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by Randy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #1490347
Some fleeting ideas for a character.
(a man is sitting on a park bench reading a news paper. A large man dressed in a super hero costume is standing next  to him.)
Cockyman: I am Cockyman!
Man: (slides down the bench away from Cockyman)
Cockyman: (moves toward man) I am Cockyman!
Man: Okay.
Cockyman: I am a great super hero.
Man: Is that so.
Cockyman: Yes it is.
Man: (goes back to reading paper.)
Cockyman: I am Cockyman!
Man: So you’ve said.
Cockyman: I like to tell people how great I am.
Man: (Ignoring Cockyman)
Cockyman: You must be awed by my presence.
Man: Annoyed by your presence is more like it.
Cockyman: How could you be annoyed. I am the greatest super hero Detroit has ever seen?
Man: Then go back to Detroit. Here in Cleveland you are annoying.
Cockyman: I’m in Cleveland?

(cut to a man and woman sitting at a table with a bowl of soup in front of each.)
Woman: My soup is too hot.
Man: Would you like a scoop of vanilla ice cream in it?
Woman: In pea soup!?
Man: Pea soup! Thank goodness.
Woman: Why, what kind of soup did you think it was?
Man: I’d rather not say.
Woman: (tries soup again) My soup is too hot.
Man: Would you like a scoop of vanilla ice cream in it?
Woman: In pea soup!?
(Cockyman bursts though door breaking it apart.  Man and woman are startled)
Cockyman: I will save you from this endless rut!
Man: Hey, you broke our door!!!
Cockyman: I am Cockyman!
Man: I’m going to call the police.
Cockyman: I am a great friend of the police. I am a super hero!
Man: Super hero or not, you are going to pay for that door.
Cockyman: That door is a mere triviality compared to my greater purpose.
Man: And what is that purpose?
Cockyman: Woman! Try your soup.
Woman: (tries soup) It’s just right.
Cockyman: Am I not awesome?
Woman: I submit that you are.
Man: Awesome for delaying dinner. What kind of super hero power is that?
Cockyman:  I have a long list of super powers.
Man: Nuts to you. I’m calling the police (picks up phone.)
(Cockyman looks panicked and leaps out an open window)
Woman: Wait! (runs to the open window and looks out) Don’t call the police, call an ambulance. Flying was not on his list.


(A man standing alone on a street corner. He is a perfect target for...)
Cockyman: I am Cockyman.
Man: You’re from England?
Cockyman: (to himself) Apparently Cleveland. (aloud) I am a great super hero.
Man: You are?
Cockyman: Yes.
Man: How come I’ve never heard of you?
Cockyman: Have you been to Detroit?
Man: No
Cockyman: My fame is in Detroit..
Man: (looking at him up and down) Are you any good?
Cockyman: Neither rain, sleet, snow nor darkness of night can keep me from my duties.
Man: You’re a mailman?
Cockyman: (a little puzzled) No… I am Cockyman, a super hero.
Man: So what is it you do? Fly? Lift cars? Eat bullets?
Cockyman: Ha! Nothing so common. Would you like to hear of my great accomplishments?
Man: Maybe next time.
Cockyman: There may not be a next time. I could parish in the face of danger at any moment.
Man: Wouldn’t that be a shame.
Cockyman: I could tell you of the time I had two broken arms, a twisted ankle, and a stuffy nose and yet I still single handily saved two hundred orphans from a burning building.
Man: Look, I’m just standing here minding my own business. I wish you would do the same.
Cockyman: I could tell you of the time when I had a broken knee cap, a crushed foot,  been decapitated, and was still able to climb on the outside of a building to the twentieth floor and save fifty people who were being held hostage by an army of desperate criminals.
Man: Hey, there’s a couple of guys mugging an old lady.
Cockyman: Where?
Man: Over there. (points down street.  turns back to see Cockyman running the other way.) I guess he is going back to Detroit.

Exeunt

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