The Diary I Kept When I Was a Teen

Saturday, February 14th 2004
12:47:49
Well Today is fun....NOT
* Mood: guess
Welp today has gone by fast..it is after all valentines day and not a soul in sight to share it with..Yippie! Other than that I decided to go to my dads house this weekend. In case u don't already know, my parents are devorced. They split as soon as i was 6 months. I go from house to house everyother weekend which is not to fun but hey what can you do. Went to Lows earlier (the evil store) and pick up some things with my dad and my brother and ran into a few friends along the way. My dad decided to lecture us on "paying bills" this weekend which is actually the argument between the folks....ran into some tight months and we need money for car insurance...especially my brother who's going off to college soon and has no way to get there. Oh and don't get me wrong, I do have the money for insurance but my mom says it was put in the bank for COLLEGE, not for car insurance. Well there are my thoughts for the day...Maybe I'll submit something later! bye bye for now!


Sunday, February 15th 2004
20:08:18
~~!!!!WOW!!!!~~
* Mood: guess
Well today was VERY interesting. After 4 weeks of fighting over my dad giving my brother money for car insurance he gave it to him!!!!!!!! I thought i knew my dad..when his mind is made up it is made up. He called a "family" meeting which he had never done before. I thought he was going to talk to us about not giving us any money, as he did the other night, and lecture us on how to responsibly pay bills and save money (as if my mom wasn't responsible). I think that it was sally (my step mom) that talked him into giving in. You shoulda seen her face when my dad gave my brother the early "graduation gift". He always listens to her but never his children. I wonder why that is. I guess I still have a lot to learn about my father. Although I have to say im glad for whatever reason that he decided to support my brother for once instead of putting him down.


Tuesday, February 17th 2004
13:08:04
YIPPIE SCHOOL!
Today was a busy day for me at school due to the fact that I have a Spanish 2 test to study for tonight. I also have a lot of homework to do so I wont have too much time for fun. Hopefully as the week progresses I will have less homework to do. Oh, and for the record giving us homework on stuff that is very complicated that have never learned before is just RIDICULOUS if it isn't even in the book!!(Honors Bio.). Welp, better get to work..and I must say have fun to everyone else who has tons of homework tonight. I don't feel sorry for you. hehehehe


Monday, March 1st 2004
15:32:36
I KNOW LOL
Well, It's been a while since I have wrote something and i realize this. I have been busy with school, friends, and family matters but I have decided to take some time to end this streak. I will get you all updated as much as I can and want to.
Things to cover:
1.
The boring chit (School)
2.
Family/Friends
School has been going....well what other than hard, but im hanging in and getting homework done. We will be starting an essay soon in Science class and I have no idea what I am going to do. I would like to do a report on Schizophrenia, but I have to write on a disease that is not hereditary. I would still like to learn more about schizophrenia though for a reason some of you may know. (just in case you don't know what I am talking about I don't have it) If you have any ideas for me, feel free to comment. We have a while to choose the specific disease we want to write on. I will write more tomorrow depending on how busy I am.


Wednesday, March 3rd 2004
13:20:47
The Post I Promised
Well, we got mid-term grades...I am getting one B in Spanish which makes me mad since I am trying as hard as I can to get it up. But that's okay because I have 3 weeks to bring it up... lets see if I can do it. Last weekend was quite interesting. Friday night I rode the bus home with a friend, which is a privilege because I usually have to walk home and my mom never trusts me to go somewhere before she gets home. I guess she is finally lightening up a little since I am doing well in school or maybe it is because she thinks I am finally responsible enough. I have no clue what she thinks anymore and I have stopped trying to figure her out because every time I try I get even more confused. Anyway, back to Friday night. We decided to go out to see The Passion of the Christ but of course, it sold out so we chose to buy tickets to Miracle. I think that is was a good movie. I thought it looked stupid at first because I do not like to watch sports, but it surprised me. You not only get a chance to see the men play hockey, but you get to see the story behind each of the main characters. Every time one of them was injured, you felt just as bad for them as they did for themselves. I say that the movie was surprisingly good and I would recommend going to see it. There was a good message behind it. Saturday and Sunday I went medal detecting with my dad at Memorial Park. I had fun.


Friday, March 12th 2004
06:42:02
What a Day!
Why hello everyone who cares to read this...the week has been busy as you know from my earlier post but I have not said why. Well it started out with a good weekend. I stayed at my mother's this weekend and I went out with some friends just to have fun. By the time we were through with bowling (I scored 100 something :- i know i stink) we were all ready to call it a night. Saturday I figured I would tackle the report I had to write for wellll fun you could say. It was extra Credit for my History class. I am getting an A+ but I still thought it would be a good idea to write it. I always do better on the tests if I write an essay first. Sunday what other than church! I actually enjoyed it this weekend. I had many things to pray about. Ahhhh as you probably all know, lent has started and I gave up something that I think will be hard to give up. I gave up cussing yet again because last year it was a good habit and I want to fall into it again. As for the week I have had plenty of tests and such to keep me busy. Plus I miss my grandma . She is in Cali now!!!!! Lucky her...it's snowing here and she's over there soaking up the sun...I made her promise to bring me back some lol. If you know me well, this weekend you know I go to visit my father at 6 o'clock tonight. But that's not going to happen because I have a party to attend. My friend is already 17!!!!! wow were getting old fast...I still remember the days in kindergarten when we used to be best friends with a girl named Brit...who turned out to be my cousin. I was quite surprised when I found out. I haven't seen brit in probably 5 years. Well it's time to go for now. I have tied up the library's computer long enough (I am at school). Write later - Sammy



Friday, March 26th 2004
19:23:30
In the Past Weeks
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
Well your probably going to hear the phrase, "well it has been a while since I have written anything" a little more often now-a-days. I have a lot going on and less time for relaxing. I know I'm just a kid but that doesn't mean I can't be busy. There's a lot of stress with being a teenager. But on a more positive note, I will tell you about the fun and not so fun things I have done in the past weeks. One week ago, our school decided to make us test subjects for the new OGT's (Ohio Graduation Tests). That was a whole lot of fun...NOT. The test were in the morning and the classes we missed we had to make up all the homework in one day. That would be three days of make up work. I was up late finishing that homework...even had to take some home over the weekend..which brings me to my busy weekend. Friday night after school I had to go to my Aunt's House to babysit my FOUR cousins from Friday to Sunday morning. Unfortunately one of them came down with the flu and I was up pritty much all night Friday and Saturday. Sunday afternoon I got a break and their father, my uncle, came home so I went back home. Then Sunday night I decided to go to a concert with a friend that lasted until 11:00pm. That wasn't a good idea because I had a huge Biology test the next day. The concert was at the Palace and the band was Lonestar. They are a country group which really isnt my type of music but my friend was there so it wasn't that bad. The next week,this week, was very overwhelming. We had many tests to close up the 9 weeks and start a new one. I was up until 11:00 P.M. almost every night studying, from 4:00 until 11. But it's finally Friday and I'm sitting here writing this when I could be sleeping so I will stop writing now. Until the next time - Sammy
PS: Grandma & Grandpa are coming home Tuesday!!!!!



Saturday, April 3rd 2004
10:14:28
My life
* Mood: guess
* Health: Not Sick at least
* Music: Roc
Hello to all that care. Well this week has been probably the best week I have had in a while. Although, that is about to change. First, I shall write about this week so far, and then tell you all what's happening in the next weeks. This weekend started out slow because it was the end of the nine weeks at school. We didn't have much homework to do, with the exception of Biology class. Mr. ***** likes to pile on the homework. I don't blame him though...most of the time. I was the one that wanted to sign up for honors so u have to expect a lot more homework. Hard and sad to say I got a 3.5/4.0 gpa this nine weeks. Three B+'s grrr....right on the line too (91%). I also got two A's and one A+. This nine weeks will be a challenge. Hopefully I do better than the last nine weeks. Once the middle of the week came around, things started to pick up. Tests and homework galore. As you can tell I managed, but there was one more thing I had on my mind. Vacation!!! I am going to go to La. on the 7th and return on the 14th this month. I am going to visit relatives and a cousin who is finally at home while I am visiting. He is 21 so I hardly ever see him....hes got a new life of his own now. But I am looking forward to seeing them all since it has been a long year. This is probably the last time I will write until I get home. That is unless I get online down there which I doubt. Until then- Sammy



Saturday, April 24th 2004
18:59:32
..........
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
It's just over. It's like nothing I could have imagined, and once it was over I felt as if he had jammed his hand into my chest and sqeezed my heart so hard, that it starts to bleed. But he was my first true love. I wouldn't give up that time I had getting to know him. He changed me, and let me know there is more out there for me than I realized. He let me know i could love, when I refused to think I could care for someone that much. Yes, we are still friends but every time I talk to him it hurts to even think we could have been more.



Thursday, April 29th 2004
06:37:07
Well, it's Thursday.
* Mood: guess
Hello all those people out there. I haven't written a lot lately, so I am finally catching you all up. I guess I will have to start with my trip since that was the last time I wrote something about what was going on with my life. As you know I went to New Orleans, La. The flight was the probably the worst part of the trip. I absolutely hate flying, so I was up 26 hours before the flight not being able to sleep. Once we got there, I slept the first night away. I was expecting my cousin to come home, but he was still out on the rig. He didn't get home until one day after I left. Although he wasn't there, I did get to see my aunt and uncle to talk. We did quite a few things while we were down there, including going to the French Quarters on Burbon Street. My relatives live on a huge lake, so we took out the jet ski quite often. That was a blast, especially when you almost get thrown off. It's a big jet ski so we even went tubing off of it. I learned how to play a new game while I was gone called Dominoes. We played it almost every single night, except for Easter Sunday in which we played Battle of the Sexes with neighbors. We had quite a time playing that (the women won). Once it was time to go home, I was dreading the returning flight. Before the flight, we stopped at Denny's for breakfast with my uncle. The flight back was much worse because the winds were extremely strong. Once I got back, it was time to go back to school to finish up the week. During this time, I figured out that I had 3 projects and a paper due along with a test in every subject. The next few weeks were just full of make up work. But last weekend I finally had a little time to relax. I visited my father since it was his weekend. We went out to La Pizzaria and to a movie. The movie was 13 Going on 30, which was an ok movie. Can't complain though. The past few days, I have been catching up with friends and stuff along that line. Until next time- Sammy



Tuesday, May 11th 2004
08:40:27
<-O-O-> I see you!
* Mood: guess
Well hello all readers. It's been a while since I have written in this thing, so I guess it's time. Last week was jam packed with things to do. We finally finished up Julius Caesar by Shakespeare in English class with a unit test. It was, of course, all essay and was divided into 2 days of work. We also wrapped things up in Biology class with a chapter test, which I got back today. I managed to get an A which is good news since I had a C in that class. ME? A C??? yes....i know... Anyway, Friday night was not as busy and I went over to my dad's house. We ordered out, as usual and after I ate I watched an hour or two of tv. Later, I got online to play yahoo pool with my brother who did not go to dad's that weekend as usual. I decided to hit the sack at 10pm for the reason that I had to get up at 7am the next day. On Saturday, I got up, took a shower, and my mother picked me up to take me to the dentist. Once the appointment was over, I went back to my father's house but he wasn't home. I waited there until he got home and then we went to the high school and played tennis for a couple of hours. We decided to get a bite to eat while we were out, and I ran into an old friend whose name is Sarah. She went to drag this year, so I don't see her often. I was glad to see her and even more happy when she told me she was comming back to the high school for her senior year! Sunday, I came home, since it was Mother's Day. That was a fun day. Finally Monday rolled around, and I had an awards assembly to attend. My brother went with me, since he won an award for the school website. You can check it out if you wish by clicking on the following link: http://www.leps.sparcc.org/. Tuesday was full of homework since we had a Spanish test today, which is Wednesday. Well that's about all for this afternoon.
Until next time -Sammy



Friday, June 4th 2004
14:34:52
Ello all!~
* Mood: guess
Well, it's been too long since I have last wrote, so for all that care sorries lol. I have been busy as a bee studying for my finals and was getting ready for summer break when bronchitis hit me. I missed the the week before finals, so that was not good. Here there has been a lot going on, for the reason that we are getting ready for my brother's graduation. It is today at 7pm so yall are lucky I'm taking the time to write lol. Well things have been a mess lately, expecially yesterday...I am still upset and i think I will be for a while, so if you're reading this(and you know who you are) I will talk to you when I forgive you. After all, it is done and over with and I never want to look back at that night. It wasn't meant to be. As I told him.........friends last longer than boyfriends. I knew this would happen sooner or later.....take my word for it people, online relationships NEVER work, and I am planning never try to make one work ever again. Anyway, enough with the drama. I am glad the summer is here, finally. Yesterday was, of course, my last day of school and now I must plan to get a summer job.
Until next time~Sammy



Wednesday, June 16th 2004
15:15:59
Heya Peeps! lol
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today! Single and lovin every minute
* Health: Not Sick at least
Hey hey all, I have got quite a bit to talk about and not much time. Summer break has been....well it has been going that's for sure. My grandma is away on vacation but my grandfather decided to stay home since he has a golf tournament. I miss her as always. On a positive note, I went out to find a job. With luck, I managed to get an interview at the first place I put in an application right on the spot. I worked at McDonald's on Tuesday in the morning. I had a good time, although it was very H-O-T, HOT! That was only training though. Hopefully I get the job! With any luck i will, but if not there is always other jobs out there. I talked to my father about this weekend. To my surprise he is busy! So, I guess I will be going to New York after all...who knows. Well that's all the time I have for now.
Until next time~ Sammy



Friday, June 25th 2004
19:00:20
Yet another weekend!
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
* Health: Not Sick at least
* Music: Roc
Well hello everyone. I have finally found the time to write again so plz take time to read lol, that's all I ask. In general....life is normal, for now. Last weekend I went to my fathers for the weekend since my father managed to clear his schedule. Friday we didn't do much...just the usual. (Pizza and TV) But the usual is good. Saturday we went on a long drive and ended up at a family reunion for my step mom.....that was something new. I enjoyed the plains, though. They had an etreamly good view and when u climbed the hill, and might i add VERY steep and VERY high. You didn't want to go back down for two reasons. One being you might fall and break something lol...and secondly the beautiful view. Well that lasted about all day and once we got home it was time for bed. Sunday I went to the park with my dad and he decided to metal detect while I read a book and watched a soccer game that was going on at the time. Monday I called Mc donalds because they never called me even after I worked 4 hrs for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tuesday I got another call for an interview at the hosp. witch was today at 10 am. I think i did quite well, but we'll see. I have decided to write on friday because we will be taking off the NY for the weekend to visit relatives. I will enjoy the time there. Well that's it for now.
Until next time~Sammy



Sunday, July 18th 2004
01:24:03
How long has it been?????? TOO LONG!!!!
* Mood: guess
* Health: Not Sick at least
Hello too all you people out there that read this. Again it's been a while since I have written, but this time I have a better excuse. I GOT A JOB WOOOOHOOOO!......I will talk more about that later, but for now I will get you all caught up with everything else going on these days. I had a great time in New York especially seeing my youngest cousin who is 7 months. The drive too and from NY was very pritty and by the time I got home I had seen so many trees that I wasn't as concerned for the rain forest anymore. Once I got back, I received a call from who is now my boss and he called me in for an interview. Obviously it went well and I got the job at a Care Center. The care center is set up so that there is a resturant down stairs, so that is where I work. I enjoy the job and today was my third day at work. Right now i am being trained, but it is still a lot of fun...as fun as work can get. Also this week and the last my other cousins from Louisiana came up for a week long visit along with my cousins from NY. We had a blast....especially at night when we would all gamble are money away playing Texas hold'em. Last weekend I also went to a party for a friend of mine and we played volleyball and set off fireworks once it got later into the night. That was pritty fun..but tiring since I went to another party after that at a relatives.....My cousins from NY have yet to return home and tonight they stopped by and we all watched a DVD. Right now it is getting late though ...so i must get going.
Until next time~ Sammy



Thursday, November 25th 2004
21:22:08
But Arn't We All Busy?
* Mood: guess mas o menos bien
* B/F: not today! who cares lol
* Health: Not Sick at least erm...is that a lie?
* Music: Roc ..yay rock on
Hey everyone!!! I bet you are all surprised to hear from me... First off I would like to say happy holidays to the people that are just waiting for a post lol...and if u still check this after all this time...you are quite patient...that or u are a crazy stalker lol. I have been very busy lately..if u haven't noticed, so that's why I haven't posted in all this time...11th grade is taking a lot out of me...which is kinda sad since im only 17 lol.. oh yeah my birthday was the 5th of October so I am 17 now. There is finally a 4 day weekend (thank god) where I actually have some free time to catch you all up sorta..Okay where have I left off...lol...I forget so I'll just tell ya the important things in the past 2 or so months:
I have been working a lot..and raking in the money, lol, while also going to school..working on projects, and spending time with my family.I have seen a few movies lately but not many, and been out to eat a few times. I don't have a boyfriend yet and an not counting on getting one so yay for the single people lol. I am too young for that stuff yet I suppose so I focus on things such as learning and caring for my friends and family. It's been over 100 days of working at the Care Center..so I got a raise..over $7 / hr now (yay) lol They haven't fired me yet!! (What are they thinking?!?!?!) lol hehe ...naww...i love the job and do my best....but anyway it is time for bed. I will try to write soon
Until Then- Sammy



Thursday, January 13th 2005
13:35:33
BOO!
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
* Health: Not Sick at least
* Music: Roc
Hey hey ...guess who it is! ...It's me the person you are stalking. How is my stalker doing this afternoon...hehe... Anyway..I'm doing alright. I just took my mid-term exams all this week and they have worn me down to the core. They were quite challenging this year and I'm just glad they're over with. I haven't been up too much lately but studying, studying, studying. I managed to go see a movie Monday night for extra credit. I watched the movie Spanglish, then had to write a review and a summary in Spanish for extra credit. I will post so ya'll can read but I am horrible at Spanish so forgive all the errors lol. If you know spanish and can point out a million errors, feel free to e-mail me with corrections if you would like ta "help a sister out" lol. Here goes....

El Cine Spanglish (Resumen, Crítica y La lección Aprendió)

En el principio del cine, la hija Christina y su mamá Flora necesitaron mover de su hogar al Estados Unidos de América. Fueron a Las Angelus, California dónde la populación es 48 por ciento hispánico. Flora trabajaba dos empleos y mantenía su familia para diez años. Luego, fue ofrecido el mejor empleo que pudo espera. Era a una case dónde conoció John, el mamá de su esposa, su esposa y sus niños. Todo era bien hasta decidieron ir a un otro casa que fue demasiado lejos tocar el autobús a su empleo. Flora y su hija movían en la case y permitía su hija ir a colegio privado. Luego, realizió que era un error permitir su hija unir porque se hizo otro persona. Su hija se olvidó quién estaba y su mamá decidió renunciar el empleo y mover a su casa vieja. Obligó Cristina decidir que quería. Decidió que quería estar como su madre y no olvidar dónde vino de.

Pensaba que el cine enseñó una lección muy buena que personas necesitan aprender. Los actores en el cine jugaban sus papel muy bien, especialmente el mamá de “Johns” esposa. Doy este cine tres estrellas.

Aprendí que tú debes serse y no debes olvidaste quien su era. Quería ser su mamá.



Friday, April 22nd 2005
21:08:07
Been Forever?
* Mood: guess
heya all...its been a while and i have been pretty busy.....school and work and all the other things that need to be done. Such as studying for SAT's, taking the SAT's, visiting colleges, choosing a college, filling out millions and millions of papers to get 100 dollars in scholarships (lol), getting my license (ugh @ the classes required), planning summer gym(woohoo), and having the little tiny bit of fun I get to have once a year (vacation woohoo). Actually I don't think we will be going on vacation this year with all there is to do.. Although visiting colleges will be a vacation in itself.weeee.... well i better go...im kinda busy...ill post later.
Until next time ~ Sammy


Tuesday, June 14th 2005
22:13:12
Hmmmm...
Well hello again, readers.
I finally have more free time, but not as much as I hoped...I still have to get my temps again..and visit colleges. I took the ACT this weekend..and it was pritty challenging. Summer gym has finally started and one week is down..I have 2 weeks left. Then it will officially be summer. ...its late and I only have a few minutes to write..so ill cut to the chase...iv been working and resting a lot..and trying to have some fun.....but i gotta go so ill write later
~until next time- sammy



Monday, June 27th 2005
00:59:33
Ummm Yeah
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
* Health: Not Sick at least
* Music: Roc
Hello all,
Why is it I am always writing in this really late...or should i say really early in the morning? Something to think about. Anyway summer gym is finally over and I'm not as busy now. Just working when I can..and doing stuff with friends/family. I have two weddings coming up to attend...one is for a cousin and one is for a another cousin? who is older. I don't know..but they are on my dad's side of the family..it should be fun. My friend and her boyfriend are getting close..I can hear the wedding bells also but I'm sure she wouldn't want me to mention her name so you know who you are friend... I just had 16 oz of coffee and I am not a bit tired lol. It was French Vanilla...my favorite. Not much else going on..I have been reading a book or two to keep in practice for the year to come. (Senior Year) woohoo. It's going to be a fun year hopefully because I am turning 18 soon, October 5th. Well, time to get going..Write later.
Until next time
~Sammy



Thursday, October 27th 2005
22:55:44
Life is driving me to insanity!
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today! (yeah right...)
I am 18 ..and in all honesty I have no close friends, probably not even friends at all, outside of my home, which I am constantly reminded is not mine at all. Hard to believe? Yes it is...but for years and years now ..my mother has crushed any ounce of friendship I knew. My first real friend(that i can remember), at the age of 12 was mentally challenged..not that it mattered at all...I loved hanging out with the group of friends we had. Within a year, my mother would not let me go "hangout" anywhere with them, or let her and our friends go anywhere with me. Her reasoning behind this was that her mother knew our neighbors who she THOUGHT knew my father (her ex husband ...aka to her the worst father that ever exhisted) Another reason she used was that I "acted like THOSE PEOPLE" when I was around her. Every time I made a friend..she always found something wrong with them so that I would never have a real friend. I started working at a care center and I made a few friends with whom I worked. There was also a guy that I liked among them, who was honest,kind, and Christian. None of the other things mattered to her though and I wasn't allowed to go with him to the last Hearts Dance in High School. All that mattered to her was that his last name was the same as a ex-girlfriend of my fathers, and also that he was christian, not catholic as I am. I am 18 and I've never had a close relationship with any guys that my mother knew about. Because of this...any guy that I did go out with ended the relationship because I could not spend any time with him because my mother monitored me like a hawk...literly. I NEVER went to the mall to just hang out with friends, have never been to a school dance, never been out on an actual date, never been in love, never wore makeup, never picked out my own clothes. She monitors every second of my live when I am not at school, and if she could she would probably control my life there too. Finally I found a way to make friends.....the only way I know how today...through the internet. Very sad, yes..but what else can I do? ...move out on the little money I have from working?...I am stuck living here until college...which is one winter and one summer away...Recently she has been noticing that I have been online more often than she thinks necessary and she believes that I shouldn't be on the computer at all anymore. The only way I am still connected is because I pay the bill...and my father gave me the computer that I am on today..That didn't stop her for long...she took the d-link that I bought with my own money and decided to hide it just to amuse herself....she gave it back of course...but she just wanted to remind me who was the one with the power to control what I do online..and what I do with my life. When she realized that I was going away to college..she decided to take charge and throw away things..such as my homework...notes...projects that i spend hours working on...Why does someone do this? Is it because she "Cares about me"?... as she explains when she tells me I can't go to a friends 16th birthday party WITH 2 adult supervisors and with no boys...or when I can't go out with a guy I like, who is my age...when I can't have any fun...outside the walls of this house.



Saturday, November 5th 2005
21:58:12
Yeah...what a day...
* Mood: guess
It's a Saturday and since I was off work I decided to go see a movie. I Chose a movie that I saw previews for on TV a little while ago. My mother decided to come along so I looked up the movie time on the net and told her what movie I was going to see and at what time. We went to the movie and of course there was a guy that kept making inappropriate comments through the whole movie that was a "complete jerk" according to my mother. Once we left the theater I had forgotten my purse so I went back and grabbed it and smiled at one of the girls the "complete jerk" was with. I knew the girl from school and a while back she graduated. When we got to the car my mom decided to yell and complain that he was there because "I said that we were going to the movie and at what time and someone is listening to everything we say in the house by satellite". She blamed me for him ..as she said "stalking her" and that I did it on purpose. She said "I am playing games with her and she will not sell me her car and I am not going to college." She said "I knew they were coming to the theater and that I was the one that was telling them where to find her." Well that was a big argument and I told her what I thought of this. I don't know how much I can take of this..I'm tired of arguing with her and being accused of "trying to set her up" for something. The something she is talking about I do not know. Who knows whats going through her head anymore.



Saturday, January 7th 2006
22:14:00
A personal note...
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
* Music: Roc
I still talk to Matt today...after all this time. It's been over three years since I've met him...and 2 since I've written that letter about him, and yet I still feel the same way. For some reason I sill can't tell him how I feel. When I work up the courage to do so, it never seems like the right time and I turn chicken.... He has gone through a few girlfriends in the past 2 years and each time he tells me it's over between them I feel relieved and I want to tell him right then. I fear he will find someone else before I can tell him. We remain good friends.. I guess it is better to have him as a friend forever than to risk telling him how I feel and making it uncomfortable between us if he dosn't feel the same way. Maybe I will change my mind. What if he feels the same way and we are meant for each other? I would feel stupid for keeping my feelings locked up in a little box if that is the case.. Yet maybe I just need to move on...he probably would have said something already if he liked me as more than a friend.... don't you think?



Friday, April 28th 2006
12:15:34
Another Day...
* Mood: guess
* B/F: not today!
* Health: Not Sick at least
* Music: Roc
The school year is coming to an end and I am pritty busy getting ready to graduate from high school. I have decided on the college I am going to and by some miracle, I have received close to a full ride. All that's between me and my life at college is the long summer...but it will come soon. I am planning on training for another position at work so I will be able to pick up twice the hours during the summer. This will help because I am getting a car and I have to pay for insurance and repairs on my own once I go to college. I think the college I chose is a college I will love. Hopefully that is the case. I have already toured the college and talked to the counselors so all that's left is orientation. Yippie. I am planning to live on the campus in the dorms so I will have more freedom to make friends and have some fun...but not too much fun .. lol. It seems that everything might work out after all, but I must get through the summer first.