Not Knowing Why

It had seemed the end for her. Everything was
tumbling, her life, dreams, and hope, fading
away as if they never were. And although she
may have wanted to find happiness again,
she could not seem to break through the shell
that had wrapped itself around her.
During the night all Petra could do was
breakdown into tears because all that she
was and wanted to be was so far away. The
act she had put on melted leaving the scared
little girl that would never fully leave her no
matter how medicine she took.
No longer did she even feel human because
everytime she looked in the mirror she could
no longer see herself only this creature that
would never let her be herself.
It was ugly the face a blur and swirl of facial
features, nose, eyes, and lips that would not
cease the trembling sobs torn from inside her.
During the night the tears stopped falling onto
her pillow, yet there was always a reminder of
how she always spent her nights.
No friend could reach her, her parents did not
know.
Sometimes she picked up a knife and tested
its weight wishing she had the courage to
watch the life ebb from her body. At those
times she remember the bible, church and all
it had taught her making Petra drop the knife
back into its designated place.
At school she would smile, laugh, talk, yet
hiding everything she felt the very entity that
walk beside her each day. The sadness,
despair.
It grow so worse that she could no longer
stand being around normal people so she
pushed them away. Until by the end of the
month Petra had alienated all her friends, her
family.
One time she could not even control the pain.
So she took 4 pills thinking that it would
actually help even though it was a
psychological placeboe.
Finally Petra after struggling went to the
doctor, found out that the medicine she had
been taking caused the roller coaster of
emotions.
She was prescribed another drug, her parents
were told and although in the beginning they
were slightly mad seeing a true smile on her
face seemed to calm them down.
Evenings later in the night she looked in the
mirror and for once saw no monster.

Thank You for reading