Semester of Change

                                                 Introduction          
         Hi.  My name is Colin, and I'm an eighteen-year old college Freshman.  During my senior year in high school, I didn't care much about finding a college for me.  Even though my advisor wanted me to look at lots of schools I only picked one.  The institution that I picked is close by home.  It's in Grand Junction Colorado and the name is Mesa State College.  In the brochures that I received in the mail during the summer it talked about the academics, extra-curricular activities, and it's a small school (only about 4500 students).  Well, I was accepted.
         Now you know how I picked this college, I will tell you about myself.  My looks?  About 5' 11'', brown hair, same color eyes, good complexion except for these damn brown spots (freckles).  I'm nearsighted so I wear glasses.  My built is o.k. but no muscleman.
         Personality.  I consider myself as nice, with a good sense of humor.  High school was a drag; not many friends, and no girlfriends.  My mother says that I'm shy, but I don't think I am.  I didn't do much partying, probably because I didn't have many friends to party with.
         I'm driving and my mom is in the passenger seat.  She's talking about how excited she is that her baby is going to college.  I have mixed feelings and by the way she's talking it seems like she's the one that is going to Mesa State.
         I turn into the parking lot of Tolman Hall which is the dorm that I was assigned to.  I park the car and we get out and open the trunk to get some boxes out and walk towards the entrance.  People are looking at me in a strange way.  Checking me out.  We're in my dorm room putting stuff away and a guy is standing on the balcony and my mom sees him and being the social person she is she goes out and talks to him then they come back into my room.
         "Colin this is John," my mom tells me.  "John this is my youngest son Colin."
         We say hi and then my mom looks at her watch and says that she has to leave to get back to Aspen with her boyfriend who followed us in his car.  She gives me a hug and kiss and says,  "I'm so proud of you."
         She leaves and I wish I could've gone back with her, but I didn't.  My college career has begun.
                                                *******
         "You can call me JJ.  Your mom told me that you're from Aspen.  I like Aspen it has great skiing.  I'm from Columbus, Ohio."
         The weather outside was gorgeous; sunny, clear blue skies and very warm.  Everyone was wearing shorts as they were outside on the grass playing frisbee and listening to music.
         "Let's go outside and you can meet more people," JJ suggested as they went to his room where he grabbed his boombox and some cassettes.
         They found a spot on the grass, sat down and JJ put in a cassette and he turned the volume to the max so the entire dorms could hear it.  The music was Pink Floyd and they sat there looking around at the other students.  Colin noticed, then stared at this gorgeous girl walking down the sidewalk.  A blonde beauty wearing shorts and a low-cut tanktop.  She walked towards them and stood in front of them.
         "Hi JJ," she said sweetly.
             Colin looked at JJ with a look that conveyed 'You know her?'.
             "Hi Michelle.  Join us," JJ replied.
             She sat down next to Colin and he looked at her.  The long , tan legs, and of course her pretty face, but moving his sight down so he could look down her loose shirt and he saw some of her bra-covered breasts, then he glanced away.
             "Michelle this is Colin.  Colin this is Michelle," JJ said.
             They shook hands and said, "Glad to meet you."
             "JJ can I put in my Steel Pulse tape," she sweetly asked.
             "Sure.  Colin do you like reggae?" JJ wondered.
             "Yeah," Colin lied.
             Michelle transferred the tapes and they kicked back and relaxed for awhile.
         That night Colin went with some people that he didn't even know and they went to a club called the Colorado Social Club.  They went inside and it was dark, music played, people danced, and it was crowded. 
         They found a table and ordered pitchers of beer.  They played quarters, danced, and got wasted.  Colin found a ride back to his dorm with some girl named Tania and a guy called Derek.  They were in the car and Tania said, "Let's get some beer."  They stopped at 7-Eleven and went inside.  Colin bought the beer.  They went back to the dorm, snuck in with the beer and continued to drink.          First day and I met some friends.  I feel like I'm welcome here.  Michelle is hot-looking.  First time I've ever been in a club.
   
9/4/87
         Colin went to his classes and they were pretty easy and after classes he went to Katie's room; a girl that he met at the club that one night.  A guy that he also met at the club, Pat, was also in her room, well actually on the balcony sitting on lawn chairs and next to him was a cooler of Bud and Coors.  They sat there drinking and talking about school so far.
         "That sucks about having a dry campus this year," Katie said as she took a drink of her Coor's.
         "I know.  I mean we're old enough to drink, so we should be able to drink here," Pat replied.
         "I hope we don't get caught," Colin mentioned.
         They finished the cooler of beer and Colin wanted to see if they wanted to go with him to JJ's room but they decided to stay at Katie's room and chill. 
         "Nice hanging out with you guys.  Maybe see you later tonight," Colin said then he left for JJ's.
         Colin knocked on the door and JJ let him in.  It was already around 7 p.m. and the room was packed and the stereo was loud and a movie was playing on the VCR.  There were many people that Colin knew from the night at the club and others that he didn't know at all.  People talked in groups, and others sat in a chair with their heads tilted back while someone else poured tequila and margarita mix into their open mouthes.  Colin went over to JJ and asked him what they were doing.
         "Upside downers," he explained.  "Try it."
         Colin wasn't sure but finally he went and sat down on the chair and tilted his head back.  A few people formed a semi-circle behind Colin and began to cheer.  Someone started to pour the liquid into Colin's open mouth.  When his mouth was full he signaled with his hand to stop, the pourer stopped and Colin went to swallow but a shooting stream of alcohol splattered onto the wall.
         "Check it out," the people said and began to laugh.
         Embarrassed, Colin got up and looked at them then bowed.  Colin was walking away but JJ stopped him and sat him back down in the chair.
         "You're going to do this right," JJ said.  This time Colin swallowed the alcohol without it spewing out of his mouth.  People began to clap and whistle.
         The party kept on going.  People continued to drink and some people were on the balcony watching the dance below.  Colin walked behind Tania and tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around.
         "Hi," Colin said.
         "Hi.  Are you having fun,"Tania asked.   
         "Yes.  Do you want to dance?"
         "Sure," she said.
         They held hands and made their way out of the room and went outside and looked for a spot to dance.  They were about to dance when someone bumped into Tania.  His name was Eric and he was totally wasted and bothering Tania and she told Colin to get him out of there so both of them managed to take him back to JJ's room.
         "I don't want him here," JJ yelled.
         "Well what do you want me to do?" Colin wondered.
         "Put him back in his room."
         Tania left to talk with some of her friends, and Colin tried to take Eric back to his room.  Eric began kicking and screaming and going wild.
         "Someone help me," Colin pleaded in the hallway.  But no one wanted to stop what they were doing.  Eric fell backwards and landed on Colin's knee, luckily Colin wasn't hurt.  Finally someone came over and helped and they dragged Eric into his room and dropped him on the bed, but he fell off.  The person was leaving the room.
         "Where are you going?:" Colin asked.
         "Don't worry.  I'll be back."
         Soon the kid came back with a pair of handcuffs and handcuffed Eric's hands to the bed.
         Colin went back to the party and resumed his drinking.  He saw Tania out on the balcony and walked over to her.
         "Sorry about that dance," Colin apologized.
         "That's o.k.  I'm glad you finally got rid of him."
         "What's that in your hand?" he asked as he saw a small jar.
         "It's some 'rush'.  It gives you an incredible head rush.  Want to try some?"
         Colin paused for a moment then replied, "Of course!"  He took the bottle and put it close to his nostrils.  He breathed in hard and after a few moments it gave him an incredible headache and made him feel lightheaded.
         The party winded down and JJ and Colin were still in JJ's room.  The floor was sticky from the spilled alcohol.
         "Well it's late.  By the way what time is it??" Colin asked.
         "Hell, it's early.  It's only two," JJ replied.
         "In the morning?"
         "Yeah.  Welcome to Sunday."
         "Great party.  I think I'll go get some sleep," Colin said.
         "O.k. See you later."

9/5/87
         Colin went to the softball game and sat with a girl he met at the club, her name was Dianna and they sat under a tree as they watched.  After the game they went back to the dorm and went to her room and talked for awihle, however, the phone rang and she was on the phone for awhile so he waved goodbye and left.
         The football team had a scrimmage that night, and Colin went with some friends: Becky, Stef, Mark, Steve, and JJ.  They watched some of the scrimmage but it wasn’t too exciting.  Colin spotted Dianna and walked down to talk to her.
         “Hey what’s up,” he asked.
         “Nothing.  How about you?”
         “Just watching the game.  I think we’re going to leave soon.  Want to come along?”
         “I don’t think so, but I’ll see you tomorrow.  O.k.?”
         “I suppose.”
         She left, then Colin and his group left.
         Steve, Mark, JJ, and Colin went to the video store across the street, and rented some movies, including a porno, “The World According to Ginger”.  They went to JJ’s room and settled in for an evening of viewing pleasure.

9/6/87
         Nothing happened until 8 p.m. when the group went to the club.  Colin saw Tania there, and he sat next to her and everyone was playing ‘quarters’ and getting drunk.  The club was crowded that night as usual.  The club was loud as usual.  Everyone had to scream to be heard as always.  They didn’t dance to much.  Pitchers were bought left and right.  Beer was starting to spill as they got drunker.  The club closed at 11:30 p.m., and they piled into Colin’s car and JJ drove them to Village Inn.  They went inside drunk and got seated.  They looked at the menu and ordered.  Colin passed out with his head on the table.  When he woke up he saw an English Muffin in front of him.  He looked at Tania sitting beside him and with a puzzled look he asked her what happened.  She whispered in his ear about what happened and he covered his face then began to eat the muffin.
         Back at the dorm the group went their own ways, and Colin went back to his room and went to sleep.  Then a few minutes later he got up and went to the bathroom, found a stall, knelt down and puked for the first time since he’s been in college.

9/7/87
         Hanging out with my crowd.  Meeting lots of people.  Keeping my options open.  Girlfriend or not I have lots of friends.  More popular know than I ever was in high school.  Doing new stuff (going to clubs and doing some drugs.  Staying up late and not as shy).  After a week in a half my life has changed.  It’s not boring, it’s fun, and I’m sure it will get better.

9/8/87
         “Let’s go somewhere to smoke,” Jeff insisted.
         “Where?” they asked.
         “I don’t know.  Let’s drive around, I’m sure we could find a spot,” Jeff answered.
         “Colin.  Can we use your car?” JJ asked.
         “Yeah.”
         “Let’s go!”
         They got into his car and Colin started driving.  Going where they told him.  They were driving by the airport and turned off onto a dirt road that was kind of bumpy.  JJ lit up and the pot smoke floated in the car.  The joint was being passed around and finally they told Colin to stop the car so they could smoke the numerous joints that they brought.  Colin was handed the joint, and tentatively he put it to his lips and sucked in.  He held the smoke in then coughed as he exhaled, and then passed the joint to JJ.  JJ put it to his lips then abruptly took it away.
         “Colin you nigger-lipped it!”
         “Sorry,” Colin apologized as he shrugged his shoulders.
         After awhile Mike drove them back to the dorm and they went to JJ’s room and once again watched another movie.

9/12/87
         Betsy, Becky, Stef, JJ, Mark, Steve, and Colin drove up to the Colorado National Monument to drink and smoke more pot.
         It was peaceful.  The stars were out and I could see the milky film of the Milky Way.  We could see the lights of Grand Junction, and the only noise was the radio, nature and us.  I was hanging around Stef, tempted to say ‘Let’s go for a walk’  But I didn’t want to face rejection again.  It has happened to me many times.  Especially with this girl Sasha during high school.  So I sat next to Stef making small talk, drinking my Coors Extra Gold, and looking at the millions of stars.  Later I laid a few feet from the edge of the canyon, and I stared at the lights of GJ, and I was thinking and becoming depressed.  Thinking about the deaths of my uncle Keith and cousin David from an auto accident a month ago.  Thinking about not having a girlfriend and I was depressed.  Looking at Betsy and JJ making out and knowing 99 percent sure that he is going to get laid tonight.  Knowing that I probably won’t have a girlfriend to lay.  Then looking at my group knowing that I have friends to be with made me feel a little better.

9/13/87
         Colin and Steve went to JJ’s room and they left to go to Michelle’s campus apartment.  They went inside and Tania, Lavinia, and Betsy were there also.  JJ pulled out the bag of buds and rolled several joints.  They passed it around, and Colin sat on the couch next to Michelle.  He was stoned and nonchalantly put his arm around her.  After drinking and smoking they went to the club.
         The club wasn’t crowded as it has been the previous times.  They ordered three pitchers right away and sat at a table in the back.  They drank and danced.  JJ danced with Betsy, Steve with Lavinia, and Colin danced with Michelle and Tania.  After dancing to four straight songs they went back to the table and continued to drink.
         Time passed and the bouncer came by and told them to finish their beers because the club was closing in ten minutes.  Each of them refilled their glasses and drank nonstop until they finished the alcoholic beverage because they didn’t want to waste any money.  They left the club and drove back to the dorm.
         “Let’s see if Matt is home,” JJ suggested.
         They went to Pinon Hall, the dorm that Matt is in and knocked on Matt’s door.  The door opened and they went inside.
         “Hey JJ,” Matt said with his French accent.  They stayed in the room for awhile then Matt grabbed his bag of weed and they left to get stoned.
         The two cars turned off into some woods off of 12th Avenue, they parked and began to smoke.  Colin looked at Michelle in the other car, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her.  He looked at her pretty face and moved down the rest of her body.  She looked back and smiled at him, but Colin did more than look, he stared.  Michelle turned away.
         They finished most of the bag and everyone was stoned out of their minds.  JJ drove Colin’s car back and Colin went to bed at 1:30 a.m.
         Michelle and I were looking at each other and we got along.  But she is beautiful and a volleyball player.  Will she like me?  She says ‘I love you’, but I know it’s only platonic or is it?  The triangle between JJ, Betsy, and Michelle is still going on.  Betsy loves JJ, JJ likes Michelle, Michelle likes everyone.  I hope my body doesn’t get fucked up from all of the ‘grass’.  Might go camping on top of the Mesa this weekend.

9/16/87
         Michelle went to JJ’s room and knocked on the door and he let her in.
         “Hi Michelle.”
         “Hi JJ, I have to talk to you.”
         “About what,” he asked.
         “Your friend Colin.”
         “What about him,” JJ wondered.
         “He’s been hitting on me and I would like him to stop.  That night at the apartment and when we all got stoned.  He had his arm around me and kept looking at me,” she said.
         “So,” JJ replied.
         “Well JJ I like him as a friend.  I don’t want him to get the wrong idea thinking that he and I will become an item,” she explained.
         “And you want me to tell him for you, right.”
         “Yes.”
         She hugged him and then left.
         Colin was in his room and the door was open.  He was at his desk studying Mass Media in America when JJ walked in.
         “What’s up Colin?”
         Nothing much JJ.  What’s new with you?”
         “I talked to Michelle a few minutes ago and she wants me to talk to you.”
         “About what,” Colin wondered.
         JJ sat on the bed.  “She told me that she thinks you were hitting on her the other night when we were at her place and when we got stoned.  She said that she wants you to stop.  She just wants to be friends.”
         “Wait a minute!  I never hit on her that night, but if she thinks I did that’s fine with me,” Colin retorted.  “I’m going to talk to her sometime and straighten things out.”
         JJ got up and patted him on the shoulder.  “See you later,” JJ said as he left the room.
         I was stoned and I felt free to do whatever I wanted.  So I put my arm around her that night, big fucking deal!  She’s nice and we’re friends that’s all!  Now that I think about it I wish it could develop into something more.
         That night JJ, Steve, and Colin went back to Michelle’s apartment they knocked on the door and Michelle let them in. 
         “Hi guys,” she said.
Colin and Michelle looked at each other with a mixture of a fake smile and a frown.  Debbie and Lavinia were also there. 
         The guys sat at the table and while JJ rolled the joints the girls were on the couch watching tv.  Colin and Michelle didn’t sit by each other and they didn’t talk to each other.  In fact they didn’t even pass the joints to each other.  It was late and they were getting ready to leave.  Colin and Michelle managed to say, bye and goodnight.

9/17/87
         It was 9 a.m. and Colin knocked on Michelle’s door, she opened it and let him in.  She just got out of the shower since all she had on was a towel on her head and one wrapped around her body.
         “Hi Colin.  What do you want,” she politely asked.
         “I have the class schedule catalogue that you needed,” Colin said then set it on the table.
         “Oh yea.  Thanks.”  She started to walk back to the bathroom, but suddenly Colin said.
         “I have to talk to you about something,” he said nervously.
         “What,” she wondered.
         “Us,” he said quickly.
         She looked at him with a confused expression.
         Colin continued.  “JJ told me that you think I was making moves on you a couple of days ago.  I want you to know that I never made moves on you.”
         Michelle retorted, “And I want you to know that I never talked to JJ about us.  In fact the first time we met I knew that we were going to be good friends.  That’s all.”
         “I know.  That’s what I told him.  Well I better be going.  Bye.”
         “Bye,” Michelle said as Colin left.
         Later in the day Colin went to JJ’s room and talked to him about Michelle.
         “Michelle denied everything and said that you two never talked about me and her,” Colin said.
         “Colin.  She’s the person that’s lying.  She told me about you hitting on her and that she wants you to stop,” JJ said.
         “I will stop but I didn’t start this situation in the first place.”
         It was around 7 p.m. and Colin and some other people were in JJ’s room having a little birthday party for Becky.
         “Want some tequila?” Jeff asked Colin.
         “You bet!”
         Jeff started pouring and he and everyone else were talking and having a good time.  Good naturely the laughed and teased Becky about her age.
         “Shit,” Jeff blurted.  “The tequila overflowed.  Sorry dude,” he told Colin.
         “Don’t worry,” Colin said and smiled.  Colin took the cup and while everyone watched him he drank the whole cup without stopping.  His face turned cherry red, and tears started to stream down his face.  Colin grabbed a wedge of lemon and sucked on it for a long time to get rid of the burning aftertaste.  They all applauded and stared at Colin in amazement.
         Mike, Jeff, Steve, Becky, Betsy, Stef, JJ, and Colin went out to the parking lot and got in Colin’s and Mike’s cars, and with a couple of six packs they drove to the Colorado National Monument.  Stef and Jeff were in the back of Mike’s truck, and as they drove Colin looked at the two of them with their arms around each other and cuddled to stay warm.  They were talking and laughing.  Colin felt depressed because he started to like Stef, hoping that they would go out sometime.  But know it didn’t seem possible because of Jeff.
         They stopped at Red Canyon and found an area to sit and drink, smoke and talk.  Betsy with JJ, Becky talked with Mike, Stef sat close to Jeff while they talked, and Steve went below to sit under the little cave.  Colin sat on top of the cave.  The music played, and Colin stared at the lights of GJ.  Once in awhile he looked up at Stef and Jeff, hoping that they got in a fight or became “bored with each other, but they still had their arms around each other and having a good time.
         I think I lost her (Stef) even though I never had her in the first place.  I drank and drank washing away my sorrows of not having a girlfriend.  Cindy in my English class is nice, and so is Jackie from Speech.  In fact, Jackie invited me over to her apartment and we spent some time together, but didn’t do anything sexual.

9/19/87
         The weather outside was beautiful.  The sun high in the sky sended its heat to warm the earth.  The sky was blue with no clouds in the sky.  Tania and Betsy came over to see JJ, and he wasn’t in his room, so they knocked on Colin’s door and he let them through to the balcony.  They laid out getting sun and Betsy was wearing a revealing swimsuit, and Colin noticed her breasts practically hanging out of the suit.  Moments later, JJ showed up and they all went into his room to drink and watch another movie.
         Around 8 p.m. they went to the club and when they got there someone in the group forgot their I.D. so they got in the car and drove around town.  JJ still had some pot so they smoked a few joints then went back to JJ’s room and began to watch “Animal House”.  There was a bunch of noise coming from the tv lounge and Colin went to see what was going on.  A bunch of people were in there and Colin asked someone next to him, “What happened?”
         “Some girl did a stiptease.”
         “Who?”
         “Her.”
         Colin looked at the girl who was clothed that the guy was pointing to, and he saw a blonde, decent-looking girl and it looked as if she was crying, but maybe she wasn’t, because she had her arms around some geeky kid.
         “He’s lying!” she answered back.
         “Whatever,” Colin said as he shook his head and went to his room.  He saw Steve passed out on Colin’s roommate’s bed, who is never there.  Then Colin went to sleep.

9/21/87
         The phone rang and Colin answered it.
         “Hi,” his mom said.
         “Hi mom.”
         “How’s college?  Are you having fun?”
         “Yes.  My classes are pretty easy and my schedule is pretty light.  I’m having lots of fun.  I like my friends and we do a lot of stuff together.”
         “Did you try pot,” she bluntly asked.
         “Yes.  Once,” Colin said accidentally.
         “Colin you shouldn’t do drugs!  It’s bad for you,” she yelled, then continued,  “I don’t want you to do anymore drugs!  Do you understand?”
         “Yes.  Anyways I didn’t like it,” Colin replied as he closed his eyes and shook his head in disgust.”
         “I’m trusting you.”
         “I know.”
         “Call me in a couple of days.  Bye.”
         They hung up, and Colin leaned against the wall and shook his head.
         Once I hung up with my mom I knew that I lied to her about not doing anymore pot.  I’m not addicted to it.  It’s become a habit.  There’s a clear cut division of addicted and habit.  Addicted is when you do it everyday.  On the other hand a habit is only a couple days a week.  Most people who are addicted only said it was a habit.  For me it’s ONLY a habit.  For what was only weekend activity is now sometimes during the week.  I’m only going to do pot, and as a habit.  I think we’re getting “shrums” for the weekend.

9/23/87
         JJ, Steve, Pat, and Colin were in Colin’s room and it was 1:30 a.m.  The air popcorn popper on the floor and making some popcorn.
         “Drinking is great,” Pat said.  “What else quenches your thirst and allows you to have a good time at the same time.”
         “The club is o.k. but I’ve been to better ones in Columbus,” JJ said.
         “Did I tell you that I popped some high school chick last weekend,” Steve asked.
         “No,” they answered.
         “Well, I was over at some guy’s apartment and there were four girls and three of us.  We were drinking and playing ‘quarters’ and this girl and I were looking at each other alnight.  Then finally I said to myself fuck it and I went over to her.  The next thing I knew we were in the bedroom humping like wild animals.  It lasted a couple of hours nonstop and she was gorgeous,” Steve boasted.
         They nodded and smiled with envy and gave Steve some high-fives.
         “I feel like driving somewhere some weekend.  Let’s do a roadtrip, maybe Aspen if my dad let’s me have the condo,” Colin suggested.

9/25/87
         Colin, JJ, and some other people went to a deserted place by the club and got stoned.  After they finished the went to the Friday Afternoon Club at the club.  They went inside and ordered a few pitchers and began to drink.  They just sat there drinking and watching the other people dancing.  About three hours later, they were trashed out of their minds, so they drove to Wendy’s for something to eat then went to Steve’s room and went on the balcony and smoked once again and after the joints were done they just sat on the balcony.
         I’m so zoned.  Staring at everything with a fixed stare, and all it is is a blur.  Laughing like crazy at the slightest thing.  It’s so peaceful.  Feeling loose, no worries about school or even girls.  I’ve lied to my mom once again because I smoked.
         Colin was back in his room when some guy named JT barged in and grabbed Colin’s roommate’s skateboard.
         “What the hell are you doing?” Colin questioned.
         “Riding the skateboard down the hall,” JT replied with a sneer.
         JT came back still on the skateboard and talked to some girls.  Colin bent down and yanked the skateboard out from his feet.  JT fell against the wall and began to fight.  Even though JT was bigger than Colin, Colin’s adrenaline kicked in and the fight was pretty even, then someone broke it up.  Colin and JT angrily looked at each other, then JT left and Colin left the dorm and saw Betsy and Neill.
         “What’s going on,” Colin asked.
         “Sondra broke up with me,” Neill said sadly.
         “What’s new with you,” Betsy asked.
         “I just got in a fight with JT.  He tried to steal my roommate’s skateboard.”
         They walked towards 7-Eleven.

9/26/87
         The group went to the club at 7:30 that evening thinking that the beach party was going to start soon, but then they found out that it wasn’t going to start until 10:30.  They found a table by the side of the dance floor, with the usual routine in effect: spend all your money drinking and have fun drinking it by playing drinking games like ‘quarters’ and ‘thumper’ and to work off some of the calories from the drinking go dance once in awhile.
         Finally 10:30 rolled around and the beach party started.  The wet shorts contest was first and it was sick seeing fat white guys wearing nothing but their underwear.  The club was packed and people stood on tables to get a better look at the stage.  The bikini contest was next and Colin stood on a very unstable table so he put his hands on people’s shoulders to steady himself.  He could see pretty good, but wished that he was closer.  People applauded for their favorite bikini wearing gal and a winner was announced.  Last but not least, the wet t-shirt contest started.  The cold water was dumped on the contestant’s identical thin white t-shirts and each contestant moved in front of the stage while sensually rolling the fabric up their torso but not to far.  Eventually some contestants did go all the way- including Stef!  Stef was in the contest and everytime she pulled the shirt all the way up!  Colin along with everyone else saw Stef’s tits and they were superb!
                                                 ******
         
         Friday afternoon arrived and with the use of Mike’s truck the group went to FAC.  They went inside and ordered three pitchers then went outside to the volleyball courts and sat at a table.  Some of the kids but Colin decided to drink instead. 
         After awhile the volleyball game ended and they went inside and found a table.  JJ, Mark, Matt, and Colin sat down and looked at the empty dance floor.  Steve was at the bar where he ordered a pitcher for himself and he sat and drank, then a girl sat next to him.  They talked and laughed.  She sat next to him with her arms around him.  They didn’t kiss or anything, she just flirted.  The two of them began a game of ‘quarters’ and Colin watched them for a few moments then he left the table and went to the bar next to Steve.
         “Hey, what’s going on?” Colin asked as he looked at Steve.
         “Steve and I just playing a game of quarters,” the girl said.
         “Colin this is Kristi.  Kristi this is Colin.”
         The two of them exchanged “hello’s” and Colin drank while he looked at Kristi and noticed that she was the so-called stripper of Tolman Hall TV lounge.  He looked her over while she played ‘quarters’ with Steve.  He saw her blonde hair, bluish-green eyes, good complexion with a hint of too much makeup.  Next was her body: slender with medium sized breasts.
         The hours went by and their money ran out.  They found the people in their group and left the club.  Kristi tagged along also and they went back to Tolman Hall.  They went into JJ’s room, shut the door and JJ opened his mini fridge and passed Corona’s to everyone.  There was a knock on the door and carefully Steve opened the door and Tania came in.  She sat on JJ’s bed and pulled out a plastic baggie out of her coat.
         “Here they are.  Three each for you, Steve and Colin,” she said to JJ.  JJ poured the ‘shrums’ on his desk and inspected them and divided them into thirds.  The three of them took their portion.
         “What do you do with these?” Colin asked.
         “You chem them and then swallow,” JJ answered.
         “Cheers,” they said then put them in their mouthes.
         The room was crowded as a few more people came in after awhile and the noise was louder.  “Trading Places” was playing on the VCR, while Dire Straits was jamming on the CD player.  People talked and a couple of girls started to dance on what little space there was in the small, cramped dorm room.  Colin had his mini tape recorder, and he was recording a conversation with Kristi.  Steve kneeled in front of the wastebacket and was talking to himself.  Then he said out loud so everyone could hear. 
         “Check it out!  The Ritz cracker on the box is doing a tap dance!”  He pointed and stared then he put his head further into the wastebasket and puked.
         Someone knocked on the door and JJ asked, “Who is it?”
         “Security.”
         Everyone in the room hid their beers.  Hid them behind the closet and underneath the beds.  JJ opened the door, and a security guard and the RA came in.  Colin made his way to the balcony and opened his sliding glass door and went back into his room.
         JJ got busted I hope he’s not in too much trouble  I had to get out of there I’m lucky my room is where it is.  I’m trippin on these shrums will I be okay It feels like there are bugs on me so my hands are brushing my arms, chest, legs, and head get off of me.  Dad I’ve heard you and Tana having sex you probably thought I was asleep but I heard her moans. Stef I want you you’re so hot I want to have sex with you and make you moan in ecstacy like Tana.  I’m looking at the neon tunnell on my wall and I feel like I’m being drawn in Is this the tunnell of love or a tunnell to hell grades are fine dad let me have the condo.  Sally, Susan I will visit you don’t be angry with Brian he didn’t mean to he thought the tracks were clear but they weren’t and the train hit the van totalled.

         He woke up the next morning and sat up in bed trying to remember last night and what happened.  But he couldn’t.  Then he looked around his room; the light was off and papers scattered on the floor.  His sheets barely on the bed, and a drawer to his small, wooden file cabinet was open.  By his pillow was the tape recorder with a tape in it.  Even though it was off it was apparent that it was used last night because the tape had to be rewound.  His radio was on softly and the blue digits of his clock radio showed 11:00 a.m. He looked back at the papers on the floor, then he picked them up and looked.  It was five pages front and back of what looked like scribbles.  He tried to read it and though he had some trouble he read all of it.  He was puzzled and horrified of what he read and it began to trigger his memory and he remembered some events from the previous night.  He remembered Kristi.  He remembered the party in JJ’s room.  He remembered the RA and security guard that busted JJ for alcohol.  Finally he remembered eating the “shrums”.  What he read was the effects of the “shrums”.  He wrote down his “trip” last night and this morning he read it.  Colin threw the pages in anger and wondered “What has happened to me!?”
         I got some tests back yesterday.  In Fiction I got a B and in Mass Media I got a B on a bitch of a test.  But in English I got a D.  I remembered some stuff from last night.  I want to see Kristi again and soon!
         It was Saturday and they went to brunch at the cafeteria.  They got their food and sat at a table.
         “Steve you should’ve seen yourself last night,” JJ told him.
         “Why?  I was fine.  I knew what was going on,” Steve replied.  JJ shook his head.  “Just because I saw a cracker doing a tap dance and puked on it doesn’t mean that I was fucked up.”
         “Those shrums sucked.  I didn’t trip at all,” JJ remarked.
         “They worked for me.  I was so messed up I thought I would never get out of my trip,” Colin boasted.
         They finished eating and left.  It was a nice day.  The sun was out and it was kind of warm.  They went into Colin’s room and tried to think of something to do when someone knocked on the door and Kristi came in and Colin smiled as he was happy to see her.  She sat down next to Colin on his bed and after awhile the group decieded to go up to the Colorado National Monument.  JJ got his blaster and some tapes and they used Mike’s truck.  JJ and Steve were in the cab of the truck while Dean, Mark, Kristi and Colin sat in the bed.  Kristi was next to Colin and everyone was laughing as they were listening to the tape recorder and hearing the conversation from last night.  JJ parked on the side of the road and they grabbed their stuff and found a nice level spot where they had a view of more of the mountains and canyon.  All of them grabbed a beer and JJ put a Cat Stevens tape in the blaster.  They guys took off their shirts so they could get a tan.  Kristi took off her shirt but left her black lace bra on and the guys look at her not knowing what to say or how to look.  Soon after Kristi left to find a spot of her own away from the guys.  They were drinking, getting some sun, listening to some music and staring at the canyon and city below.
         Time went by and they had to get back to campus, because Colin was to have dinner with his mom who was in town visiting a friend.  Kristi came back and still only had her bra on with part of her nipples exposed then she put her shirt back on.  They grabbed their stuff and went back to campus.
         
         Had dinner with my mom and some of her friends.  It was o.k. but I was bored.  Planning in my mind for later tonight maybe I’ll be back in time to party.  Earlier today when I was shopping with mom I still had side effects from the “shrums”.  I don’t think she noticed and I don’t think she smelled stale pot smoke in my car.  Beginning to like Kristi more.  I was surprised that she only had her bra on.
         
         Colin got back from dinner around 8:30 and his mom and friends went back to Aspen.  Colin went to JJ’s room and most of the group was there.  They decided of going to the club but they wouldn’t head out until 9:30.  Colin mentioned that he needed a haircut sometime, so Kristi volunteered to give him one before they would leave for the club.  At first Colin was skeptical but then he thought to himself the more time with her the better so he agreed and Kristi asked JJ if he a had a shaver and he gave her a multi-functional electric razor.  Colin and Kristi went to Colin’s room and he sat in a chair and he looked at her.  She looked good.  Her hair was down and wavy, her face was great (not to much makeup) he smelled her sweet perfume, and when she got close to him, he moved forward a little so he could casually rub against her.  By now he thought this was the girl for him.  They talked and laughed during the haircut and soon the haircut was over, but she wasn’t.  She put some mousse in his hair and picked out an outfit for him, and they decided that he wouldn’t wear his glasses tonight.  Soon everyone got together and they went to the club.
         They got a table on the upper level and got their pitchers of beer.  Kristi sat next to Colin.  They talked and looked around.  Colin got JJ’s attention and told him, “Kristi is going to Aspen with us next weekend.  I want her to.”
         “That’s cool,” JJ answered.
         A game of ‘quarters’ started at the next two tables and JJ went over to join in.
         “I’m going downstairs to see what’s going on,” Kristi told Colin as she patted his shoulder.
         “Don’t be long,” he said.
         He watched her go down the stairs and kept his eye on her until he lost sight of her in the crowd.  Colin then looked at the ‘quarters’ table.  About ten people were playing and Colin noticed a good-looking blonde and winked, then turned away.  Suddenly Colin got a little depressed, maybe it was because he didn’t totally trust Kristi.  He knows that she’s a big flirt.  Well anyway he stared straight ahead looking at the people drinking, dancing and socializing below.  He stared for a long time- thinking.

         This club is getting old.  It’s the same routine, same idea everynight.  Males and females come here get drunk hoping that when they leave they won’t be alone.  They dress nice.  Usually wearing clothes that are in style at the time.  They put on cologne and perfume so when they are in the club, maybe some guy or gal will smell the scent, find where it’s coming from and ask the person to dance.  So throughout the night many, many people find a mate, well at least a temporary mate.  To show their attraction for each other they dance and shake around.  At least move in sensual ways, females gyrating their hips and males thrusting their body towards the female.  Hoping that the alcohol will mess up their minds so they could go to his or her place and do the dance (gyrating and thrusting) laying down in bed.
         I hope she isn’t flirting with anyone.

         Colin got up and left to go downstairs to find her.  He managed to get to the game room and he saw her playing Pac-Man.  He snuck up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder.
         “I’m doing good, watch,” she said excited.  He watched the game and cheered her on and after the game they went back upstairs. 
         He filled their glasses with the beer and then said, “Aspen is going to be fun.”
         “I’m excited too,” she replied.
         “I’m glad my dad is letting us have the condo to ourselves.”
         “I have to go to the bathroom,” she said then got up and left.
         Colin moved to the other table and joined in the game of ‘quarters’  He got pretty wasted and forgot about Kristi but maybe she didn’t come back up.  The club was getting ready to close and the DJ said over the loudspeaker “last call for alcohol”.  There was only ten minutes before the club was going to close and the had five pitchers with most of them half full.  Someone would grab a pitcher drink some, then pass it around until they were finished.  They finished each pitcher like this.
         They left and Colin found Kristi, and the two of them along with five other’s  piled into someone’s car since JJ took Colin’s car earlier because some girl got alcohol poisoning and he took her back to the dorms since he had Colin’s keys.  Kristi laid across some people, including Colin.  Her upper body was by Colin and he stroked her hair and moved his hands up and down her arms.  They were back at the dorm, and Colin took hold of Kristi as they went back to Tolman.  Both of them weaved back and forth then playfully they raced each other to Colin’s room.  His roommate was not in and they laid down on Colin’s bed.  Kristi got up and saw a Led Zeppelin cassette and she put it in the blaster and turned it on softly.  Colin turned off the light and the glow in the dark universe on the ceiling shined brightly.  It illuminated the room and Colin undressed down to his underwear.  He laid next to Kristi, rubbing her body.  He put his face on her’s and lightly kissed her.  He looked at her then went to bed- in his bed, and she passed out on the other bed.  Eventually she woke up and left.
         That night I was with her!  I felt like it was boyfriend/girlfriend, but it wasn’t she didn’t want it.  I had to be with her at all times, because she was mine.  I took care of her.  I should’ve fucked her, but I didn’t.  Maybe it was because I didn’t want to rush things, but since I’m eighteen and still a virgin, this weekend in Aspen we will do it.
         The days went by and Kristi and Colin were almost inseperable.  They were in each other’s rooms talking and looking at stuff.  They ate together and went shopping together.  The two of them got along, but sometimes Colin thought twice about his feelings when she talked about astrology and other weird stuff.  But Colin because of his need to be loved, filtered the weirdness out, and kept the normalcy in.  Whenever he looked at her body, he kept on thinking about the upcoming weekend, and how he may get laid for the first time.  Sometimes he would draw the curves of her body in his mind, and after he drew he would smile.
         It was some day of the week maybe a Wednesday or Thursday and he was in a bad mood.  Maybe it was because of his classes and grades, or maybe since he found out that Kristi had a boyfriend at the high school.  Perhaps it was a combination of both.  He didn’t party that night, so he tried to study in his room, but there were too many distractions that took his concentration away from his studies.  Every noise he heard he cussed at himself.  First he cussed about the noise in the dorm, then he cussed about Kristi.  He stopped studying and went to bed.  It was midnight but he couldn’t sleep.  People were running in the halls and he could hear people in JJ’s room and Pat’s room on the other side.  Colin became irritated and became very angry.  He got out of bed and paced back and forth, hitting the walls, and he began to hyperventilate.  After a few moments he was alright and went back to bed, but he could still hear the noise, so he pulled the sheets over his head and tried to sleep, but too many thoughts filled his mind.
         Goddamn it!  Kristi has a fucking high school geek of a boyfriend!  She’s a fucking slut!  I don’t even know why I like her!  School sucks!  My grades are o.k. but the fucking dorms!  Can’t even sleep!  Grand Junction sucks!
         Finally Friday arrived and at 2 p.m. JJ, Matt, Steve, Heidi, Kristi, and Colin got in his car and drove for a party weekend in Aspen.  They got to the condo and put their stuff inside.  They hung around awhile then everyone except for Kristi went to the high school football game,  They watched the game and Colin told people that he knew that there was going to be a party at the condo.  When the game ended they went back to the condo.  Kristi was laying down on the floor with a blanket coverng her.  A fire was going in the fireplace, and Colin went over to Kristi and laid down next to her.
         “How are you?” he asked.
         “I think I’m getting sick,” she said softly.
         He put his arm around her, and laid his head on her shoulder.  They watched tv, and drank and smoked some bowls.  Heidi and JJ were on the couch kissing, and Colin and Kristi were also on the couch next to each other.  Steve and Matt wre at the kitchen table smoking more bowls.  Steve was wasted and went downstairs to a bedroom.  Colin took out his camera and took some pictures.  A few minutes later, Kristi went downstairs also.  Colin thought she was only going to be a minute, but after awhile she didn’t come back.  Colin got pissed as a result of this and that no one has shown up for the party.  Ke kept on looking at the stairs leading downstairs.  He went downstairs, and the door to the bedroom was closed and the light was off.  Colin’s imagination was running wild and he put his ear to the door.  He heard some noises and it was Steve and Kristi.  Colin moved away from the door, then looked back tempted to walk in on them but he decided not to.  His anger grew and he went bacl upstairs, grabbed his coat and opened the door. 
         “I’m going for a walk,” he stated.
         JJ looked at him and said, “Ok.”
         Colin was outside and started to walk.  He found an open, grassy spot and laid down while staring at the stars.
         How could Steve do this to me!  He knows that I want to go out with her, so why fuck her!  Maybe I should’ve known when we drove up this afternoon.  They were sitting next to each other in the backseat.  Laughing.  Teasing each other.  Plain, goddamn flirting!  My weekend that i thought I was going to get laid.  I hate her!
         He got up and went back to the condo.  He sat on the couch, and Steve and Kristi were still downstairs.  He couldn’t handle it.  He went downstairs and walked in on them.  Immediately he looked at them on the bed.  Steve was laying down with his shirt off, and Kristi laying down with her nightgown on and the tv was on.
         “Hi,” she said casually. 
         Colin sat on the bed.  Steve was passing out, but trying not to, but eventually he did.
         “Can I talk to you?” Colin asked.
         “Sure,” Kristi answered.
         “I wanted this weekend to be perfect for me and you.”
         “What do you mean,” she wondered.
         Colin paused then shook his head and sighed.  “I wanted for us to have a good time, and I was going to ask you if you would go with me.  But now after you and Steve screwed!  What’s the use?”
         She grabbed his arm and they faced each other.  She had a bewildered expression on her face.
         “First of all, Steve and I did not make love.  Second of all I’m trying not to hurt your feelings, but I don’t like you enough to be your girlfriend.  When I gave you your haircut I sensed that you wanted something more.  Then you said something that made me feel better.  You said you thought of me as your little sister,” Kristi said.
         They went into the next room and Colin laid down on the hyda-bed.  Staring at the ceiling not believing what she was telling him.
         “I don’t remember saying anything about you being my little sister!” Colin replied loudly.  He lightly grabbed her and threw her down on the bed.  “I love you!  I want more!”
         She managed to get up and started to go into the other room, but Colin pulled her away and towards the stairs.
         “You’re going up to the bedroom with me!”
         “No I’m not!  Colin let me go,” she yelled scared.
         He held onto her and kissed her.  She was pushing away from him.  Then Colin let go.
         “Fuck it!” he yelled as he went upstairs.
         The weekend was so-so.  Had fun, went into town, got to see some friends.  But the blowup with Kristi got me down.  Found out that she stole Matt’s pot.  I can’t stand her anymore.
         They got back to Mesa and from then on Colin didn’t talk to Kristi anymore.  Colin got some pictures back a few days later, and the pictures were from the weekend in Aspen.  There was a picture of only Kristi she was sitting at a table and she was smiling.
         One night a month later JJ and Colin got their copies of the picture.  Each of them had a lighter and burned the pictures of her.  Colin burned his so it folded over and was black, but you could still tell who it was.  Then he got a small piece of paper and wrote #1 BITCH.  He taped it to her door, but later that night he found out that she already went back to California forever.  The bitch is finally gone is all he thought to himself.
                                       ************
         Colin was studying for some tests the next day, then there was a knock at the door.
         “Come on in,” Colin said.
         JJ entered and asked, “Hey what’s up?”
         “Studying.”
         “Oh come on!  Not tonight?  We’re going to party!”
         Colin looked at his books, then back at JJ, then back at his numerous pages of notes, then he closed his book, turned off his desk light, grabbed his coat and left with JJ.
         The people with JJ were in the hall, and all of them headed to the parking lot and got in different cars, and followed one another to someone’s house.  The house was near the college but not to close so it was smart they drove. 
         The went into the house.  The house wasn’t much.  When you walk in there’s the living room with one chair and a small sofa.  There were nine people so a few of them had to sit on the floor.  Colin sat on the floor, in a corner, against the cold, dirty wall.  He looked at these “new” kids.  They had black, spiked hair and wore black leather jackets, and old torn clothes.  Colin heard the punk music coming from the blaster in the bedroom.  They smoked a few bowls and afterwards tney went into the bedroom, but Colin stayed in the living room.  He moved his eyes around this dump.  He noticed the ugly, homemade art hanging on the wall.  He noticed the big, black furnace trying to heat this small space.  Then he looked down at the dirty, stained carpet with pipes and bongs laying around.  He looked straight ahead at the old-fashioned dirty kitchen that was probably infested with roaches.  Then Colin looked up at the dull ceiling with a small lightbulb trying to brighten the room. Then he closed his eyes.
         I hear them talking in the bedroom, but I can’t understand what they’re saying because of the music.  I don’t want to be here.  I don’t like this place or even the “new” people.  Though I know one of them because we went to high school together.  I don’t get along with them, but I’m trying to like them.  They’re JJ’s friends, so now they’re friends of mine also.  Whether I like it or not.
         JJ emerged from the bedroom and Colin got up from the floor and JJ told them “Bye, see you guys tomorrow.  Thanks for inviting us over.”
         Colin and JJ left and got in the car, then drove away.
         “Did you have a good time,”  JJ asked.
         “Yeah it was a blast.”
         JJ with a bullshit expression on his face looked at Colin.
         It was 10:30 that evening and Colin went back to his room and opened his books.  He had to read a couple of chapters but he couldn’t concentrate because he was to stoned so he went to bed.
         Colin was walking to class the next morning and he looked at every girl that he walked past.  It was as if he had a radar.
         Ever since the bitch left school, the need of finding a girlfriend had been on my mind more and more!  I look at every girl I see that is halfway.  I imagine fucking them and how they would say that I gave them their best fuck ever!  But it’s only my imagination that’s fucking the girls.  I haven’t fucked anyone yet!
         He went to his class and listened to the lecture and tried to take some notes.  He also daydreamed for awhile and soon the class was over.  He got his books and checked out the girls in the hall, then went to his next class.  Cindy sat at the desk next to him, and they talked, then stopped when the professor entered the classroom.  For another hour Colin listened, wrote down some lecture notes, and daydreamed (about fucking Cindy).  The hour went by and Colin followed Cindy so he could talk to her, but he lost her in the crowd of the hallway.
         Another Friday night had come and some of the group didn’t know what to do.  The club was out of the question because it’s boring and they didn’t have much money anyhow.  Hanging around campus to find a party was a possiblility, but they decided against it just in case there were no parties.
         So JJ, Steve, and Colin were in Matt’s room and sat around.  Talking, staring and listening to the Doors.  It was 7:30 and time was beginning to run out for stuff to do.
         “Matt do you have any acid?” JJ asked.
         “Yeah.  Do you want some?” Matt offered.
         “Sure,” JJ replied.
         Matt went to his desk, opened the drawer and asked Steve and Colin if they wanted any.  They shook their heads and said no.  However, Matt and JJ persuaded Colin to do some, but Steve kept his values and declined.  Matt gave Colin the piece of small paper that had a purple heart drawn on it.  Colin watched Matt and JJ put the paper in their mouthes and chew on it, and after a couple of minutes Colin did the same.  Colin gave Steve the keys, and they went out to Colin’s car and left campus.
         After driving around town they ended up going to the monument.  Colin had his eyes open and he started to “trip”, because everytime the car turned and the lights of GJ were in view he thought that they were going to drive off the edge.  The car stopped at Red Canyon and they got out of the car.  Colin wasn’t sure of himself.  He didn’t know if he was going to fall off the cliff, so he crawled across the empty road, over the guardrail and down the rocks.  He sat underneath the overhang and stared straight ahead.  To him the lights of GJ were enormous, bright, and glistened like Christmas lights.  He finished staring and carefully went back up to the road.  He noticed two people sitting on a rock but he couldn’t recognize who they were even though it was Matt and JJ.  Colin in a daze looked at them and told them. 
         “It’s cold.  I’m going to get my sleeping bag.”  Then he slowly stumbled to the car.  He got in and grabbed his sleeping bag, then went back to where the strangers were sitting.  Colin sat in front of them, and began to pull the sleeping bag, but only a little bit came out.  He tried his hardest to get it out, and he was getting angry, and became obsessed with the sleeping bag.  He tugged at the part that was out, and to him the bag looked like a monster because of the acid, and he was fighting the monster.  Matt went over and helped, they pulled back and forth.  Finally they got it out, and Colin with his sleeping bag headed for the overhang.  He started to walk down, then suddenly he stumbled and ran into a tree that was a couple of feet from the edge of the cliff.  He bounced          back with great force and fell to the ground, then moved as far back as possible.  He laid down, then closed his eyes.
         “Doug what are you doing today?  Want to go to the pool and scam on some chicks?  What time do you want me to come over? Noon, o.k.”
         Steve heard Colin talking to himself and walked down to be with him.
         “Doug where are you?  Let’s go to the pool!”
         Steve said o.k.and from then on he pretended to be one of Colin’s childhood friends Doug and they continued the conversation, then abruptly Colin talked about something else.
         “Hi Harry nice to be in the booth with you this afternoon.  The Cubs playing the Phillies, let’s talk about the starting pitchers for today’s ballgame.”
         Steve changed from Doug to Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Caray and they talked about baseball.
         Then Colin got a message from God.  Actually it was JJ, but Colin didn’t know any better.  God (JJ) said from above.  “Colin this is God.  Come up here we’re leaving.”
         “No God.  I’m staying here at Doug’s.”
         Eventually Matt, Steve and JJ went down to where he was and draggerd him up the rocks and over the guardrail.  They left him there and waited for him to move but he didn’t.  JJ ordered Colin, “Come on let’s go home.”
         “No I’m watching Letterman!”
         “You can watch Letterman at home!”
         “No.  I’m at Doug’s watching it and I don’t want to leave!”
         JJ got fed up and grabbed Colin’s arms and dragged him across the road, opened the hatchback of Colin’s car and the three of them put him in the back of the car, and they drove back to campus.