Dragons

DRAGONS

My world is changing. I can sense it and I’m a little scared. It’s like being on a long walking trek with far less to go that I’ve already come, and now I turn a corner and face a frightening swinging bridge of wood and rope, and I know I have to cross it. I’m terrified of swinging bridges, but to go back just isn’t possible. I have to go forwards, and that means I have to cross the bridge. How long it takes me – how long I stand this side and wail and delay and deny and turn away – however much time I waste trying to avoid it, is just that – a waste of time. I will cross the bridge eventually because I must. There is no other way.

So my world – my life – is changing, and change brings the unfamiliar and the unknown, and it brings anxiety and fear, and maybe even anger that I find myself in this position. I feel the need to run for safety and comfort in the familiar surroundings and situations of my life – even if that life isn’t what I’d like it to be. At least I know what my current life is, and I have ways of coping with it. I fear the new and unknown, for the past tells me that they can bring new sadness and pain, and I can’t know what they will be. I can’t be prepared for them. I will be vulnerable.

Now is the time to face my dragons, and perhaps my biggest dragon. The thought scares me, but maybe if this change is meant to be, it won’t be a bad dragon after all. Maybe it will be a peaceful dragon. Maybe it will be a dragon that is pleased to meet me, that will help me, carry me forward, show me the easier road to take on my journey. Maybe the dragon will turn out to be a friend, leading me on to better things. Maybe, but what of all the dragons still snapping at my heels? Do I run from them again? Do I hide and hope they don’t find me? Do I waste more time? Do I waste my life hiding from my fears – for they are only fears, and only mine. The same dragons don’t bother others so why should I fear them? When did they become such fierce dragons to me?

Does it matter when or why? Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe what matters is that I can see that it’s me who imagined them as bad dragons, and if I can see it was me who gave them an unnatural and unreal power to frighten me, then it follows that it’s also me who can turn and face them, take away their power, take a clear and honest look at them, and not be frightened anymore. They aren’t as I believed them to be. They aren’t ferocious. They aren’t trying to destroy me. They aren’t dangerous. They’re an illusion I created in my mind. They’re just a puff of wispy air disappearing before my eyes as I stand my ground and look at them. And then they are no more – and I can smile in wonder at the power they had over me and the fear they once stirred in me, and I’m free to turn towards the road again and walk on in peace, enjoying the scenery, enjoying the journey, knowing that I won’t be so scared of dragons ever again.

The road is open. I can go anywhere, choose my paths, see and experience new and amazing things, all with new eyes – new perspective. And I can smile every time I remember the illusions of frightening dragons – dragons that had trapped me, waylaid me, and sapped my energy and spirit for so long. I can smile because I did it all to myself. I fooled myself. There never were any dragons – just the unreal fears of my mind.