A Letter To My Love

My Friend,



I write another letter, from the depths of my bowels it churns out, it has become a realization to me that I only seem to write at such a time. I have found that you are necessary to me, I need you near me, for you do not merely make me want to be a better person, you inspire me to try to become one. You make me try to be more than I am, not by suggesting, but by being yourself, and by being unafraid. For long and long have I been the one whom people feared, and it comes as a shock when a young lady sees me as a human, and not as the beast the mirror shows. You are necessary to me, and you have become a part of my comfort zone, but it saddens me to think that you need me naught. Perhaps GOD willing someday you shall find me necessary also.

I write also of your beauty, for it is a beauty I see, and perceive. I could speak of hair that cascades from your shoulders like a waterfall, of a smile that haunts my dreams. If I did, somehow I think you would not believe what it is that I see, for the glasses we look within reveal only the image we have of ourselves. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it is not always a firm case. If I could see me through your eyes, or in reverse you see you through my eyes, I doubt we would recognize the person we would see. Yours is not a beauty that leaves me addlepated, for if it were how then could I describe it. I could speak in flowery prose, or in rhyme, to describe what it is in you I see, but it would do you no justice, for I am not so eloquent as to describe the indescribable.

I write of a friendship, for it is a strong one I think. We tend the garden that is our friendship often, and pull the weeds, or cut back so that it may grow, and bloom even brighter. It is your friendship that I value, and would not want to live without. I would, but life without you would be a duller place, the colors dimmed. However, I also write of love, and friendship is a type of love, but like a friendship love can also grow, and blossom brightly. It is a subject one must not fear, for love is not to be feared, but enjoyed. As I have said before, I love you, my friend, and I would be willing to see where that could go.

I do not propose marriage, for upon this sheet would be a shabby place to do so, I do suggest that you be aware of how little I can offer you though, for my life is mine to share. If I were to make a proposal, however, there would never be any question as to whether I had proposed. I am, I suppose, what some may call an incurable romantic, for my idea of a proposal has been described as a scene from an old story, or, perhaps a faerie tale. I bring this up because of some asides I have received from the 'rents, though I know not why.

I would not see you hurt, nor would I allow any harm to come to you, if it were within my power to prevent it. I know in the past you have been hurt, and a man broke your heart. I, however, play for keeps, not for fun, and you are too dear to me to leave, too valuable to hurt, too precious for me not to want to protect you. If all of my mortal friends were but gems in a basket, you would shine the brightest, you would be the diamond to their rubies. I am willing to explore the possibility of being more than just your friend, I am willing to learn to love you as you need to be loved, and I pray GOD gives me to you.

You are the friend of my heart, the friend to whom I can talk, and I only want for you good things, happiness, joy, contentment, long life, a loving husband, and if I can provide none of these things, then I know that GOD can. For He loves you more than I ever could, and if He doesn't give me to you, He has a reason, but he will give you these things if you let him. You claim to have screwed up big time in the past, but He forgives you, can you forgive you? I don't know what heinous crimes you may have committed, but I somehow doubt that they are as bad as you think. Remember I am the beast, not you, and blood stains my past, violence burns in my memories, and the things I have done and seen still bother me. Yet GOD forgave a major screw up like me, then He put you in my way, what can I do but love who He put in my way.





                                                                                            Love