come to school the next day. Somehow, he managed it, though with his sanity on tenterhooks at times.

         Suddenly, Olivia noticed that sometime during her musing, the bell had rang and all the other detention students had left. She briefly considered staying a bit longer so she could finish filling her notebook page with doodles, but the teacher started giving her odd looks. So, slinging her indigo-and-lime-green messenger bag over her shoulder, she strode out the door into a fresh spring breeze and walked the short distance home.

         She watched the sunset that evening with impatience - a rare occurrence. As the last vestiges of light faded from the horizon, she donned a black hoodie and midnight blue jeans, and slipped out the back door of her house. Olivia was sure her absence would go unnoticed - her mother worked well into the night at the law firm, and her father was busy working on his latest novel (he had recently taken to falling asleep at the keyboard every other night). So, as her feet traced a familiar route through the suburbs, she felt no need to rush.

         Even so, she arrived at Lee's house in minutes. Silently racing to the backyard under the cover of shadows, she quickly found Lee's window. The lights were on and the curtains open - the signal they had developed for "all clear." Olivia climbed the stairs to his second-story porch, vaulted over the gate at the top, and softly rapped on the window. Lee, lying on his bed, looked up from his sports magazine and gave her a smile, though a slightly sad one. When her opened the window, she climbed inside and gave him a quick, chaste kiss.

         "I wish your dad would revoke his stupid rule about grounding you for half of your suspension," Olivia muttered. She clasped her hands behind his neck and rested her head on his chest. "I always thought he was the more lenient one of your parents."

         "Yeah, well, that rule was Mom's idea," Lee said softly. His voice began to waver a bit. "I don't think Dad's going to forget about it anytime soon." He took his hands off her waist and went to lie on his bed again.

         Olivia sat at the foot of the bed, leaning against the wall. She cast about for a topic to break the silence. "So... you sure kicked that guy's butt pretty good today. I saw him practically hobbling out of the nurse's office after school," she said with a little chuckle. She looked over at Lee, expecting to see that mischievous glint in his dark eyes, that look she loved so much - but he avoided her gaze. "Well anyway," Olivia continued, "besides the whole being grounded part, I think this break from school will be good for you."

         That one got Lee's attention, but not quite in the way Olivia had hoped. He glanced at he with suspicion and said, "And why is that?"

         She took a deep breath before answering. Looking him straight in the eye, she said, "Because you can't go around moping like this forever. Since your mom died, you've been nothing but angry and miserable all the time, and it's really starting to get on my nerves."

         Lee gave her a sharp glare and said irritably, "Yeah? Well, if you can that to me again after your mom dies, then maybe I'll give you some credit."

         "I'm not saying I know what it feels like, I'm telling you that life goes on and you have to get over it sometime!" Olivia exclaimed in frustration. "I'm starting to think you just enjoy being pitied. You're always looking for attention, after all."

         "I think you enjoy being cruel and heartless to everyone you know!" Lee said angrily, standing up with his fists clenched. "You're like a machine: you can't understand the fact that other people have feelings!"

         "You - " Olivia stopped abruptly in her reply as she heard the front door slam shut.

         "My dad's home. You'd better go," Lee said coldly, not meeting Olivia's furious gaze.

         "Lee - "

         "Get out!" he exclaimed, and she reluctantly stepped out into the cool night air, stumbling home in the darkness, her eyes blurred with unshed tears. She didn't bother with stealth as she staggered through the front door, dashed up the stairs, and collapsed on her bed. Yet for all her frustration, she let not a single tear fall, dabbing her eyes on her aqua pillowcase.

         As the days of Lee's suspension and grounding passed by, Olivia couldn't help but to think about the things she had said to him, and to realize just how much she regretted the way she said them. Lee was right; she had difficulty sympathizing with other people, and "sensitivity" wasn't one of the more common words in her vocabulary. All she wanted was to be able to express herself without worrying about what people thought of her. But in the case of her boyfriend, she had to be more caring, more empathetic, more - sensitive.

         On the sixth day after Lee was suspended, his dad would finally let him off the hook. All that day in school, Olivia's insides twisted and untwisted, as she knew that she would have to talk with him again in order to fix their relationship. So with determination, she dropped her bag off at home and went straight to the lake.

         Lake Rancho Santa Margarita was Lee's favorite place to hang out. He spent almost all his free time there, and Olivia often went with him, usually to watch the sunset. As she arrived at the lake's edge, she peered over to the far side and quickly spotted Lee sitting on some rocks that jutted out over the water. Olivia approached the rock with trepidation - he was the only person who could make her so nervous.

         "Lee?" she called softly. He didn't respond, but neither did he leave. "I'm - I'm sorry for those things I said. I didn't mean them."

         He glanced over his shoulder at her and met her gaze, only for a second. Then he turned back around and said, "Yes, you did."

         Olivia sighed. "How do you always see right through me?"

         "You make it too easy," Lee said tonelessly. "Your eyes always give it away."

         Climbing up onto the rock, Olivia just sat beside him in silence, knowing that he would have more to say. She settled down comfortably, watching clouds drift by overhead.

         "I know I've been a jerk to you," Lee said at length, "and to everyone else, too. What you said... well, I guess I knew that already, too. It's just that..."

         He drifted off, and Olivia finished his thought, "I should be a little nicer when I chew you out for it?"

         "Yeah, something like that," said Lee.

         Hearing his new tone of voice, Olivia looked at him and finally saw that mischievous glint in his eyes, tinged a bit with sadness, but it was there nevertheless. She smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder. "You are such an idiot," she said softly.

         "Sticks and stones, Livi," Lee replied with a chuckle. Olivia felt his warm hand under her chin, tilting her face up towards his. Closing the gap, they shared a kiss so sweet it was rivaled only by their very first.