To Win His Heart - Chapter One

         She is a fifth year girl just transferred from Durmstrang. Put in Gryffindor she has made many, many friends. Her best friend is Ginny Weasley. She is witty, spunky, and determined to win the hearts of everyone she comes in contact with; this ambition has been extended to include all of her teachers as well. The two girls are perfect for each other, and Ginny has joined her in her ambition. Her name is Becka and this is her story...


         I liked it here. I liked it much better than I liked Durmstrang. I was brilliant, top of my class, teacher's pet, you name it – it was my title. The problem was, I didn't have any friends. The sorting hat had put me in Gryffindor and I was glad. Those kids looked like kids I could be friends with.

         I came to Hogwarts the beginning of my fifth year at the big feast. I got off of the train and wandered over to an empty carriage. I placed my things at my feet and settled back into the seat. I was soon joined by a bouncy, red-haired girl with green eyes. She sat down across from me and smiled.

         “Ginny Weasley.” she said, offering her hand.

         “Becka.” I returned. “You won't be able to pronounce my last name, so I won't bother telling you.” I told her. She laughed.

         “I like you, Becka. Can we be friends?” she asked. I was taken aback. Friends? I never friends at Durmstrang.

         “Sure.” I returned. We were soon joined by two other girls and the carriage rolled off...

         And that's how it started. I was soon determined to make friends with everyone I met at Hogwarts. This was easier than I thought it would be. I was put into Gryffindor house, which made it very easy to make friends, as everyone was as determined as I was to make friends.

         I was pretty much a favorite with most of my teachers too. Ginny often gawped when I knew an answer that most sixth-years didn't. I was quick and smart and mostly studious. The problem was that some classes were quite boring. And when I get bored, I get in trouble more often than not. One of the classes that bored me the most was Defense Against the Dark Arts. The subject itself wasn't boring, no, but our professor was. Professor Severus Snape was probably the grouchiest teacher I ever had. My ambition to win the hearts of all of my teachers seemed to be at a dead stop.

         When I first saw Professor Snape, I was taken very aback. Most of the professors were in their fifties, at least. Not Professor Snape. He looked to be in his early thirties, or something. He had chin-length black hair and piercing, ice blue eyes. He had high-cheek bones that jutted out a little more than was natural, for his face appeared slightly thinner than was healthy. He had what I had heard my friends describe as “pouty” lips. I had never understood what they meant till I met him. His skin was much tanner than I would have expected, his office being in the dungeons. All in all, he had what I would describe as a dark, broodingly handsome air about him, but was cut just short of the “handsome” mark for some very minor facts, such as he never smiled and he wore a scowl that was only ever replaced by a sneer. Also, he never wore anything that was remotely flattering: it was always the same, thick, shapeless, black robes.

         In Defense Against the Dark Arts, we were practicing non-verbal spells, at which all of us were horrid. We weren't supposed to be learning this stuff yet! It was only our OWL year! But, Professor Snape didn't care. He drove us hard. January 14th  was the first time that I actually performed a non-verbal spell. Several others in the class could perform them before I could, but I didn't care. I was proud the first time I performed a non-verbal spell.

         “Pathetic, Miss Becka.” Drawled a voice behind me. Professor Snape had been watching Ginny and I practicing.

         “P-pathetic?” I demanded. “I actually did it!”

         “Do you dare contradict me?” he asked, his voice low. I was angry.

         “Yes.” I spat, “I do. For the simple fact that you are being unfair!”

         “Be careful, Miss Becka. If you continue to contradict me, I will have to make an example of you.” He said coldly.

         “Example?” I nearly shrieked. “You've been cruel to me since I met you for no reason! How much more of an example do you want?” I demanded.

         “Detention.” He said simply. “Saturday night in this classroom. Now, I -”

         “Detention?” I demanded. He raised his eyebrow. “For what? Telling the truth?”

         “Would you like to do detention Friday and Sunday nights as well, Miss Becka?” he asked coldly. I glanced at Ginny, who was very pale and shaking her head violently.

         “No, sir.” I returned quietly.

         “I didn't think so. Now, continue practicing the non-verbal spells.” he said and turned to prowl through the rest of the classroom.

                             ***********************************

         Saturday night was rainy. I climbed to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom in a bad mood. Professor Snape met me at the door, dressed in his customary black. We walked into the classroom. He flicked his wand and all the chairs levitated to the tops of the desks.

         “You will sweep, mop, and wax the floor. Without magic.” he said. I raised both my eyebrows. That wasn't hard. It was a very small classroom. It would take an hour, maybe two, if I really dawdled. I had heard horror stories from the other Gryffindors about Snape's detentions. This was nowhere near what any of them were saying. “Hand me your wand.” he told me, extending his hand.

         “Will you break it?” I asked him.

         “No. I am much too afraid of the tantrum that you would throw if I tried.” He returned.

         “Was that a joke, professor?” I asked, surprised.

         “I shall have you know, Miss Becka, that I do not have a sense of humor. I never have and never will.” he told me, his voice expressionless.

         “Well,” I muttered, “I know that's not a joke.” I said, handing him my wand. I started sweeping. I finished the sweeping and was a quarter the way through the mopping. I stood up to take a break and stretch. “What are you doing?” I asked, curious, and walked over to his desk. He hadn't stopped writing since we had come in.

         “None of your business, Miss Becka. Finish working.” he told me, without looking up. I stuck out my tongue in his general direction as I turned once again to my work. As I bent down  near one of the desks to mop under it, the chair on top slid off and hit me on the head. I looked quickly at Professor Snape. He was still bent over his parchment, but his wand was in his hand.

         “You did that on purpose!” I exclaimed. He raised his head to look at me.

         “That will teach you not to make nasty faces when you don't think people can see you. I see everything that you do, whether or not it appears that I am looking.” He told me.

         “Oh. Now I'm scared.” I said sarcastically.

         “Be careful, Miss Becka. An attitude like that could get you in trouble.” he said, his left eyebrow arched.

         “In trouble?” I asked, holding out both my hands and motioning to the room. “I'm already in detention. What else can you do?” I asked. Both his eyebrows were up now.

         “Expel you.” he returned simply.

         “Actually,” I started, and placed my finger on my cheek, pretending to think. “You can't. Only the Headmaster or the head of houses can expel students.” I told him.

         “Then I shall haul you kicking and screaming to Minerva McGonagall and demand that she expel you.” he told me flatly. I grinned cheekily. He bent again to his parchment. Was it the candlelight or did a smile actually flicker across his face? I went back to my work and  was finished within an hour.

         “I'm finished, Professor.” I told him. He glanced at my work. Then, with a flick of his wand he sent the chairs back to the floor.

         “You may go.” he said simply and handed me back my wand.

         “OK. Goodnight, Professor Snape.” I said as I left. He nodded with a sort of grunt and I headed back to the Common Room.

                                                 ************************

         I tried very hard to win the heart of our grouchy defense against the dark arts professor. At the very least, I wanted his respect. At the most, I must confess, I wanted him to like me. It had very little to do anymore with the vow I had made when I first came to Hogwarts about being a favorite with everyone. I really wanted to impress him, maybe it was for the simple fact that he was the only teacher I had ever failed to impress upon meeting them. He was demanding, grouchy, and hard, but I had a certain grudging liking for him. I did wonder at times if there really was a real person under all the callous insults and snearing remarks. I was determined to find the person that was hidden under the thick, black robes and the perpetual frown.

         “You know,” I told Ginny one night in the Common Room, “He would actually be handsome if he ever smiled, I bet.”

         “Good luck with that. I've been here for five years and I've never seen him smile for real. I don't think he even can smile!” She returned. That instantly became another part of my goal. I wanted to make him smile. No one else could make him smile, so I might as well add that to my list of impossible feats that I wanted to accomplish.

         So, I tried. I tried very hard. I would stay up till midnight in the library doing research, extra learning, etc... to gain Severus Snape's respect. I did extra credit reports. I always made my essays longer than the assigned length. I read ahead in the books we were reading. I did extra practice with Ginny. Then, I would crawl to my dorm, sleep for a few hours, and then be back doing work very early the next morning. By February, I was exhausted, grouchy, and still no closer to my goal. I was technically top of the class, but that did not matter. February 1st was probably one of the worst days of my life.

         “Miss Becka.” Professor Snape called during our lesson. I looked up from my reading. He had my essay in hand. “I distinctly remember telling you to make your essay twelve inches long. You have over twenty-four inches here. If I wanted twenty-four inches, I would have told you.” He said severely. I felt as if he had slapped me. My cheeks burned.

         “Yes, sir.” I muttered.

         “On top of it, your spell-work is going down-hill considerably. You cannot send a feather across the room without it shaking so much it is half-bare by the time it reaches the end of the room.”

         “I – I'm very tired, sir.” I said in a quiet, shaky voice.

         “Being careless with your physical health is no excuse for poor work in my class. I would expect better work from you. Do you understand?” he demanded.

         “Yes, sir.” I said very quietly.

         “Very good. Class, dismissed.” I escaped the class as quickly as I could. I went glumly to the Common Room and dumped my books on my bed. I turned to leave.

         “Becka? Where are you going?” Ginny asked. I shrugged, not looking at her.

         “To the kitchens. Don't tell anyone where I'm going. I want to be alone for a while.” I told her.

         “Are you all right?” she asked, determined to catch my downcast gaze. I avoided her eyes.

         “I'm fine. I just want a snack and a break. I'll see you later.” I told her.

         “Okay. Whatever you say, Beck.”

         “Thanks.” I returned and escaped to the kitchens. I was met by Winky, the house elf. “Mistress Becka looks very upset.” she told me.

         “I am.” I returned simply. She and the other house elves ushered me to an empty table. I soon found an enormous chocolate-chip cookie in front of me (bigger than a dinner plate) and a large, tall, glass of very cold milk.

         “Thanks, Winky.” I told her. She nodded her head and went back to her work. I sat there, staring off into space, not touching the cookie, thinking, stewing, for over twenty minutes. After twenty minutes, Ginny came into the kitchen, hands on her hips.

         “I thought you said you were fine and were just going for a little snack and break.” she said without preamble.

         “I lied.” I returned flatly.

         “I can see that!” she returned. She was angry. I shrugged. She sat down on the bench across from me.

         “Becka. C'mon you gotta talk to me. What is it?” She asked. I shrugged.

         “I've tried so hard, Ginny. Really, I have, you know that.” I told her. I sighed. “Doesn't he get it? Doesn't he realize that I just want his respect? He is cruel and harsh! He reprimanded me for doing more work! What type of a teacher does that?” I demanded. She shrugged.

         “I don't care!” I spat. “I will do it. I will earn his approval. I told you at the beginning of the year that I would win the hearts of all my teachers. I will do it!” I exclaimed. The house elves pretended that they weren't listening. I didn't care if they were. Ginny was silent. She then got up with a shrug.

         “Becka.” she said quietly, “I don't think you can win something that isn't there.”

         “It is. I know it is, Ginny. He is human, isn't he?” I asked quietly. She gave me a half-smile.

         “That's arguable.” She said, and left. I started to break apart the humongous cookie and dunk it in the milk. I heard the slight pop of one of the house elves apparating. I didn't think anything of it at the time.

         Several minutes after that, the kitchen door burst open. I turned. There, in the doorway, stood none other than Professor Snape, hauling Dobby the house-elf with him. He strode over to me, his left eyebrow cocked. It was impossible to read him through his expression. “Miss Becka.” he drawled. I set my face in an expression of stone.

         “Yah?” I demanded.

         “Dobby here has found it very important to inform me that you were down here eating an enormous cookie and dunking it in milk.” he said, nodding to my snack. “It is a habit that I too find quite peculiar.” he said.

         “You mean to tell me you've never eaten milk and cookies before?” I asked, not meeting his eyes.

         “I must confess I never have.” He said simply.

         “You should try it one of these times. Better medicine than Madam Pomphrey can give.” I said, deliberately not looking at him.

         “Miss Becka, I am not one for compassion, b-”

         “That's a fact.” I spat bitterly. Against my will, two tears leaked from my eyes. I quickly dashed them away, hoping he didn't see. He was quiet for a few seconds. Then he turned and left the kitchen. I turned to Dobby.

         “Dobby! How could you?” I demanded.

         “I is very sorry, Miss Becka. But, I is seeing you so distressed and is seeing that Miss Ginny cannot be helping you either. So, I was knowing that only a professor could help, so I went to the nearest one.” He said, wringing his hands. I put my head in my hands.

         “It's okay, Dobby.” I said with a sigh. “Thanks for looking out for me.” I said.

         “I is only wanting to be helping.” he said with a bow, and went back to his work. I realized I sat there eating my cookie, that it had become something, well, more of late. I realized with a start that I was actually falling in love with him. guestIt was ludicrous and all the girls, even Ginny, would laugh if I even hinted that I was. However, the fact remained, I was falling in love with Severus Snape. I was not used to being in love. And being in love with Snape with my lack of experience was not much of a comforting thought.

          I stayed in the kitchen for a while, then I glumly hauled myself to the library to do homework. I picked at my dinner, staring off into space. Lavender Brown, Pavarti Patil, Ginny, and I sat together as usual.

         “What is your problem?” Lavender asked. I shrugged.

         “Nothing.” I mumbled.

         “Uh huh. Yah, sure.” Pavarti said, rolling her eyes.

         “Are you still stewing about what happened today in Defense Against the Dark Arts?” Ginny asked. I shrugged.
         
         “I ate a cookie the size of a dinner plate less than an hour ago. I'm not exactly hungry.” I said.

         “You're avoiding the question.” Ginny said pointedly.

         “What happened?” Lavender asked.

         “Nothing.” I said quickly. Ginny rolled her eyes.

         “We'll talk about it later.” Ginny told the other two. They nodded wisely and we finished dinner in silence. Later on that night, we sat together in front of the fire of the mostly deserted common room. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in a corner doing homework, but other than them, we were the only ones.

         “So, what's going on?” Pavarti asked Ginny and I. I looked to Ginny. She could explain it. I didn't want to accidentally let my secret slip. She explained my goal of winning the hearts of the teachers and then what happened in class that day.

         “He reprimanded you for doing more homework than he assigned?” Lavender asked incredulously. I nodded.

         “Jerk.” Pavarti spat.

         “Well, well, I don't know.” I said without thinking.

         “What?” Ginny demanded.

         “Well, I – I, well, I'm sure he has his reasons.” I said lamely. The girls looked at each other, puzzled.

         “Maybe.” Lavender said, doubtfully. “But, c'mon, you can't honestly think he was being nice to you.”

         “Well, no, but...” I finished with a shrug.

         “So... he was cruel to you, and then what happened?” Pavarti asked.

         “I went to the kitchens.” I said simply. I felt the heat rushing to my face.

         “What happened in the kitchens?” Lavender pried. I shrugged.

         “I ate a cookie.”

         “And...?” Pavarti said encouragingly. “Something else happened. What?”

         “How do you know anything happened at all?” I asked. Ginny raised her eyebrows.

         “You're blushing.” She said simply. I ducked my head, but smiled a little bit.

         “Well. I guess it is kinda funny, now that I'm looking back on it.” And I told them what happened with Dobby and Snape. The girls were howling with laughter by the time I finished. I found myself joining them. It felt sooo good to laugh after such a hard day. Harry, Ron, and Hermione came over.

         “What happened to you four?” Ron demanded. “Cheering charm gone wrong?” That sent us all giggling again. Both boys exchanged puzzled glances.

         “Okay. You girls are very strange. I'm going to bed.” Harry said and he and Ron left.

         “So, what's so funny?” Hermione asked, sitting on the floor across from me. Still giggling, the four of us told her the whole story. She too was giggling by the end of it.

         “Oh, I would have given anything to be there when it happened!” Hermione said. I shrugged and blushed. No, I don't think she would have. Hermione looked at me long and hard.

         “What?” I asked.

         “Oh, she's just finally putting two and two together.” Ginny said slyly.

         “What's that supposed to mean?” I demanded. Lavender sighed.

         “No offense, Becka, but you're a bit thick.” She said. I flushed. Could they possibly know?

         “What do you mean?” I asked quietly. Hermione sighed.

         “What do you think we mean?” she asked.

         “It's okay, Becka. Really, we've known for ages.” Pavarti said with a smile.

         “Known what?” I demanded stubbornly. Ginny sighed.

         “That you are in love with Professor Snape.” She said bluntly. I blushed.

         “Well, yah, I guess so.” I said, hanging my head in embarrassment. Hermione reached over and put a hand on my shoulder.

         “It's okay, Becka. Really it is. I know you wouldn't like him if you didn't see something that the rest of us don't. And that's fine. Really. I don't know what's going to come of it, but, we're your friends. And we're here for you” She said with a smile.

         “Yah,” Ginny said, looping her arm through mine. “Cause friends stick together and support each other, no matter what.” she said. I looked up at them, so glad to friends like them.

         “Thanks.” I said quietly.

         “Anytime.”