And it all comes in full circle

So. The simple explanation is that he had wanted to know what she looked like and she said that all she had were pics that were meant for her husband. He said that it was fine and to just send those. You know, I really blame him because he even gave permission for her to send those kind of pics. He gave her his myspace so that she could see what he looked like.

You know, I would think that a married woman would know better than to send a taken man some pics of herself in lingerie. I know that I NEVER send pics of myself in lingerie to any guy and I'm not even married. I love my man too much to send anything to anyone. I don't even let my gay guy friends see my naked or even lesbian friends.

So, he asks why I woke up early and I just told him that I couldn't sleep. He's pissy because we fooled around in bed until eleven so we went to turn in my apps late, making him unable to work out. He's super obsessed over working out. I have no idea why because he looks sexy to me. Oh well. Maybe I'm biased. I wish that he had as strong of a sex drive as he had an exercise drive. I don't know about other chicks but I'm the type of person that wants to be intimate with my man often. Maybe I'm just a horn dog.

We're in the car going home. He tells me to shush and calls his dad. They're talking and talking and after he's done, I ask him who's that. He tells me about what he was talking about with his dad and I ask him if his parents know he has a girlfriend. He says that he hasn't told them yet but that his mom might have a clue. You see, I am a crocheter. I like crocheting because it's very therapeutic to me. All I have to do is concentrate on crocheting and I can stay calm. I have bad nerves thanks to a bad childhood but that's another story. I made him a blanket. I'm 5'6 and the blanket is as long as me and can cover me fully. His mom asked him while back about it and he said that a 'friend' had made it for him. Friend. Do you know how much that kills me? I told my mom and dad that I had an older boyfriend and I moved down to 'Don't mess with Texas' Texas to be with him. I'm a friend? Well she commented, "That's a nice friend!"

I get upset over it and he explains to me that all his gf's in the past have gotten him in trouble financially. He tells me that his parents would not talk to him again if he told them. I don't know. My mom and dad are old school Vietnamese and they're still talking to me. Maybe white parents are different from asian parents. Who knows...I know that I would love my kid no matter who he/she dated and no matter how much trouble they got in. I guess I'll be the annoying mom that keeps calling their kid to make sure they're ok. Hold on. I'm gonna become my own mom! Scary thought.

I calm down and everything's ok again. So we get home and he makes himself a snack. I sit in front of the computer and he tells me that he wants to get on for a while before work. I want to do the computer for him and he grudgingly gives me instructions. I'm not going fast enough because he's a bad direction giver. He basically tells me I'm worthless or rather makes me feel that way and I leave to finish watching Mad Max on the comp in the room. I'm tired of feeling worthless. A)I don't have a job yet. B) He can't tell his parents about me. C) His exes are gorgeous and he still has pics of them. No pics of me. Nope. Not on his myspace, his email, nor his facebook. I don't even know if he kept his pics I sent him on his phone.

Oh yeah, I deleted a chick off his phone this morning when he was asleep. Some chick named Nyla. I hope she wasn't important because she had a fucked up name. Yes, that's the jealousy talking.

He came in and watched Mad Max with him. Made me feel better. His laugh always makes me smile.

The movie ends and we go back out to the computer room to look at movie news and clips from Chucky.

I think I did freak out too much over a few pics. At least that's what my logic is saying. I mean, if he wanted to see how she looked like, why not only send one pic? Why four (6 when I saw them)? It just does not make any sense to me.

The woman in me wants to ask this bitch why she would send these pics to a taken man. Does her husband know?

Oh yeah, she said that she only had those pics. Bullshit. I went on her facebook and I found her ass and she has several pics of her, her husband, and her kids. Lying skank.

This has been the only time I caught him with these kinda pics and this kinda shit. I hope its that last or at least he should be more careful to hide this from me. I'm sweet but I'm not stupid. I've been betrayed before and I refuse to get hurt again. I refuse. I love this man enough that I would spend the rest of my years with him. I'm sure there are guys out there who are sweeter or funnier or handsomer but they can't compare to him in any way. I love him. Period.

Another thing that kills me is that he plays with her everyday on Lotro (Lord of the Ring Online). Bitch's name is Skywyn or some shit like that. What a pretty pretty name. Ugh. Again, the jealously and hurt talking. Gosh, they have potty mouths.

I never thought I would feel this angry or jealous. I really didn't. I wish that I have never snooped. I wish that I could go on in blissful ignorance but I can't. Damn.

Well, here I am again. Back to the beginning. I'm so stupid. Isn't that sad? I know I'm stupid yet I continue to be stupid. But not as stupid as my ex's girl. She knows that he cheats on her ass but she still stays with him. For me, I think that it's three strikes you're out. Everyone deserves three chances to straighten out.