Snow way this will end well |
Normally, all the snow I see is on the news during the winter storms. However, I do once in a long while get to go up mountains that get large amounts of snow annually. During one of my trips up the snowy peaks, I learned about a snow activity that I thoroughly enjoy: Snow tubing. The concept is simple, slide down a snow covered hill on top of a rubber inner tube. All that is required at the site I participate at is an admission ticket. Everything else is provided. Except free Hot Chocolate... ...and Dignity insurance. After doing a few sample runs, I decided to go down hill in a more "cool" manner. I backed up about 10 feet from the edge of the slope, ran as fast as I could, and jumped in a position similar to the swan dive. As I flew through the air in slow motion, R. Kelly began to sing to me. I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sky. I believe that you messed this up. I believe you will not land right. I believe you dorked this up. I believe this will be a sight. I learned two valuable lessons in physics that day: Lesson on physics 1: Rubber bounces on snow and ice. Lesson on physics 2: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Thanks Newton. I landed on the left side of my inner tube. We bounced in the air and turned upside down. My tube proceeded to ride ME down the slope. I swear I heard a sonic boom as I went flying down the slope. Snow was entering my coat through my neck and coming out near my ankles as water. When I finally found enough breath to turn this story into a XGC rating, my shoulder caught the snow. I flipped back on top of my tube and finished the last 4 feet of the run. As I struggled to my feet, I couldn't find my hat. After a few dizzy moments, I spotted it near the top of the hill. The guy behind me decided to be a hero and went for my hat. He went down on his tube with his legs crossed. Using more grace than I ever had, he lifted his tube at a 45 degree angle and picked up my hat. I politely thanked him without speaking my mind, "Show off" I refused to give up after one try. So once again, I backed up and jumped. I didn't know why at the time, but R. Kelly was giving me an encore. I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sky. I believe that you messed this up. I believe you will not land right. I believe you dorked this up. I believe this will be a sight. Yeah... ...He grabbed my hat again. |