The First Pizza

Prologue: No one knows when or where pizza was first discovered. Was it really the Italians that would begin the creation of this oh so sacred meal. On the other hand, maybe the Americans with their need to put all five food groups in one meal. No one knows ... but we do! On an archaeological dig in Jerusalem, we have come across a text that depicts the first creation of pizza and its many forms. It reads:
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In the beginning there was light. Then God, having a brilliant idea, as usual, baked the first pizza under that light. And it smelled good. And it would for it was God’s creation. Inhaling the succulent smell of the holy pizza, the people asked, “Oh lord, may we have a slice of thine pizza?” And God turned to them and replied

“Nay, this holy pizza is for me and me alone for all are unworthy but me, so I shall be the only one to eat the holy pizza of utter holiness”

This angered the people and they attempted to take the pizza from God. However, as God was almighty, he just lifted the pizza higher out of the peoples reach. Therefore, the people called forth a champion. The people got 72 as they forgot to put the number on the fliers. Of the large sum of people, only six stood out of the crowd and all were chosen. They were, St. Andy, King Hut, Domino Sr., Father John, Howey, a hungry young fellow, and Caesar, (the mini one, not the ruler of Rome, he’s not born yet). The six formed together in their mighty band and deemed themselves the fellowship of the pizza.

They then approached God as one and God said, “What do you want?” And as one voice they exclaimed and pointed,

“OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT BEHIND YOU” Startled God looked behind him to see what was there all the while lowering his hand that held the holy pizza and said,

“What, what where are you pointing?” In his confusion, the fellowship grabbed all six slices and ran like mad screaming “RUN AWAY”

God, realizing what had happened stopped them in their tracks with... um... magic and said, “I SHOULD SMITE THEE FOR WHAT HAS TAKEN PLACE THIS DAY, but that was very good. As a reward you hath proven yourselves worthy of the holy pizza and its holy recipe.”

Relieved and full of joy, the warriors split away never to see each other again and formed their own pizza empires rightfully named after themselves, Andy’s Pizza(Andy), Pizza Hut(King Hut), Domino’s Pizza(Domino Sr.), Papa John’s(Father John), Hungry Howey’s(Howey the hungry) and Little Caesars (mini Caesar). They would forever sell their own versions of the holy pizza but would never again recreate the perfect holy pizza, which is a combination of the six recreations. Father John’s Crust, Andy’s toppings, Mini Caesars Stuffed crust, Domino’s Sauce, King Hut’s Cheese(best selling as he was king), and Howey the Hungry's Seasoning.

The holy pizza will never be recreated again but will always be remembered as being even better than ice cream sundaes and sliced bread. Even lava lamps!