Two magpies

Three weeks ago yesterday two magpies found themselves some way over the Atlantic.  They were originally flying to Hull, but got distracted as Dickie the magpie asked Frenchy the magpie a series of annoying questions. 

A fight developed and they both lost their map to Hull.  They were a bit worried at first, never having been over the Atlantic before, but it was a nice day so they decided to fly about for a bit and enjoy the sunshine and sea air.  Dickie was particularly pleased because he still had some ice-cream on his beak, which he was looking forward to eating later. 

After circling round for an hour, playing kiss-chase with some seagulls, Dickie and Frenchy swooped down to have a look at the fishes.  The seagulls thought it would be nice for them to try some fish.  At first the seagulls were mightily curious about the magpies, having only ever read about them in holiday brochures.  Seagull's holiday brochures have lots of pictures of magpies in them, because, for obvious reasons, seagulls spend their holidays inland in people’s gardens so they can escape their humdrum lives at sea.  Anyway, they caught some little shiny flying fish - Frenchy loved them, but Dickie found them disagreeable, and set about trying to lick the ice cream from his beak. 

Oh what a sight that was!  He bent his >head this way and that, and swooped and dived with all his might, but he could not reach the ice-cream!  The seagulls laughed at the stupid magpie as he struggled and struggled.  Dickie took this very personally, he didn't like racism in any form, and thought that it was unfair for them to laugh; after all, it wasn't his fault he had a little tongue. 

Dickie was getting upset, and he still couldn’t reach his ice cream, and he was getting his feathers all in a ruffle, and the seagulls laughed and laughed.  But then Frenchy explained to the seagulls that Magpies, of all animals, have the shortest tongue - due to the fact that they very rarely needed to use them for anything at all, save for at Christmas and birthdays when they would have a lot of letters to post. 

The seagulls all regretted teasing Dickie, who by now had finally managed  to stretch his little tongue far enough to reach the ice cream, and to make up for it they shared their little secret.  You see, seagulls are cleverer than they look, and they had devised a cunning way to lick envelopes and stamps which involved impaling a wet fish on a stick.  The magpies were very excited to learn this, and realised it would be fantastic advice for all magpies everywhere.  Dickie and Frenchy decided that instead of visiting Hull, they should devote their lives to spreading this valuable information to all the magpies in the world. 

So they bade their seagull friends goodbye and flew off.  Sadly, Dickie and Frenchy left a lot of their magpie friends behind, but on their adventures made many new magpie friends, and eventually became the most famous magpies ever.  And, of course, their friends and family back in Hull always  received their Christmas and birthday cards on time, lovingly written, fully sealed, albeit slightly smelling of fish.  But their little tongues were never chafed again.