Dan the Zombie Killer

Todd knew exactly where he was taking Betsy that night.  He had found the place when he and his buddies had been fishing the day before.  It was about ten miles out of town, a secluded place.  No one would ever find them there.  No one would ever know what they were about to do.  Todd turned off the main highway onto a gravel road.  After driving past the Old Mill Road Cemetery, Todd pulled the car to a stop under a canopy of towering oak trees next to the pond.    It had been a warm September day, but the temperature was dropping, and a fog was rising over the pond, spilling into the surrounding fields.  A full moon hung low in the sky illuminating the spot he had chosen.
          It wasn’t like this was the first time he had ever done this.  No, there had been two other girls.  But it wasn’t the same.  He had barely known them, done it quickly, and then felt terrible about himself the next day.  No this time was different.  This time was special because it was Betsy.  He loved her.  For the first time, Todd could truly say he was in love.  He loved everything about Betsy.  From wavy blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, sweet kissable lips to her ample breasts and slender long legs, he loved her.  She was sweet, and silly, and innocently charming.  And Todd knew that he loved her completely.  That he was only truly happy when he was with her.  That he would love her always and forever.  Nothing would ever change how he felt about her.
         Todd was nervous.    It wasn’t like he’d never kissed her before, but tonight she had definitely promised more.  Well, maybe not promised, but definitely implied more.  He had thought about it so many times.  How it would be with her.  But now he just felt awkward, like the stupid seventeen year old schoolboy he was.  He fiddled with the radio to find a song he liked and he realized his palms were sweaty. 
         Betsy shivered.  “It’s getting cooler,” she said in her sweet voice. 
         “Come here,” Todd responded and she slid closer to him.              
         “I think you are so beautiful,” he said.
         “No, I’m not.”  She shook her head.
         “Yes, you are,” he insisted.    He kissed her cheek, then her nose, then lightly on the lips and he could feel her relaxing against him.  So he got bolder, pulling her more tightly next to him, kissing him more deeply than before and he knew she was responding to him.  That this was definitely going to be the night that changed their relationship forever. 
         He was so lost in touching her, feeling her, loving her, nothing else in the world even existed.  All Todd knew was that he loved her more than himself.  He loved her more than life itself.  He loved her so much he would die if he couldn’t have her.    He tasted her lips once again, loving the sweet smell of her  soft skin and loving the fact that she had never given herself to another person.
         He began to unbutton the front of her blouse and that’s when she shoved him away in anger.  “You idiot,” she said.  “You are a complete and total jerk.”
         “What?”  Todd was confused.  “I thought that you wanted, I mean,” he stammered. “I’m sorry.”
         “You don’t even know why I’m mad at you,” she argued.
         “Well,  I guess you must have changed your mind.”
         “No, that’s not it.”
         “Then what is it?”
         “It’s Larry,” she said.
         “What about Larry?”  Todd was totally confused.  Why would Betsy be upset about his best friend Larry?  Todd knew that Larry could be annoying sometimes, but why was Betsy thinking about Larry now?  Unless Larry was the one she really wanted. 
         “He’s out there,” Betsy said.  “Larry is out there watching us.  I told you I wanted this to be special, just between the two of us.  How could you?”
         “Larry is not out there.”
         “Yes, he is, I saw him.”
         “No, I dropped Larry off at his grandmother’s house just before I picked you up.  He told me that he was going to stay with her for the whole evening.”
         “His grandmother’s house?”  Betsy questioned.  “And you believed that Larry, party animal Larry, is going to spend Friday night at his grandmother’s?”
         “That’s what he said.  Why wouldn’t I believe him?”  Todd countered.
         “You are so impossible!”
         “Look,” Todd said.  “If he’s out there, then where he is now?”
         They both peered out the window of the car and saw nothing except a blanket of fog on the ground.
         “Come on, baby,” Todd used his low, seductive voice.  “There’s nothing out there.  I promise.”
         “I know I saw him,” Betsy insisted.
         “Listen, baby, if you’re nervous about this, we can stop.”
         “I’m not nervous,” Betsy countered.
         “We don’t have to do this,” Todd replied.
         “You mean you don’t want me?”  Betsy pouted.       
         “Oh, I want you, that should be obvious to you,” Todd glanced down at his pants.
         Betsy smiled at him, her sweet, shy, smile that always melted his heart.
         “Come on, baby,” Todd said as he pulled her over next to him again.
         This time she didn’t wait for him to start, but threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with an intensity that he hadn’t expected. Todd knew that he was going to have to slow her down for her own sake.
         And that’s when Todd saw them.  There were two figures out in the field.  He couldn’t see them very well because of the fog, but it probably was Larry and Beaner.  Betsy had made him promise not to tell them where he was going tonight, but Larry wouldn’t let the topic drop and Larry had gotten the information out of him.  All Todd knew was if Larry and Beaner ruined this night for him, they were both dead men.  Betsy immediately sensed his change of mood.
         “Todd?” she asked.  Then she followed his gaze and saw the two figures too.  Betsy just shook her head as she buttoned up her blouse.  “You had to tell them, didn’t you?  It’s like the three of you were never separated at birth.”
         “Just let me go talk to them.  I’ll get rid of them, I promise.”  Todd opened the car door, slammed it shut and stomped off across the field, lighting a cigarette as he went.   
Maybe Betsy was right.  Maybe his friends were total idiots.  Sometimes there was just no controlling the stupid stuff they did.  But Todd couldn’t help it.  The three of them had grown up together, and Todd wasn’t ready to give them up yet.  Larry was tall, skinny, goofy and accident prone.  Beaner was short, stocky and not too bright.  They said and did a lot of stupid stuff.  Like the time they had tried to blow miniature marshmallows out their noses and Beaner got one stuck and they had to go to the emergency room to get it removed.  Yeah, those were good times.  They were good natured and kind-hearted, and certainly easier to understand then Betsy.    And while Todd knew that he loved Betsy, he couldn’t help it, he loved Larry and Beaner too.  Todd just had to get them to be more understanding of Betsy.  She was so sweet and wonderful.     
         Betsy had flashed her best smile at Todd as he got out of the car, but inwardly she was fuming.  Why had Todd told Larry and Beaner where they were?  Sometimes Todd could be a total jerk and his friends were always just plain annoying.  They were idiots, really.
           Betsy shivered in the cold night air and she rolled up the windows and out of habit locked the car doors like her father had always taught her.  One of her favorite songs was playing on the radio and she flipped down the visor to look in the mirror.  One of lights that illuminated the mirror was burned out.  Todd’s car really was a hunk of junk.  Sometimes it didn’t even start and Todd had to call Larry to come and pick them up.  She looked in the mirror combing her hair with her fingers.
         Halfway through her favorite song, the radio announcer cut in.  “We interrupt this broadcast with this special news bulletin.  Autopsy results of the latest three victims confirm the coroner’s finding.  A pandemic outbreak unknown in recent years is expected.  Please be advised to approach with extreme caution and to be properly armed.  This is not for the faint hearted or weak stomached.  Police advise residents to stay inside.”
         Betsy hated news and what was worse they interrupted her favorite song and what the heck did the word “pandemic” mean anyway.  She flipped up the visor and started skipping through radio stations to find a decent song.  That’s when she heard the thump against the door.  Thinking that Todd had returned, she looked up, only to see a strange man staring at her through the window.  His hair was unkempt, his business suit was tattered and torn, he had a blank stare, dried blood was on his lips, and he kept walking forward even though he had run into the side of the vehicle.
         Betsy jumped back from that side of the car only to discover that the entire vehicle was surrounded by these people.  They were all different ages, from an old lady to a little girl carrying a beheaded baby doll, to a man in a business suit to a teen with a Mohawk.  But they all had the same thing in common, the blank stare, the blood covered lips, the outstretched arms and awkward gait, the same low pitched guttural groaning.  Betsy did the only thing that made sense to her.  She screamed.       
         Todd was still about one hundred feet from the two figures, when he heard Betsy scream.  It wasn’t a normal scream, not a scream for help, not a scream of anger, but it was one of those blood-curdling screams, the scream of pure terror of fright so intense the only thing a person could do was scream.
         As Todd whirled around, he saw the reason for Betsy’s scream.  Surrounding the car on all four sides were about ten different figures of various shapes and sizes.  From a distance they looked like humans, but as Todd looked more closely, he could see the awkward gait, the outstretched arms, the blanks stares, the blood covered clothing.  They had surrounded the car and were pounding on the windows all in attempt to get to Betsy.  And Todd hesitated.  What should he do?  What could he do?
         That’s when Betsy took action.  She had stopped screaming, turned on the motor of the car and the headlights.  Blowing the horn, she started driving slowly towards Todd.  But that didn’t deter them.  None of them moved away from the car.  So Betsy floored it.  She stomped on the gas as hard as she could and she ran over three of them that had been in front of the vehicle and she felt the bumps as she went speeding over them.  Betsy was headed full speed for Todd, driving like a crazy person.  Todd wasn’t sure if he should try to get out of the way or if Betsy was going to stop in time.  But as Todd thought about jumping back, Betsy slammed on the brakes and slid to a stop next to him.
         “Move over,” Todd said as he tried to get in on the driver’s side.
         “No,” Betsy replied.
         “Move over,” Todd repeated again.
         But Betsy wasn’t about to let anyone else drive.  So Todd ran around to the passenger side of the car and hopped in.  And Todd realized that the two figures that had been standing off in the field by themselves had not been Larry and Beaner.    Well, if nothing else, Larry and Beaner couldn’t be blamed for ruining the evening.
         Before Todd had the door closed, Betsy sped off and headed the through open field.  Todd just hoped she didn’t drive them into the pond.  But Betsy made a wide swerve around the pond and headed for an old farmhouse across the way.  Betsy drove straight through the split rail fence and nearly ran the car into the back porch of the farmhouse.  She slammed on the brakes at the last minute and they stopped with a jerk and that’s when the motor died.  Betsy tried to restart the engine, but nothing happened.  They both sat there in stunned silence trying to process what had just happened.
         “You never told me you had your license,” Todd said.
           “I don’t.”  Betsy replied as she tried to start the car one more time. 
         That’s when the screen door opened on the back porch and out he walked.  He was dressed in unlaced converse high top tennis shoes, smiley face boxer shorts with a gun holstered in the belt around his waist.  He was wearing a baseball cap with the bill turned up and on the bill was written “Beer.”  In one hand he had pickaxe and in the other hand he held a hammer.  Even with the gun, the pickaxe and the hammer, he looked more ridiculous than menacing.  An old hound dog had followed him out the door and lied down next to his feet.     
         “Who are you?”  He called.  “What do you want? Speak up!”
         Todd jumped out of the car.  “Sorry, sir, I can explain.”
         “Are you Zombies?”
         “Zombies?” Todd was surprised by the question.  “No, sir, we’re not.”
         “Have you been bitten by a Zombie?”
         “Well, no,”
         The man lowered the pickaxe. 
         “So you’re not Zombies?”
         “No.”
         “Well, you drive like them.”
         “Sorry, it’s my girl friend.  She doesn’t have her license yet.”
         “That’s reassuring,” he replied.  “Does she speak?”
         “Who?” Todd asked.
         “Your girl friend.”
         “Well, yes.”
         “Then tell her to say something.”
         Betsy opened the car door and stepped out of the car and stood next to Todd.  “Hi, I’m Betsy,” she said in her sweetest, little girl voice.
         “You’re not a cheer leader are you?”
         “No, sir.”
         ““Good.  I hate cheerleaders almost as much as I hate Zombies.”  He lowered his hammer.
         “So what are you doing here, tearing up my yard and driving through my fence?”
         “Well, it’s just,” Todd stammered.  “There were some strange people out there.”
         “Zombies,” Betsy stated flatly.  “They were Zombies.”
         “And now our car won’t start,” Todd said. 
         “Well, then, you better come inside for the night where it’s safe.  We’ll see about getting you home in the morning.”  He offered.
         Todd hesitated for a moment, but Betsy didn’t, so he followed Betsy inside.
         The man led them through the small kitchen of the farmhouse.  The kitchen sink had an old fashioned hand pump and a wood burning stove.  There was an icebox in the corner and a small wooden table in the center of the room.
         “Used to be my Grandmother’s house,” he explained.  “Then the Zombies got her.  I had to take care of her myself.  Now she’s out in the graveyard, properly planted, like everyone should be.  Come on in the front room and sit for a while.  Zombies don’t bother me so much anymore.”
         The front room of the farmhouse was also quite small.  There were two matching chintz patterned sofas facing each other.  In one corner was a lazy boy recliner with a cooler on one side of it and an odd assortment of tools and farm implements on the other side.  Across from the recliner was an old black and white TV tuned to the news channel, with the volume turned off.
         “I’m Dan, by the way,” Dan said as he plopped himself down in the recliner.  “Want something to drink?”
         “Okay,”  Todd said as he and Betsy sat on one of the sofas.
         “Well, let’s see what I have,” Dan said as he opened the cooler next to his recliner and moved some of the cans around.  “I have beer,” he paused, “and beer.”
         “Beer is fine, sir,” Todd replied.          
         “Young lady?”  Dan asked as he handed Todd a beer.
         “No, thanks,” Betsy said shaking her head.  Betsy hated the taste of beer.
         The old hound dog hobbled back into the room and plopped himself down at Dan’s feet.
          “Have you kids been keeping up with the news?”
         They both shook their head no.
         “They say this latest outbreak is pandemic,” Dan continued.  “You know what that means?”
         “No, sir,” Todd replied taking a sip of beer.  “I’m afraid I don’t know what the word pandemic means.”
         Betsy just shook her head no.
         “Well, what the hell are they teaching you in school these days if you don’t even know that shit.”
         “Sorry, for my language,” Dan apologized to Betsy.
         Betsy just shrugged.
         “Would you look at that?”  Dan reached over and turned the volume up on the TV. 
         The news announcer was broadcasting.  “This is Harry Wiggins with the live action ten TV crew and we are currently on location in the small town of Plankton where pandemonium has occurred.  The latest outbreak of Zombie attacks has created chaos for this quiet, small town.  As Zombies feast on their latest victims, other residents are looting the merchandise from the store owners on Main Street in this small town.  Instead of fighting the Zombies, residents are stealing radios, DVDs and TVs.”
         The news reporter was unaware of a Zombie that had come up behind him. 
         “What?” he asked the camera man.  “What?”
         The he turned around and seeing the Zombie, simply said, “Back to the studio” as he ran off to the news station vehicle.  The camera man ran after him with the camera still on. 
         Dan turned the volume back down on the TV.  “I only like to watch the live action shots.  I hate listening to news reporters sitting behind desks.”
         “Do you want another beer?”  Dan asked as he grabbed another one for himself.
         The old hound dog opened his eyes and turned his head towards the front door as if he heard something.
         “What is it, Killer?”  Dan asked the dog.  “Do you hear something?  Is something out there?”           
         They heard a car door slam and then footsteps on the front porch.
         Dan grabbed his pickaxe and his hammer.  He handed a sword to Todd.  “Just in case,” he said as he peered out the front window.  Outside on his front porch were two teenage boys.  One was tall and lanky, the other short and stocky.  They knocked on the front door.
         “Zombies don’t usually knock,” Dan said as he sat back down.  “Go ahead, Todd, open the door.”
         Todd opened the door to see Larry and Beaner standing there.
         They both walked in and Beaner said, “Boy, are we glad we found you.  We’ve been driving around all night trying to figure out exactly where you were.  So how did it go?  Did you do it?”
         Larry pushed Beaner from behind nearly knocking him down.
         “What was that for?”  Beaner asked.
         “You talk too much,” Larry explained.
         “Do you know these guys?”  Dan asked.
         “Yes.”  Todd admitted.  “They’re my best friends, Larry and Beaner.”
         “Beaner?”  Dan asked.
         “It’s because he farts a lot,” Todd explained.
         “Are they Zombies?”  Dan asked.
         “No,” Betsy replied. “Just idiots.”   
         “Well, come on in,” Dan said.  “Do you guys want a beer?”
         “Beer?”  They both jumped at the chance to drink beer.  “Sure.”
         They both plopped down on the couch opposite Todd and Betsy and started drinking their beer.
         “Are you planning some house repairs?”  Todd asked trying to make some polite conversation.
         “House repairs?”  Dan looked puzzled.  “Why do you ask?”
         “Well, I see you have your tools in here, next to you,” Todd said referring to the wooden box next to the recliner.
         Dan just snorted.  “Those aren’t for repairs, boy.  Those are for killing Zombies.”
         “You kill Zombies?”  Beaner asked.  “Awesome.”
         “Have any of you ever killed a Zombie before?” Dan asked.
         The three boys shook their heads no.
         But Betsy replied,  ”I have.”  They all looked at her in amazement.
         “I ran over three of them with the car.”
         “You probably didn’t kill them, sweetheart.”  Dan said.  “Do any of you even know how to kill a Zombie?”
         “No, sir,” Todd answered for them, “We don’t.”
         Once again Dan shook his head.  “What are they teaching you in school these days?  Why can’t they teach you useful skills?  Why can’t they teach you something that might make a difference in the world?  Why can’t they teach something that might actually save a life?”  Dan threw his empty  beer can back in the cooler as he grabbed himself another one. 
         “Well, I think this is the time to learn.  The most important thing to remember about killing Zombies, of course, is that they are already dead.    And they only have one goal in life:  To eat flesh, which, of course, turns the victim into a Zombie.  Zombies are stupid, but they have a brain.  And so to kill a Zombie, you have to destroy their brain.  There are three simple ways that this can be done:  Stab, slash or smash.  You can stab them in the back of the head and destroy their brain, you can slash them across the neck and detach their brain from their body, or you can smash their skull and destroy their brain.  Any of those three ways will work.  But running over their body with a car, doesn’t work.
         “That’s why my favorite weapon of choice is a pick axe.  The pick can be used to stab.  The axe can be used to slash, and the back of the axe can be used to smash their skull in.  I also like to carry a hammer, and a sword.”
         “What’s the gun for?”  Betsy asked.
         “That’s for me,” Dan replied.
         “What?”
         “There is no way that I am ever going to be Zombie flesh.  I’d kill myself first.  If I thought that a Zombie was going to bite me, I’d pull the trigger and put myself out of my misery.  I don’t ever want to be a Zombie, and I wouldn’t let anyone I loved or cared about become one either.”
         “I have a nice assortment of other killing implements here,” Dan continued.  “Sickles, hoes, shovels, machetes, and of course, the screwdriver, can all be used to accomplish the objective.”
         “How many Zombies have you killed?” Todd asked.
         “Too many to count,” Dan replied.  “I’ve been doing this for fifteen years now, since I was about your age.  I remember my first kill, of course, we all do.”
         “And who was that?”  Todd asked.
         “Grandma,” Dan replied.
         Todd didn’t know what to say.
          “I have to take a leak,” Larry announced.
         “Me, too,” Beaner added.
         “There’s an outhouse out back.  Grandma never had indoor plumbing.  Or you can do what I usually do this time of night.”
“What’s that?” Larry asked.
“I just pee off the back porch,” Dan said.
“I can do that,” Beaner  said.  “Let’s go.”
Todd stood up to go with them and then remembered Betsy.  She always got mad when he ran
off to do things with Larry and Beaner and forgot about her.  “You coming?” he asked.
“To watch the three of you pee off the back porch?”  Betsy shook her head.  “I don’t think so.”
         “Hey, try to hit the bush behind the wheelbarrow,” Dan called after them. “That’s what I aim for.  And don’t forget to lock the back door when you come back in.”
         There was an awkward silence as the three boys left the room.  Betsy listened to the tick tock of the mantle clock and then heard the chimes as the clock struck two.
         Betsy shook her head.
         “What’s wrong?”  Dan asked.
         “My parents are going to kill me for being out so late.”
         “Better them than the Zombies.”
         “I don’t know about that,” Betsy said.
         “Trust me.  It’s better to be truly dead, than to be like a Zombie and be the living dead.”
         “I’m not sure they’ll believe me about the Zombies.”
         “Have you ever lied to them before?”
         “Well, yeah.”
         “Then you’re probably screwed.”  Dan replied. 
         “Yeah, well, thanks,” Betsy said.
         The boys bounced back into the room. 
         “Beaner can pee further and longer than anyone,” Larry announced.
         “I am the champ!”  Beaner exclaimed proudly.  “I am the champ of peeing off a back porch!”
         “Congratulations,” Dan said sincerely.  “And for that honor, you deserve another beer.”
         Betsy just shook her head in disgust and looked at the floor.          
         “Hey, do Zombies fart?”  Beaner asked.
         “Only if they eat you,” Larry replied as he buried his nose in his T-shirt.  “That stinks.”
         Dan just shrugged at the question.  “Let’s hope we never have to find out.”
         The conversation was loud and silly, and Dan failed to notice Killer open his eyes and turn his head toward the back door.  It wasn’t until old Killer stood up to go hide behind the sofa that Dan yelled to them all, “Stop!  Be quiet! Do you hear that?”
         And in the silence they all heard it, the awkward thumping of Zombies walking across the kitchen floor. 
         “You forgot to lock the back door,” Dan said.  “It’s time to get to work.”
         Dan quickly stood up and began to distribute weapons to the boys.  He passed a sword to Todd, a sickle to Larry, and a rake to Beaner.   
         “Now remember what I taught you.  You have to detach or destroy their brain.  And whatever you do, don’t let them bite you.”
         Dan looked at Betsy.  “See those stairs there.  There’s a bedroom up there.  Go up and shut the door and lock it and don’t let anyone in, no matter what.  Now, go, and do what I say.”
         And suddenly, the fun loving, pot-bellied, beer-guzzling middle aged man in smiley face boxers became a crazed zombie killer.
         As the first one stomped through the doorway, Dan swung with all his might at the Zombie and the pick axe did the job.  The Zombie’s head dangled from his body like a broken marionette before he slumped to the ground.  As the next Zombie stumbled over the body of the first one, Dan smashed the back of his skull with the hammer in his other hand.  “Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer came down upon his head” Dan sang.  “Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer made sure that he was dead.”  Dan smashed the skull of the first Zombie as well. 
         “Next one is yours, kid,” Dan said to Larry. 
         Larry held the sickle up behind his head like a baseball bat.  He swung widely at the Zombie, completely severing the Zombie’s head.  In his excitement over killing his first Zombie, he forgot that he had a sickle in his hand and swinging it downwards he cut his own leg.    “Dang it,” he said as the blood streamed down his leg.  But there was no time to consider his injuries. 
         The Zombies that were pounding on the front window finally broke the glass pane.  Glass shattered everywhere and the Zombies walked through the glass shards not noticing or feeling anything as the glass shards stuck out of their arms and legs.
         They marched towards Beaner and Beaner hit one of them with his hoe, but it slipped out of his hands and Beaner found himself weaponless and backed into a corner by six Zombies.
         “Help!” Beaner called.
         Dan and Todd turned to look at Beaner at the same time.  Todd lifted his sword, but Dan held his arm. 
         “There’s too many of them.  We can’t take them all before one of them reaches Beaner.”
         “We have to try,” Todd insisted.
         “No, trust me in this.  I’ve been fighting Zombies for most of my life.  I know what I’m doing.”
And with that Dan pulled out his pistol, aimed and fired at Beaner.  Beaner dropped on the floor in a heap.
         “You killed him,” Todd said.  “You killed Beaner.”   
         “Hey, kid, I don’t have time to explain it now.  But at least we don’t have to worry about Zombies farting.”
         The Zombies, when they saw that Beaner was dead, turned towards Dan and Todd.  There was no more time for discussion.  There was only time to stab, slash and smash.  Todd moved without thinking.  His sword in one hand and a hammer in the other, he angrily attacked the Zombies because of Beaner.
         Betsy sat upstairs on the edge of the bed.  She could hear the thumping, the banging, and the muffled yells.  Then she heard the loud crash of glass breaking and then she heard the gunshot.  She couldn’t just sit upstairs by herself any longer.  She had to know what was going on.  So she slowly opened the bedroom door and sat on the top of the stairs surveying everything that was happening.
         The Zombies were all similar in their awkward gait, blank stare, and low guttural moaning but at the same time they were all unique and different.  One of them reminded her of Mrs. Laughlin the school librarian.  They had said that she was sick and that’s why she hadn’t been at school.  The zombie even had on the same practical and ugly shoes that Mrs. Laughlin had always worn.
         That’s when Betsy noticed the little girl.  She was only about five years old.  Her hair was dirty and ratty, her dress was covered with blood spatters and in her arm she was carrying a behead baby doll.  She was barefoot and she walked with the same awkward gait, the same gazed stare, and she cried with the same low pitched moaning.  Betsy’s heart went out to the lost little girl.  If only there were something she could do to help her.
         Dan had noticed the child too, and he raised the back of his pick axe to bludgeon the young girl’s skull.  That’s when Betsy screamed, “No!”
         “You can’t,” Betsy said.  “She’s just a baby.”
         “She’s a Zombie,” Dan said.  “And this is exactly the reason I sent you upstairs.  I knew you wouldn’t have the stomach for this.  I suggest you get back in the bedroom.”
         When Dan had finished saying this, he swung his pick axe at the little girl, bashing her head in, and she fell to the ground still clutching the headless doll baby.
         In that instant, Betsy decided that she hated Dan, hated Dan with a greater intensity than she had ever hated anyone.  She hated Dan more than stupid parents, more than the annoying Larry and Beaner, more than those bitchy girls she pretended were her friends.  She hated Dan and somehow, someday, someway, she would make sure that she got even with him for this.
         Betsy was so intent on hating Dan that she hadn’t noticed the legless Zombie slowly crawling up the stairs towards her until she felt his hand grab her ankle.  That’s when she screamed.  Todd turned and saw the zombie and without hesitation lifted his hammer and crushed the skull of the zombie.  But even though the Zombie was dead, his hand still had it’s death grip on Betsy’s ankle.  Todd used the sword in his hand to chop off the Zombie’s arm and Betsy kicked her foot which sent the Zombie hand flying across the room.  It hit the wall with a thud.
         Then there was silence.  Dan, Todd and Larry stood in the center of the room.
         “Do you think we got them all?” Larry asked.
         Dan waited for a moment.  Then he saw old Killer come out from behind the sofa.  “Yes,” he replied.  “I think we got them all.”
         “How many do you think there were?”
         Dan counted the crushed skulls and decapitated heads lying on the floor and couches.  “It looks like about fifteen in here, plus however many there are in the kitchen.”
         They surveyed the damage.  Zombie body parts were strewn all over the place.  One zombie head was sitting in the recliner.  Another headless Zombie body was draped over the TV.    Furniture was overturned.  The front window had been smashed in and broken glass was everywhere.  And Beaner was still lying in a pool of blood in the corner.
         “Now what do we do?”  Larry asked.
         But Dan didn’t answer.  He simply put his weapons down and began picking up body parts and tossing them in a heap in the front yard.     
                       Betsy wanted out.  She didn’t want to stay here any longer.  But the only way out was over Zombie body parts.  She didn’t care anymore.  She was leaving.  She’d make Beaner take her home in his car.  Todd would just have to worry about fixing his car by himself.  She made her way down the stairs, tiptoeing her way around the Zombies.  She stopped and stood next to a partially decapitated Zombie head.
         “Where’s Beaner?”  She demanded of Todd as Todd was tossing Zombie parts out the front door. 
         Todd didn’t answer her.  He didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t know how to tell her that his best friend was dead. 
“Where’s Beaner?” she asked again.  “I want him to take me home, now.”
         But before Todd could say anything, the Zombie that they thought was dead, grabbed Betsy and bit her on the leg.  Todd was weaponless, but Larry still had his hammer with him, and he smashed in the skull of the zombie.
         Betsy stood there for a moment.  Then she screamed, “He bit me!  He bit me!”  And she ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it. 
         Dan came back in the room.  “Did she just say what I think she said?”
         Todd and Larry nodded.
         “You know what this means, don’t you?”
         Todd didn’t answer, but Larry did.  “It means she’s infected.  That’s she’s a Zombie now.”
         “You know what has to be done,” Dan said.
         Todd just nodded.
         Dan grabbed his pickaxe.  “I’ll go do it for you, kid.”
         “No.”  Todd said.  “No.  I’ll do it.”
         “Are you sure you can?”
         “Yes,” said Todd.  “If you could kill your Grandmother, than I can do this.”
         “It was different than this.  Grandma had been a Zombie for a couple of months,” Dan said.  “She’s just been infected.  It will take a while for the virus to turn her completely.  There will be blood.”
         “No, I’ll do it,” Todd insisted.  “Just give me the pickaxe.”   
         Todd took the pickaxe and stepped over Zombie pieces on his way up the stairs.  When he got to the top of the stairs, he tried the doorknob, but the door was locked, so he knocked on the door.
         “Go away,” Betsy sobbed.  “Just go away.”
         “Come on, sweetheart,” Todd said.  “Let me in.  Please.”
         “No, I can’t.”  Betsy said.  “I can’t.”
         “Sure, you can,” Todd said. “Please sweetheart, let me in.  I promise I won’t hurt you.”   
         Dan started up the stairs when he heard Todd say that, but Todd motioned him back.
         “I don’t want you to see me like this,” Betsy said.
         “It’s okay,” Todd said.  “You know that you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me.  Please sweetheart, I just want to talk to you.”
         He heard the click of the lock in the door.  Todd opened the door slowly, not really knowing what to expect.  He held the pickaxe behind his back, trying to hide it from her.
         Betsy sat on the bed.  It was obvious she had been crying.  There were dark circles under her eyes and blood on her ankle.  Todd could see the bite mark.  It was deep and some of the flesh had been torn away.  If only Todd had killed the Zombie in the first place.  If only Betsy had stayed up stairs like she was supposed to. 
         “Dan is going to want to kill me,” she said.  “I hate Dan.”     
         Todd didn’t say anything.  He still held the pickaxe behind his back.
         “You have to help me escape,” she said.  “I don’t want to die here.”
         Todd didn’t know what to say.
         “I thought you loved me,” she continued.  “I thought you would do anything for me.”
         “I do love you,” Todd told her. “And I will always love you.” 
         She stood up from the bed, her arms out in front of her.  “Then don’t let me go through this alone.  Come to me,” she beckoned.  “Become one of us,” she smiled as she took an awkward step forward.  “Do it for me.”
         In that instance, Todd knew what she intended.  She was going to bite him, eat him, chew him up and swallow him.
         He did the only thing he could do.  He raised the pickaxe above his head and yelled, “No!”          
And he brought the pickaxe down towards Betsy.

         Todd awoke with a start.  His heart was pounding and he was all sweaty.  It took him a moment to calm down.  Then he smiled to himself.  It was a dream, all a dream, a really bad nightmare.  He had imagined the whole thing, killing Betsy, Beaner dying, that crazy old Zombie killer, Dan.  And the Zombies!  Everyone knew there was no such thing as Zombies.
         Todd rolled over in the bed.  Sunlight streamed through the fluttering yellow curtains and it took him a moment to realize where he was.  He wasn’t at home in his bed at all.  No, he was still at the farmhouse.  It hadn’t been a dream, unless he was still dreaming.  He looked around the room.  There was the pickaxe standing neatly in the corner.  Everything was neat and tidy and there was no blood.  He examined himself for bite marks, but didn’t see any. 
         Then he knew what had awakened him because he could smell bacon frying and toast cooking.
Who would be cooking bacon?  And where was Betsy?  And how could anyone be hungry knowing that Beaner was dead?  He picked up the pickaxe and cautiously made his way down the stairs.  The living room was once again organized.  The big picture window was gone, and there was still a blood stain where Beaner had been shot.  But other than that, no one would ever have known what went on there the night before.
         Todd walked through the living room and into the kitchen.  There, seated at the small wooden table, were Dan, Larry and Beaner, all eating a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast.
         “You’re not dead,” Todd said to Beaner.  “You’re not dead.”
         “Nah, takes more than some Zombies, a gunshot wound, an a concussion to kill me,” Beaner replied with his mouth full.
         “But I don’t understand,” Todd said.  “Dan shot you.”
         “It’s an old trick I’ve used before.  First time I thought I was a goner, I tried to shoot myself and missed, just wounded myself in the leg.  But the Zombies thought I was dead.  Zombies may have brains, but they aren’t that bright.  So I thought I’d try the same thing with Beaner here.  It’s probably a good thing he hit his head against the wall and passed out. It kept him quiet until it was all over.”         
         Todd leaned the pickaxe in the corner, pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. 
         “Get you something to eat?”  Dan offered.
         “Nah, I’m not very hungry.”
         “Why not?”  Dan asked.
         “Betsy.”  Todd replied.  “What happened to Betsy?  Did you?”  Todd couldn’t finish the question. He hated himself for not being able to protect her.  He hated himself for not being able to stop her from turning into a Zombie.
         “She’s gone,” Dan said.  “None of us were really prepared when she came downstairs.  We were busy picking up the pieces, you know.”
         “And she took off in your car.  Somehow she got it started again.”
         “I didn’t think Zombies could drive,” Todd said.
         “Usually don’t have the coordination,” Dan replied.  “But the virus moves more slowly in some people than others.  It can take up to three days for some people to become fully Zombified.
         “I’ve got to find her,” Todd said.  “I have to bring her back.”
         “You do need to find her, Kid, and put her out of her misery.  But there’s no reason to bring her back here.”
         “No, that’s not what I mean.  I have to bring her back, bring her back from being a Zombie.”
         Dan just snorted.  “It can’t happen.  Once a Zombie, always a Zombie.”
         “Well, technically, the FVZA is working on a vaccine to slow the progression of the disease,” Larry said between bites.
         “And what do you know about the FVZA?”  Dan replied.
         “I read about it on the internet.  You  know, the Federal Vampire and Zombie Authority.”
         “I know. I’m an agent.”  Dan replied.
         “Like a secret agent?”  Beaner asked.
         “Give me your keys,” Todd said to Beaner.  “I’m going after her.”          
         “Is he really serious?”  Dan asked incredulously. 
         “I think so,” Larry said.  “He thinks he loves her and will do anything for her.  Once Todd has his mind made up there’s no way to change.  He’s usually pretty agreeable, but on some things he’s stubborn as a jack ass.
         “Let me finish eating,” Beaner said, “And I’ll go with you.”
         “Me, too,” Larry replied.  “I can’t let you do something stupid all by yourself.  What kind of friend would that make me?”
         “So you’re all serious?  You’re going to chase down zombie girl and hope to bring her back to life?”
         All three nodded.
         Dan paused for a moment.
         “Well, if that’s the case, then I’ll have to introduce you to Grace,” Dan said.
“Grace?”  Todd asked.
“Yeah, she’s a mad scientist.”
“Really?  You know a mad scientist?  How mad is she?” Larry asked.
“She’s the craziest lady I’ve ever met,” Dan said.
“If you think she’s crazy she must be.”  Todd added.
“And why do you think she’s crazy?”  Larry asked.          
“Because she thinks she can save the world.” 
“Can she?”
         “Hell no, but I still respect her for trying.”