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Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Satire · #1450081
somebody gotta do it
A Hallucinogenic Poem

Once upon a mushroom spell I fell amongst
a wishing well where I met a friendly frog
named Mel who came to tell a tale like this.

“The fog is thick and this bog is mine but
I’ve taken sick from too much pine so if
you’d care to share a sip of wine I’d feel
very fine and then we could dine on fish.”

Although most eerie the amphibian’s query
left me with the least of leery so I shared a
sip of what was mine, however it was a sip
of beer not wine.

“Now” said I, “I wish the fish to be served
in a dish with butter and lime by a lass
named Trish who speaks in a ridiculous rhyme.”

Mel mumbled, “I must decline for this wine
makes me whine ’tis not at all what I had in
mind and as for the fish your picky wish
sounds quite delish but I pawned that particular
pike to a feline for five fried flies and a ball of twine.”



“You slippery slime!” cried I, “I shared a sip of
wine and at that the brand at hand was a special
wine yet your Yiddish ways make you decline
this wish of mine?!”

“Ha, Ha!” Mel mocked my desire to dine.

After time my spell began to dwindle and decline
Thus I parted solo to play polo as I started from
that ridiculous wishing well of rhymes.

As for that frivolous Mel, he no longer lives
to sell his swindling lines, for I dined on his
insipid spine.





The Orange Jumpsuit Blues

Jailhouse kicks and a sugar fix is the only way to sing the blues.
Everywhere you look, you cast a dirty hook to a sea of the open blues.
Radar signals and crooked pigtails give a poor boy the blues.
We’re taking mug shots while standing next to drugged bots.
Now connect the dots in ones and twos.

Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
He gotta go pee.

Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
You know he need to pee.

Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
He says he gotta pee.

Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out,
I’m saying HEY MOTHER FUCKER LET THE GOD DAMN DOG OUT!

You don’t know what love is till you know the meaning of the blues
No you don’t know what love is till you sing the blues

Where you going when you’re going as my heart starts glowing in neon blue.
Gave anti-depressants to all the peasants and wouldn’t you know it,
those presents are blue.
The maiden of this song started parading in braids and a thong and it may seem wrong but it give a poor boy the blues.
Every where you walk the bodies are lined in white chalk and they might as well have just used blue.

Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
He gotta go pee.
Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
You know he need to pee.
Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
He says he gotta pee.
Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
I’m saying HEY MOTHER FUCKER LET THE GOD DAMN DOG OUT!

You don’t know what love is till you know the meaning of the blues
No you don’t know what love is till you sing the blues

Gave Chicken Little an electric fiddle, he said the sky ain’t falling but it sure is blue.
Betty Crocker sat in a rocker smoking squares till her lips turned blue.
Asphyxiation was the cause of decimation that’s why number ten was little boy blue.
I heard on the news that having the blues was the lack of having a good screw,
What else ya got to do?

Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
He gotta go pee.
Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
You know he need to pee.
Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
He says he gotta pee.
Let the dog out, let the dog out, let the dog out
I’m saying HEY MOTHER FUCKER LET THE GOD DAMN DOG OUT!

You don’t know what love is till you know the meaning of the blues
No you don’t know what love is till you sing the blues



The Wonderful World of Sin

Come on in
Take off your skin
Welcome to the wonderful world of sin.

Grab two bottles of gin
Let us begin
This is the wonderful world of sin.

Bring your whole kin
Take notes with your pen
Label it how to survive this wonderful world of sin.

Practice your Zen
It’s a game you can win
We’re all just playing along in this wonderful world of sin.

Jimmy was strong but Jesse was strapped
Another cold wind blows and leaves her lips chapped
They were proud but much too young
Another cold wind blows and leaves her face numb
If not for tears, it wouldn’t have stung

Read me the headline in the paper again
“Another Casualty in this Wonderful World of Sin.”

Come on in
Take off your skin
Welcome to the wonderful world of sin.

Grab two bottles of gin
Let us begin
This is the wonderful world of sin.

Bring your whole kin
Take notes with your pen
Label it how to survive this wonderful world of sin.

Practice your Zen
It’s a game you can win
We’re all just playing along in this wonderful world of sin.

A pulsating brain clouded in amphetamines
A tainted knife hovering over a victim lacking a spleen
When sleep is prominent gnaw on this crack
Oh, how the tainted knife destructs with a slash and a yank

Where are they taking him chained in that van?
To be incarcerated somewhere in this wonderful world of sin.


Come on in
Take off your skin
Welcome to the wonderful world of sin.

Grab two bottles of gin
Let us begin
This is the wonderful world of sin.

Bring your whole kin
Take notes with your pen
Label it how to survive this wonderful world of sin.

Practice your Zen
It’s a game you can win
We’re all just playing along in this wonderful world of sin.

It’s a brand new day
So much to learn
Elevating smoke and screams as they burn
In grief and frustration a lesson is taught
Oh, please don’t dismiss the smoke and screams from your thoughts.

What did the little girl do when she couldn’t find a friend
Well, she flash fried everyone in this wonderful world of sin.

Come on in
Take off your skin
Welcome to the wonderful world of sin.

Grab two bottles of gin
Let us begin
This is the wonderful world of sin.

Bring your whole kin
Take notes with your pen
Label it how to survive this wonderful world of sin.

Practice your Zen
It’s a game you can win
We’re all just playing along in this wonderful world of sin.
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