...Another Day

The heart is my book. A book that I keep locked. It wants to open and yet – it does not. For it is a coward. It fears the world, for the world is callous. It fears the world for it found NOONE.
         
It is envious. It envies those who see no PAIN – pain that may seem ordinary, but bottled deep inside its yellowing paged, becomes POISON. Poison that slowly eats at its insides till finally it is no more than a hollow cover, with nothing inside.

Why such PAIN? Out of grief. The grief of losing the person most dearest to you. The grief of realizing (with a shudder) that no matter what you do you will NEVER see them again.

If tears could build a staircase, I would rush right up to heaven and bring you back – Father. But alas, life does not run that way. For fate has other plans.

Fate takes no pity on some. It laughs at their tears and scorns their loneliness. But in the end…it teaches you a lot. And when the teaching is done, fate looks down at the reformed you with glowing pride in its teary smile.

Have I changed? Yes. I have. For the better? I know not. Fate would be a better judge. But I know what I have learned. I learned to laugh and scream on the outside while weeping and wailing on the inside.

Harsh? Not really. Reality is always harsh but the harshness helps you live. To survive, and cling to life. To endure the pain and to slowly – move on.

Six months have I endured. Six months of separation. Agony. Loss. Yet each day shines a little brighter; each sigh comes a little softer and each step…a little easier.

"Rose! Supper time," I jumped at mom's soft voice as it startled me back to reality.

"Coming," said I, closing the diary and forcing a smile as I exited the room. Life is tough. Yes. But I continue to smile. And smile I shall for another day.