Rosalie

Baby Sophia was barely 3 hours old when she first laid her eyes on Rosalie. She yawned and turned her head a little in her cot to see her being placed in the cot next to hers. She thought she was beautiful. Rosalie blinked a few times, turned her head towards Sophia and thought exactly the same.

I stared down at my shoes. They were brand new, but scuffed already, and the thin heel was caked in mud. They were a deep blue, and it stood out against the spotless, gleaming white floor.
I lifted my head, looked around, groaned, and looked back down. I concentrated on my nails. A deep blue - just like my shoes. A few hours previous and they had been perfectly neat, shiny and flawless. Now they lay tired, chipped and cracked. And shaking.
Maybe if I focused on something insignificant then I would forget where I was and what had happened. Just for a moment. But I knew that wouldn’t really happen. No matter what I looked at I could still see people’s feet walking past, and Dale next to me - drumming on his knee and tapping his foot nervously. And no matter how much I hummed to myself I could still hear beeping, whispering and crying all around me.
I had never liked hospitals. It makes me uneasy seeing so many sick people passing through, and nervous seeing doctors and nurses looking weary and worried.
It made me more nervous to see more doctors and nurses than normal.
And it made me even more nervous knowing the reason they were all here. Rosalie.

Rosalie looked up triumphantly at her tower of blocks. She thought it was very pretty because she had made it with only pink and yellow ones. It had taken her so long! But it was finished now and she was very happy with it. One of the nursery helpers, Polly, had offered to help but Rosalie had refused. She was so proud of herself. She started giggling with happiness - when, out of nowhere, Billy came racing past her, crashing into the blocks and sending her tower tumbling to the ground. Her eyes filled and her lip quivered, and she saw Sophia waddling up to her. “Oh no!” She cried, pointing at the blocks. They started to build it back up together. And then went to hit Billy with a toy rabbit.

“Sophia,” Dale said, taking my hand in his. I didn’t look up. “She’ll be okay. She has to be.” I looked at him, and then looked away again. “You know her - she’s so strong. She’ll fight it. In a few years this’ll just be a story she tells people at Christmas.” He paused. “How’re you doing?” He asked.
“Better than Rosalie,” I replied, shocked at the croakiness of my own voice.

As Sophia and Rosalie turned the corner, arm in arm, they heard the familiar tinkle of bells and knew exactly what it was. They turned their heads eagerly and saw the ice cream van approaching. They ran along the street, letting their school bags slip down their arms, waved at Mr. Greg, and rushed into their houses to pour the 10 and 10ps out of their piggy banks. They came out of their houses at the same time, ran along their pathways and slammed their pennies onto the counter. They asked for two 99’s simultaneously and grinned a gap-toothed grin at Mr. Greg. They were given their ice creams and sat on the wall to eat them while they waved off the ice cream van. Then Sophia slipped off of the wall and dropped her ice cream. Before she could even whimper, Rosalie was at her side offering her half of her ice cream. They linked arms and walked into Sophia’s house.

The events of this evening flashed though my mind. It seemed like a blur, like a dream I was only just remembering, but it also seemed clear - too clear. Like every colour had been brightened and every edge sharpened - razor sharp, so it hurt to remember,
The club, the park, the man…the knife. No, I couldn’t think about it. I couldn’t.

It was only 8a.m. on a Saturday morning but Sophia was already awake. At the sound of the post being pushed through the letterbox she threw up her duvet, flung herself out of bed, raced down the stairs and ripped open her envelope. She ran out of the door at the same time Rosalie ran out of hers, and she jumped over the beaten fence to get to her. They swapped letters. Their mothers watched, laughing, at their daughters squealing and hugging at the knowledge that they’d gotten into the same secondary school, then they went inside to have a cup of tea.

Seconds ticked by slowly, each minute seemed endless. So I’m not sure how long it was before a doctor came over to us.
“Sophia Casey?” She asked, looking at me. I nodded. I didn’t need to know what she was about to say. The look on her face said it all, and I could see Rosalie’s parents out of the corner of my eye. I knew it wasn’t good news.
“We did everything we could. Everything. But her wound…it was too severe. She’s passed away. I’m so sorry.” She hesitated a moment, like there was something else she wanted to do, but decided against it and turned and walked away.
I’m not sure how long I sat there, with Dale’s arm around me. Can’t remember if I cried. Or if I said anything. I could vaguely hear Rosalie’s parents on the other side of the corridor - her dad’s voice booming even when talking quietly. But it wasn’t scary, it was comforting. I felt her mother stand in front of me and I stood up to meet her gaze.
At first it would seem blank, empty, glazed over. But look deeper and you could see the despair, the confusion, the helplessness. And the anger, A tear began to fall and she wiped it away. Then she slapped me hard across the face. My eyes stung but I didn’t blink, didn’t flinch and looked back into her eyes. I watched as the despair won out over the anger and she crumpled, crying, into my arms.

Sophia heard Rosalie stumbling along the corridor cursing to herself and knew what was coming. She put down her book and turned to face the door, just as Rosalie came bursting in. “BASTARD!” She yelled, with no explanation needed, and flopped down on the sofa next to Rosalie. “Who needs him?” Said Sophie, putting her arm around her. “Right, who needs him?” Agreed Rosalie. Who needed a boyfriend? She was happy with Sophia in their little room on campus, and that was all she needed.

I didn’t blame Rosalie‘s mother. She was looking for someone to blame, as was I. And she’d decided on the same person I had. Me.
I felt Rosalie’s dad shuffling from foot to foot uneasily, and after only a few seconds he pulled his wife away.
I watched them walk out of the automatic doors and then I looked around.
“Where are Tara and Tom?” I asked, sitting down.
“Tom had to take Tara home, she was in such a state. Yelling, crying.”
“He always was the responsible one.” I said. What was I doing? Talking almost normally about our friends. But what was I supposed to do? What is anyone supposed to do after something like this? How am I supposed to know? There aren’t any rules or a guide book to follow. You’re on your own - isolated. I felt completely detached from Dale, even though he was so close, and I knew that as soon as I got home my mum would be fussing around me but I would remain in my own little bubble.

Sophia, Rosalie, Dale, Tara and Tom trooped out of the club at about half past midnight. No one wanted to go home, so they decided to go to the little park around the corner, Tara insisting on Tom giving her a piggyback. Tom was such a pushover, Tara always got her way. They all sat on the bench, except Rosalie who disappeared off around the corner to pick some flowers. They all chatted and laughed for a while, until Tara announced that she was too tired to stay out, so we all got up to leave. Sophia went around the corner to find Rosalie, the others trailing slowly behind her. She saw her at the bottom of the hill, chatting to someone. It was too dark to see who it was.
“Rosa-” She started, but Dale’s hand cupped over her mouth and pulled her into the corner, where Tara and Tom stood watching Rosalie. Tara was shaking and saying ‘ohmigod ohmigod’ over and over. Tom was trying to comfort her while calling the police. It took Sophia a few moments of watching Rosalie to see the sharp, shiny object that the man held. It took her a few moments to see the man’s outstretched arm, clasping Rosalie’s and stopping her from leaving. It took her a few moments to realise what was really going on.

“Miss. Casey?” The doctor was back. I looked up. She hesitated. “Would you like to come and see her?” I paused. See her…it had never crossed my mind that I might get a chance to see her. To see her body, lying lifeless and still. Did I even want to? I felt myself nod and Dale and I followed the doctor down another corridor. We stopped outside a door and she left us, saying she would come back soon.
“Just pretend she’s sleeping.” Dale said, squeezing my hand and then opening the door for me.
I stepped in.

Sophia started struggling against Dale’s grip, but he was too strong and she couldn’t break free. She cried out, but her sounds were muffled against his hand. She panicked, thrashing about wildly, she couldn’t just stand there, could she? But it seemed that that was all the COULD do - stare in horror at the scene that unfolded in front of her. Dale was telling her to be quiet, to be still, that he didn’t want her to get hurt as well. But she wouldn’t listen. After what seemed like an eternity, she broke free of Dale’s grip and started tearing down the hill - but it was too late. She watched as the knife plunged into Rosalie, she watched as she fell to the ground and she watched as the man smiled and walked away. Sophia didn’t see which way he went, she screamed out her best friend’s name and fell to her knees beside her. She clutched Rosalie in her arms and cradled her, trying to think of something to say. She felt tears run down her cheeks but couldn’t tell whether they were hers or Rosalie’s. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t see, she couldn’t hear - nothing existed except her and Rosalie. She was only vaguely aware of the ambulance arriving, Dale lifting her up and helping her in with Rosalie. She didn’t let go of her hand.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. She did just look like she was sleeping. The blanket was over her body so I couldn’t see the wound. I took a step closer.
“Hey, Rosalie.” I said, my voice shaky and uneven. I sat next to her. “Quite an evening , huh? Hard to believe it’s only 3a.m. I don’t know about you but it’s been dragging on and on.” I brushed her beautiful dark brown hair out of her face and took her hand. “I can’t believe this.” I paused. “I can’t get over the fact that I’m not going to see you ever again. I guess I took you for granted…I never took notice of how I see you every day, it was just how things were. You’re such a huge part of my life, now there’s going to be a part missing…” I paused again, tears flowed out of my eyes but I didn’t wipe them away. “But it still feels like you’re here. The idea hasn’t sunk in. You haven’t really left yet. I’m going to go to bed tonight expecting to find you knocking at my window within minutes…but you’re not going to, are you?” I sighed. “Love you, Rosalie.” I said, although I’m not sure if it would’ve been audible if anyone had been listening. I kissed her forehead and then turned to leave.
When I got to the door, I turned and looked at Rosalie one last time. Then I turned the handle, opened the door, and walked away.