Selah

"I'm telling you, it's gonna happen!  It's gonna happen tonight!"

Selah paced back and forth, grinding a rough trail into the carpet as she moved, her exaggerated movements giving evidence to her desperation.  Unbrushed hair hung down to the middle of her back and spilled over her shoulders, swaying in the breeze she created.  Bangs bounced off her forehead with each movement as she spoke with her best friend on the phone.

"I saw it in a dream, Lydia.  I saw the whole thing!  I'm telling you, it's all gonna fall and everyone is going to die!"

"You're so weird, Sel!  It was just a dream.  We all have crazy dreams every now and then.  It doesn't mean they come true."  Lydia sighed loudly.  "Hell, if they come true, then I guess I'll be riding a giant lizard to work tomorrow.  I wonder if I'll have to pay double for parking...," Lydia said, blue eyes rolling in frustration. 

She was used to Selah's weird ideas, but the way she was going on about this dream was somewhat disorienting.  To be perfectly honest, Lydia was beginning to wonder if maybe there was something more to this dream than just eating dinner too close to bedtime.  Selah was very strange sometimes, but she wasn't crazy.  She had a good head on her shoulders and very seldom showed poor judgment.  If Selah was freaking out over something, it usually meant there was something worth freaking about.  But a dream?

"Lydia, please, just humor me on this.  We're not talking about cowboy lizards!  We're talking about the end of the world.  Melodramatic, I know, but seriously!  You know me, Lydia.  I'm not just making a big deal out of nothing.  Maybe it's not as bad as it seems, but SOMETHING is going to happen and it ain't gonna be good.  I just want to know you'll stand by me when it all goes down.  Promise me."

Lydia sighed again.

"Lydia!  Promise me!" Selah pleaded.

"Ok.  Ok, fine.  I'll stand by my psycho friend and wait for the end of the world," Lydia finally said with another sigh.  "Just keep in mind that when we don't all get smashed to smithereens by fireballs, that I'll be right there to start making fun of you immediately.  And I will NEVER stop.  You hear me?  Never."

"If I'm wrong, you have full permission to do whatever you want.  I'll just be glad for the time."

"EVER!" Lydia repeated emphatically.

Selah was glad her best friend agreed to come, but it didn't really make her feel much better.  The fact was, if the world was ending tonight, it wouldn't make a difference where anyone was.

"Ok, so meet me tonight at seven on the bluff over by Chrismon Park.  And don't tell anyone about this.  If I'm wrong, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a loony bin, ok?"

Lydia chuckled.  "Ok, psycho.  I'll be there, and I promise to protect the privacy of my crazy friend Selah."

"Oh hush, you jerk," Selah replied, only half joking.  "I have some things I need to do before tonight.  Maybe see if anyone else has had a premonition or dream about this.  The more I find, the more I'll know if I'm just out of my mind or not.  I'll see you tonight.  Seven!  Don't forget!"

Selah hung up the phone before Lydia had a chance to respond. 

*****

Selah spent the day writing letters, making phone calls, and visiting people.  The way she figured it, if her dream came true, the things she mailed would never arrive, but she'd have a clearer conscience when it all hit the fan.  If, however, she turned out to be wrong, the people who got her letters might be able to make peace with themselves and with her.  That couldn't be a bad thing, and really, it was embarrassing that it took something like this to make her reach out again.  If I live through this, I won't be so stingy with my love or forgiveness.

The first phone call she made was to the National Weather Service to find out if there was anything unusual going on in the atmosphere.  According to the lady she spoke with, all looked normal and there was a slight chance for thunderstorms in her city that night.  It was nothing she couldn't have found out on the website, and really it wasn't even the lady's job, so she thanked the woman graciously and moved on.

Her next call was to a local minister.  Perhaps if there's some omniscient Being in contact with believing people, they might know if something is going on.  The minister she spoke to was less than helpful.  About all she could get from him was that she needed to be saved from ... something ... and that someday in the future, there would be a colossal "end of the world" type show by this Being.  After about five minutes of this, Selah gave up and disconnected the call.

She finally decided to contact spiritualist.  Or psychic.  Or medium.  There are a dozen names for them that all hold different connotations.  Whatever they were called, it seemed to her that they were in tune with nature and spirits and forces and might be more willing to feel the situation out with her.  Thanks to the internet, she found a local favorite with good reviews and dialed the number.

"Naomi speaking.  How may I help you find your way?"

The woman's voice was simultaneously sharp and husky, varying between tinny, shrill tones and a low, breathy sound.  It was nearly too much for her senses to handle, but Selah forced herself to stay on the line and see this though.

"Yes, hello.  I was wondering if you have experience with dream interpretation."

"Of course, my dear.  That's how I started many, many years ago," the woman replied softly, endearingly, almost like a grandmother soothing a child.

"Do you have time today to meet with me?  I could use some guidance," Selah asked.

"I do, yes.  Two o'clock is all right with you?"

"Yes, that's perfect."  Selah verified the address and thanked the woman for her time.  An hour later, she arrived at Naomi's home.

*****

For over an hour, Naomi listened as Selah detailed the dream that was now an obsession.  She described how the sky flashed white as if some chemical had collided with its opposite.  She detailed the descent of planets and rapid temperature changes of the atmosphere as the balance was lost to chaos.  She told of a sky full of stars suddenly crashing to the earth and the lightning that erupted as the static in the atmosphere intensified.  The dream was so vivid to Selah, it was as if she was truly living it or had lived it before.  It was just so ... real.

Now she sat, her story told, filled with anxiety.  She tapped her white sneakers against the blue linoleum floor of Naomi's dining room to some imagined song.  Her hands lay in her lap, tightly squeezing each other, sharing sweat. It seemed this place had a connection to her that she hadn't felt before and it was nearly enough to make her run away.  But if there was something to all this, to her, she needed to find out what it was.

Naomi spoke quietly.

"You speak with passion and dream in color.  You fear what you have not seen with these eyes, but you have indeed seen what you describe.  You fear your past, not your future."

Selah was stunned.  And confused.

"Wha ... What does that mean?  What are you talking about?"

"Give me your hand.  Sit still, say nothing, think of the vision you told me."  The woman closed her eyes and laid her hands palm up on the table between them.

Selah obliged the woman and placed her right hand on the table.

Naomi cradled Selah's hand in her own, gently rubbing up and down her fingers, tracing circles in her palm, all the while humming a strange melody.  The song continued for a few minutes, measured in time with the gentle rocking of Naomi's head.  The humming stopped and the woman opened her eyes suddenly and looked at Selah intensely.

"You are an old soul, a wanderer.  You have lived many lives before this one, inhabited many bodies before this one.  You have watched the world come into existence and be destroyed by fire.  You do not dream, you remember."  Naomi spoke with fervor, her voice somehow steadied, low and breathy.  Her eyes never wavered, her lids never blinked, and she never let go of Selah's hand.  As she spoke, Selah felt that this was the truth, though she couldn't understand how or why.  She tried to say something, but her voice came out a squeak and a whisper.

"How....wha..."  She swallowed.  "Me?  Why?"

Naomi smiled tenderly, face wrinkling in sympathy.

"I do not know how.  I simply know that it is.  I can not tell you why or how, only what.  You must learn why.  You know the truth within yourself; I have only spoken the words."

She finally released Selah's hand and gave it a gentle pat.

"Go now," she said abruptly.  "You have much to examine, much to think about.  And you must not be late tonight."

Selah's eyes narrowed sharply in surprise at the psychic.  How did she know about my meeting with Lydia?

"How did you ..." Selah stammered.

"I know some, but not all.  Some of what you know, some of what you do not.  Seems unfair, yes?"  The woman smiled again, revealing yellowed teeth.  "Go now.  You must not be late."

She ushered the stunned girl to the door and sent her on her way.

"No charge!" Naomi yelled after her in a shrill voice.  "I will see you again!"

The woman chuckled gently and turned to go back inside.  The door closed with a click, the only sound Selah heard for a long time.

*****
"How long have you been waiting here?"

The voice seemed to come from nowhere.  It startled Selah from deep within her thoughts and she slowly turned to see Lydia.  Where am I?  Lydia?  OH!  It can't be time already!  How did I get here?

"Oh... Not long," Selah lied.

She didn't remember walking to Chrismon Park and she certainly didn't know how long she'd been here.  It seemed better to just keep that to herself than concern Lydia with things.  She took a step toward Lydia and gave her a hug.

"I'm glad you came.  I was afraid you ..."

Lydia interrupted her, speaking dramatically for emphasis.  "Why must you doubt me so?  I said I'd come and I came.  I'm not gonna leave you here to freak out alone.  Besides, if something interesting happens, I figure this is the prime viewing locale, right?"

She smiled at Selah, partly to reassure her friend, but partly to reassure herself.  Yes, she was here, but she didn't really want to be.  She had been contemplating all day if she would go or not.  Yes, she had promised Selah, but as the day went on and she thought about this silly dream that was making her so crazy, Lydia began to wonder if something wasn't really wrong with Selah.  Things just didn't feel right and she wasn't sure she should get involved.  So, she made a compromise with herself and did something she wasn't proud of: she lied to her best friend.

"I do have a bit of bad news, though."  Selah's face turned very sober as she braced herself.  "I can only stay out for an hour.  My boyfriend invited his mom and dad over for dinner last week and I completely forgot about it.  I really have to be there, and I barely convinced him to push dinner off for an hour for this.  He said I better not be late or I'll make a, quote, 'hell of a great first impression,' end quote."  Lydia emphasized the words with over dramatic air quotes and the best voice imitation she could muster.  "So, I'm kinda stuck to that and can't get out of it for anything.  I'm sorry, Sel."

Selah sighed.  She'd half expected something like this to happen, but it still disappointed her.  Especially in light of what Naomi had told her earlier...

"It's ok," she lied again.  "I know how important he is to you."  Selah tried to crack a smile, but it was a miserable imitation.  Disappointed in herself, she reached out and hugged Lydia again.  "Really, it's ok.  I hope everything goes great."  This time she meant it and it showed.

Together, they spread out the blanket Selah had apparently brought in her dazed walk over.  They laid down and watched the sky transform from day to night.  They watched for stars to appear in the graying sky and counted them as they shone.  They named the moon and called out to it from the bluff far below, as if it could answer them.  They laughed as if nothing was wrong or could ever go wrong.  For awhile, it felt like they were in elementary school again; no worries, no fears.  It was just the two of them and they could conquer the world.

Eight o'clock came too soon.

Lydia and Selah bid farewell with wishes of a good night and deep sleep.  Selah stood on the bluff and watched her best friend fade from view in the darkening world.

*****
Stars came out by the thousands and shone as brightly as they could in a vain attempt to ward off the darkness.  It was almost as if they knew that tonight was their last chance.  So they lit up the sky and grew brighter with each passing moment, just as the sky itself grew darker in time with them.  One by one, the stars flared up and exploded with brilliant light.  The sky burned white with each dying star.  In minutes, the whole sky was flaring and burning and flashing as the stars seemingly sacrificed themselves in a last, desperate act to win this battle.

And the stars did win.  But at great sacrifice.  For as the stars died and gave off their last lights, they left their stations in the sky and plummeted to earth.  The rocks which held the spirits of those sky-lights crashed to the earth in a shower unseen before by anyone alive that night.

Except Selah.

Selah had seen this.  She had seen this hundreds of times before.  From different lands, from different heights, in different mindsets, in different bodies... but always the same.  She had seen this before.  And just as before, she would watch the world be destroyed by the stars who sought to protect it, and she would cry and mourn over them all.  She would stand on her weak feet and watch as everything died.  She would swear to herself again to remember this sooner and find a way to stop it.  She would promise herself that next time, she would be stronger and wiser.  She would beg to every power in the universe for another chance to change fate, to change destiny.  She would plead for another opportunity to try something different.

And she would get it, as always.

Like every time before this, she would stand alone and die alone and feel her spirit release into the dead world waiting for the time to pass until she could be born again into a new body and be given another lifetime.  It never changed.  It was her punishment for failure and her reward for trying so hard.  Only time would tell.

And so she stood there, melancholy, and watched as her sky crumbled again.