Pain and Decision

Do I love him?

The tears flow relentlessly down my face,

I try to stop it.

I just cry harder.

I wonder if ill have any tears left once this sobbing subsides.

I will not miss it.

I fear something inside me is broken,

No. Died. 

Some part of me died.

The part that loves him.

The best part of my soul.

The best part of my existence.

Is gone.

I wonder if I have anything to live for.

My existence is nothing with out him.

I fear I love him, and I can’t do anything to change that.

My heart longs for him.

His soft embrace.

The feel of his lips on mine.

The way he holds me close and soothes me when I’m scared.

His warm body pressed against mine.

The hardness of his chest.

His heart beat in my ear.

Pulsing, beating, loudly.

A little faster than normal.

His shallow breathe on my neck.

The way he makes me laugh when no one else can.

The way he tells me he loves me.

I don’t think it possible to let go of him.

It hurts to even think about it.

My decision has been made.

I love him, and it’s impossible to stop.