Spraying for flies -

Although I do, my daughter does not ride vintage motorcycles.  She has no interest and I thank God for that.  As should the remainder of the planet's citizens.  Although she gets straight A's consistently, has for many years, and looks like a Victoria's Secret model, she is apparently deeply flawed.

This past summer we had some fruit flies in the house.  She apparently saw me spraying flying insect killer for the fruit fly problem in the library, kitchen,
dining room, and living room down on the first floor of the house.  The kids live upstairs where Julia saw some flies and then thought she would spray for them as well.  This, first of all;  would be in lieu of cleaning up the plates of food, drinks, and other garbage up there.  So the first day she sprayed everywhere up there heavily.  The next day she sprayed again - really fogged
the place.  The third day she bitched to me that it now seemed like there were More fruit flies up there;  not less.  I was a little rushed and at first blew it off with:  huh!  damifino.

But then a bit later the memory and realization came to me . . . wait a minute:  I used up all the flying insect killer spray - so what was she using?  God knows she would never actually Buy anything for the house.

Ahhhhh . . .  Julia?  What did you spray with?

Spray.

What kind of spray?

I don't know;  some kind of bug spray;  just like what you used.

Where are the cans?

I don't know.

Well I know you didn't throw them away - go find them - let me see them.

Off she flounces and in a few minutes comes back with a spray can in each hand.  One says:  Clorox, the other says:  Lysol.

Why did you spray This stuff?

To kill the fruit flies.

What made you think that these things would kill bugs?

Well;  they're sprays.

They're not Bug Sprays.

Well;  they Are Sprays.  (accusingly:)  I saw You spraying.  What did you use?

Flying insect killer.

Oh.  Well there are still flies Everywhere upstairs.  I can't stand it any more - I'm going out.

A few days after that she came home and complained that her skin was burning;  What can I do for that?

What is the matter with your skin?  Did you get anything on it?  Does it seem like an allergic reaction?  Have you used any new products?  Where have you been recently?

Well, Amy, and Jill, and I were just at The Quarry.

What's that?

It like this big lake with big rusty machines on one side.

A sand wash?

No  (tone like I'm an idiot)  it's Called  A Quarry.

What did you do there?  We went swimming.

What else?

Well we laid out in the sun.

Did you use a new sunscreen?

No.  We didn't need sunscreen - we had to leave because the bugs were so bad.

What kind of bugs?

I don't know - lots of bugs.

We tried using bug killer but it didn't work.

Insect repellent?

Yeah;  insect repellent.

What kind?

Raid.

Raid?  The insecticide?  The stuff you use for killing ants and so forth?

I think it said it killed roaches and some other stuff but we figured it would work for quarry bugs.

And how did you use the Raid?

We sprayed it all over each other and rubbed in it.  But it didn't work - we had to just leave.

And now your skin is burning?

Yeah;  really bad too - I'm going to try taking another shower.  Will that work?

And . . . . this is My Life As A Parent. <g>