To Love Again

Sometimes,

I think I'm going crazy.

I still thinking about things I can't control.

Thinking about what could have been..

I know that the past is the past,

yet my mind still clings to the memories.

Sometimes I just have to tell myself to stop.

Tell myself to look around,

and realize...

It's just me.

I want to love again,

but it's not easy when you feel your hearts been smashed into pieces.

It happens just about everday.

That feeling of loneliness who decides to knock on my door.

Some days I just lie in bed,

with the music low,

and ponder all the shoulda, coulda, wouldas.

And I know it isn't healthy for me to think about what I can't control.

But it bothers me.

I don't care about the breakups...

or the fact that they probably just don't feel the way I do.

What I do care about is how every time I feel I get somewhere...

when I get that first taste of being content...

life slaps me in the face.

I call myself a romanticist.

I'm one of those who believe I can shape my own destiny,

and shape all of my hopes and dreams.

And it's hard for me to know what I want,

and not obtain it.

It's hard for me to set goals,

and have dreams..

knowing they'll never come true.

I don't think about the past to dwell on it...

I just want to know where I went wrong.

What did I say?

What did I do?

What didn't I say?

Or what didn't I do?

Or...was it just the way things just have to be?

Romanticism can be a cruel thing.

The passion inside you that motivates you,

and brings you to heights you never imagined...

Can sometimes be the end of you.

And it takes a while for that passion to ignite again.

And someday...

I hope to love again...

To have children...

And have that passion which motivates me run through my veins once more..

But for now...

It's gone..

Just waiting for that one day..

That one day... I'll love again.