A robbery gone wrong

“You gotta be careful you big monkey”

Chuck was used to the nagging; it washed off his back like water.

“Now we got a broken window to worry about, what the hell we gonna do with the broken glass?”

Chuck thought for a second, a puzzled look crossed his face and quickly vanished. “I don’t know, that’s your job, I’m just here to do the lifting.”

“My job! My job! If you weren’t such a screw-up I would have a lot less work.”

“I know boss, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to ya.”

A voice popped in to calm the static, “cut your talk, we have a job to finish.”

The museum hallway was quiet.

The calm voice broke the silence.  “It’s just down this hallway.  Follow me I know this place like the back of my hand. The night watchman is taking his lunch break so we should be free and clear.”

“You heard the man, you big monkey, follow him he’s gonna need you when we get to the picture. I heard the thing weighs 3 hundred pounds. It’s mostly the frame though, anyway this is when you prove that you’re useful for something other than screwing things up.”

Chuck had stopped and was trying to sweep up the window glass.

“Sorry boss I’m right behind you”

The hallway opened into a large showroom.

“Do you hear that Chuck?”

“I don’t hear nothin’ boss.”  “Whaddya you hear?”

Staying calm the voice spoke “It’s just down there, I need the big guy with me”

“I still think I hear something, Chuck you sure you don’t hear anything?”

“No boss nothin’ but maybe you should go check it out.”

“No way this place is creeping me out, I’m with you guys.”


They stopped in front of a grand picture at the end of the showroom.  The moonlight glistened off the golden frame.  Their eyes filled with excitement as the voice spoke.

“This is the one, okay the big guy just needs to reach up and lift it off the wall, it’s only held up by a few hooks, one each corner.”

“You, the one that never shuts up, go back to the door and make sure we have a clear path.”

Chuck stepped up to the painting and reached for the sides.

Suddenly the lights flashed on. 

“Freeze, stop right there, on the ground now!” 

The voice was stern and Chuck froze and went to the ground as warned.

“I knew I heard something you stupid bastard.  You need your ears checked.  Maybe all the weightlifting has messed up your hearin’.”

”I told you to freeze, that means freeze your mouth.”  The officer was stern and the pistol backed up his words.

“Hey where’s that other guy, the smart one?’  Chuck asked nobody in particular.

“I’m right here, now just stay calm, we’ll be just fine”

“I said shut up and freeze, stop your talking!”  The officer was starting to inch closer.

“Wadda we gonna do guys were in so much trouble, boss whadda we gonna do?”

“You stupid monkey don’t worry, nothing is going to happen to us we’ll just blame it on the smart guy, this is his museum, it was his idea, we’re in the clear.”

The officer closed in, and radioed for back up. 

“This is Officer Petty, I’ve got a break-in at the City Museum, I’ve got one man down but I need back-up quick. This guy won’t stop talking to himself.  I’m a little worried here.”