Dream-state

         I sat crouching on the grass just below the Meadowbrook parkway bridge and gazed up at the moon.  It shone brightly illuminating the earth even though the light posts did just the same.  The ongoing traffic made noise above and beside me as I just curled into a ball laying my head on the ground  in front of me.  My ears swiveled back in sadness.  A few weeks ago something happened to me.  I’m unsure of what occurred, but I am aware of the fact that this curse is incurable.  My paws rested at either side of my head.  Flexing, my claws retracted.  Thoughts ran rampant through my head.  I thought of how I acted and how my behavior caused me to become…this animal.  This wolf. 

         

         For as long as could remember I have never made friends that easily.  I always sat in the back of the class, if the seats were not assigned, and strayed away from the other people.  Sociality isn’t really my bag.  Aloofness is my cup a tea…coffee really because tea is just rank.  The first thing that I can fully remember is being in school.  It was a Friday night and the last bell of the day was about to sound off.  The clock read 2:11 when it rang and everyone leapt from their seat.  I was the last out of my seat.  A feeling of dread settled in my stomach.  Something bad was going to happen.  Soon.  My feelings jumbled, but the alarm in my gut dissipated as I neared my house. 

         I reached the door and I put the key in the doorknob and unlocked it.  I stepped passed the threshold and walked to the living room to put my backpack on the chair nearest to the front door.  I walked to the office to turn on the computer.  I got it ready for when I would get back in a few minutes.  When I got out I grabbed my keys to go to pick up my nephew at the bus stop.  I picked him when the bus arrived and we went home.  I turned on the cartoons to occupy him till his parents got home.  Curious George was on.  I walked to the office and began to do my homework with Gackt’s Speed Master playing on youtube.com.  I finished and opened up Microsoft word and began to write a bit.  The pocket door that separated the kitchen and the dinning room slid open.  I got up from my seat.  “Athena, Isaiah! We‘re home.”, my mom said. I opened the door and walked over to her.  “Mom.”, I said to get her attention.  She looked up from the hug she was giving Isaiah.  “What is it?”, she asked pulling away and whispering that his dad was home as well.  “You said that I could go to Caroline‘s house today.”,  She gave a stern look and said, “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to go another day.”  I huffed not wanting to get any deeper into the conversation.  I stomped to my room and I slammed the door shut.  She had been saying no every time I said I wanted to sleep over Caroline’s house.

         At diner I was snotty to everyone.  I snapped when people said things to me and yelled at them to leave me alone.  Everything went silent and I ate my food.  After I finished my meal I stormed to my room and pulled so hard the collision echoed.  The remote was in my hand before I landed on the bed.  I turned on the TV and watched it with out paying attention.  The lights flashing across the screen meant nothing to me.  The rapid movement caused my eyes to flutter.  The sound from the television became foggy and distant.  A minute later darkness took me.

         “You wish to be alone, do you not?”, a deep voice resonated around me.  It came from everywhere yet nowhere.  The thudding in my chest intensified and I turned tail and ran.  I ran from the voice, seeking help.  The fear rising in my belly urged me forward.  An apparition appeared before me.  The figure looked like an arctic wolf, but it was larger than an average.  It's eyes were a piercing yellow.  “You wish to be alone…I will grant you this.”  The voice was on the border between a male’s and a female’s.  Automatically the word hermaphrodite came to mind.  The canine was truly beautiful, but held an aura of destruction.  The wolf had a thick coat that switched from onyx to silver and back again.  Sweat beaded on my forehead as my fear became unbearable.  I opened my mouth to speak, but soundless words came out with incoherent mumbling.  Fear ebbed its way to my lungs and I felt as though I couldn’t breath.  The abnormally huge wolf made it’s way towards me at a slow, steady pace.  It stopped before me, pinning me down with it’s yellow gaze.  Words flew out of my mouth as panic caught up with fear.  “Who are you?  What are you? What do you want from me? What are you going to do to me?”, I blurted out all of my fears in one full sweep and became silent.  The gigantic wolf chuckled darkly.  ‘I’m glad my anxiety amuses you.’, I thought sarcastically while impatiently awaiting the answers to my inquiries. “They do indeed.”  Dread filled my being.  I stopped all my thoughts and made my mind as blank as I possibly could.  “You will know soon child.  You wish to be alone?  Now…”, the wolf trailed off and the suspense built to an excruciating extent.  “…so you shall.”

         Pain.  All that registered in my mind was a blinding pain as I flew up in my bed.  The spinal column in my back cracked and throbbed as it bent and realigned.  Blood dripped down my back when a few bones peaked out of the skin to align correctly to create a new form.  I was in agony.  It hurt.  Bones in my face extended outward and created a muzzle in the middle with a wet snout.  The ears that were on the side of my head slid up and out to form a pointed tip.  Fur spurted from every open space on my body.  Bringing my hand to my face in the darkness of my room I gasped.  Each hair on my hand was easily seen.  A paw soon formed in front of my eyes where I once knew a hand to be.  My vision seemed to be in grayscale, but I was able to differentiate a few colors here and there.  The color of my fur was a dark brown that had a sheen of silver mingled in.  As the shock passed, the ache returned.  The muscles in my legs retracted and grew.  The ball of my foot and the heel grew farther apart.  I was screaming now.  I could hardly hear myself, but my mouth was open and the scream sounded distant as if it were not my own.  Soon I no longer heard a scream it was a howl and it reverberated throughout the house.  Yells came from the other side of my door, but were muffle by the barrier.  My mother was in a severe state of panic.  She hollered from the hallway, screeching my name like a wild banshee and banging on the door. 

         My brother broke down the door and everyone rushed into my room.  The change was complete.  When I turned my neck to look at the my parents and my brother looked on in shock.  I wasn’t sure when the lights were turned on, but they made the blood on the bed visible.  My mother became hysterical and broke down, slipping to the floor.  Nelson, my brother, and my dad grew angry.  I tried to communicate with them, but it was in vain.  Yips and barks left my mouth, nothing close to syllables came from my fanged jaws.  They ran toward me with ill intent so I leapt off the bed to jump through the window.  Shards of glass splintered my skin.  I ran as far away as I possibly could in my disorientated state.  I ended up under the bridge at the crossing of Meadowbrook state parkway and sunrise highway when I finally stopped running.  I remained under the bridge for a week. Just watching the cars whiz by.  Road-Rage drivers cursed each other out and flipped each other the bird.

         

         

                A growl sounded and my ears swiveled simultaneously with the growl that irrupted from the depths of my stomach.  I stood defensively before realizing it was my stomach that growled in hunger the first time when it happened again.  I ran up the bridge and I starred at the moon, sat back on my haunches and howled at the big ball of space dust that lit the earth.  Thunder crackled in the night sky and dark clouds swiftly covered my view of the bright sphere.  Goosebumps rose on my skin and the rain began to fall.  It drizzled for a minute then it came down hard.  The rain felt soothing, but began to burn.  Not thinking clearly I ran to north-east.  I stopped when I reached the East Meadow Pond.  Thunder sounded in the night and lightning flashed across the sky.  Waves were created in the pond due to the raging storm.  Lightning shot down into the lake causing water to splash everywhere.  A yelp escaped me and I flew ten feet in the air.  When I touched back down I looked up and saw a flash of light.  The lightning bolt was heading right for me.  Before I could yelp a second time I felt a searing flame engulf me.  Flesh melted off my bones.  I rolled on the ground in an attempt to eradicated the burning flames.  Despite my unsuccessful efforts the flames grew larger as though it used the rain as it’s fuel. 

         Screaming meet my ears and I noticed it was my own.  My family came running to see what was wrong.  I noticed I was in my room again.  Had I ever left?  I was unsure.  The change felt so real.  Sweat ran down my temple to my chin and dripped off to fall to the sheet bunched up in my lap.  My head whipped to the right and I took in the worried faces of my family.  I hopped out of bed and embraced my mom in a bone shattering hug.  “I‘m sorry about earlier.”, my voice was muffled by the fabric of her pajama shirt.  “It’s alright sweetie.”, she replied with a slight chuckle.  I lifted my head from her shoulder.  “Can I go over her house next week?”,  I asked with a perky tone.  She laughed outwardly.  “I‘ll think about it, but you have to play dominoes with us on Sunday.”  My posture became downtrodden.  “I guess I can play one game.”, I mumbled as I got back into bed and snuggled under the covers.  Everyone left my room and the door was shut securely.  Darkness came over me once more and my last thought was, ‘I don’t want to be alone…’  The wolf didn’t visit me again, but I heard a soft, deep chuckle echo in my head as I drifted to sleep for the second and last time that night.