Not a Good Fit

“I see on your resume that you have worked at Burger Barn, Taco R Us, and Pizzas and Stuff, is that right?”

“Yes, Sir! And I went to culinary arts school about eight years ago.”

“May I ask why you didn’t finish?”

“Well, I had problems, you know, with some legal issues, but that’s been resolved. I think I would be great for this position, though. I cook a lot at home. You know, I always cook all the holiday meals and whatnot. I can make a watermelon that looks like a well and other stuff like that, you know? And that’s fun.”

“You do garde manger, then?”

“No. I don’t do much gardening, but I do cook with organic foods sometimes. Not much of a green thumb, you know?”

“And you understand that we are a five-star restaurant, Mr. Jeallos?

“Oh, yes. That’s why I applied. I think my talents have been underutilized at places like Burger Barn, if you know what I mean.”

“I can appreciate that, Mr. Jeallos. But, we are looking for an executive chef.”

“I know. I think I’d be great for the position. I have come up with so many different recipes and I think they would be a big hit here. Really, I’ve got some great stuff. I made this thing last Christmas, you know? You hollow out a loaf of bread – you can use the store bought bread from the bakery section as long as they don’t slice if first – and then you pull all the insides out and you make this filling, it has anchovies and artichoke hearts and… some other stuff I don’t remember, but it’s a great appetizer. I have the recipe in my file at home. I’ll make it for you my first day if you want.”

“I don’t think that would be …err… necessary. How about if you tell me about a time you worked under pressure. How did that go for you?”

“Well, this one time, at Tacos R Us, we had this bus pull in, right? And it was almost closing time. We had to feed like 40 high school football players in fifteen minutes. It was crazy! Man, we worked our butts off. And I’d do the same here, you know?”

“That’s wonderful. Okay, let’s say next Friday you have a convention for two hundred businessmen from Tokyo. What would you serve them?”

“Well, I guess it would depend on what they like and how much money they wanted to spend.”

“Mr. Jeallos , answer the question, please.”

“Chicken, I guess. Everyone likes chicken, and you can do a lot with it: sandwiches, salad, barbecued … it’s a pretty versatile meat, chicken is.”

“Chicken? Okay. That’s good. Umm… well, I don’t think I have any other questions for you. Do you have any for me?”

“When do I start?”

“Well, I have more interviews. I’ll give you a call.”

“I’ll get my chef coat and toke to the cleaners!”

Word Count: 495