Theology Doesn't Have a Sense of Humor

I totally read commentaries for fun.

Gordon Fee, he's on my top friends.

Pnuematology, eschatology, ecclesiology, and Christology,

I know the definitions of all these.

Hell, I write blogs.

Tons of them.

Real smart ones.

I have read the Pentateuch in both the original and the Septuagint.

I want to go to Israel and walk where Jesus walked

Just so people know how dedicated I am.

I don't listen to worship "music" much.

I feel it cheapens the deeper theological meaning of the concept of "true worship."

I've read John 4 like seven times, so I know all about true worship.

Yeah. The woman at the well.

Backwards and forwards.

I like worship by Sufjan Stevens and David Bazan because it's ambiguous.

If you have to search for the meaning it makes it all the richer.

I make and break friendships based on what they listen to;

I can't be hanging out with heathens and hypocrites, you know,

I'm a theologian.

I'm a teacher.

I'm a scholar.

I have a reputation to protect.

And a Church to fix.

I'm kind of a scholar. You know, a biblical one.

I only go to two churches. Mars Hill.

And University Presbyterian.

I need pastors who actually read the bible.

It really is the most important aspect of Christianity you know.

I know it backwards and forwards.

I had a race with John Ortberg once to see who could read it the fastest.

I totally kicked his ass.

Four days and twenty-two hours.

That's because I'm a scholar.

And he preaches self-help.

Who needs self-help?

Not someone who knows the bible.

Like I do.

I'm a scholar.