Just Yesterday

He slipped into the bathroom to avoid her. He needed to gather his thoughts. "Damn it! Why did you have to come?" He paced back and forth, rubbing his forehead. Thinking.
He wasn't ready to see her. Not yet. And it looked like she was with someone. It was just yesterday when they were arguing in her apartment, breaking up. Here she is, already with a new guy. "How does she do it?" he said aloud. "Does she know what she's doing to me? Fuck!" He knew though...no matter how long he waited, she'd be on the other side of that door.

She sat at a table. She wondered whether or not she should leave. But she didn't want to go. She was there with friends, trying to forget for just a little while. She thought she might see him here. She just didn't feel like changing her plans to suit him. Everything had been done to suit him. She was tired of it. Of him. It was just yesterday when she told him what she really thought. What he was doing to her. She was tired of the fighting. And the crying. When Mike called, she thought it was a good idea to get out. And besides, she had dated Mike last spring. They happened to remain friends afterwards. But he would never understand that. He could never believe that she was just friends with another man.

He finished his beer, so that when he left the bathroom, he'd have a reason. A purpose. Someplace he needed to go. He looked at himself in the mirror. He ran his hand through his dark hair, then back again across his forehead. He opened the door. He couldn't help but glance in her direction. She didn't see him. He went up the stairs against the back wall.

"Do you want a beer or something?" Mike asked her.
"Yeah. I think I'm ready," Mae told him.
Mike looked at his friend, "Chad, how about you?"
"No, I'm all right."
Mike stood and Mae offered to go with him. He looked at Chad, "Save our seats." Chad nodded.
Mae looked over at the bathroom, then around her. There were stairs near their table. They followed the steps upstairs to the bar. As they approached the line, someone tapped her on the shoulder.
She turned around to find a man smiling at her. "Steve!" Mae smiled and hugged her friend. "I haven't seen you since…what? Last semester."
"I've been working over at the city planner's office. And I'm still taking classes, so I've been pretty busy."
She introduced her friend Mike, and then she turned her attention back to Steve. "What happened here?" she said pointing to a scrape on his face.
"I crashed my bike and kinda skidded on the street."
"Ouch!" she said, as he showed her other scabs on his knee and hand. "Damn, are you okay?"
"Oh yeah. It looks worse than it feels."
"You should stop by sometime."
"I'll do that." Steve smiled, then said, "I thought I saw Carl here."
Mae nodded. "I saw him earlier. But it's, um…it's over with him. We broke up last night."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I couldn't take it anymore, you know. I couldn't talk to you…or any man for that matter, without being suspected of doing something. He even accused me of screwing around with one of my teachers!"
"I remember the last time I was at your place, he kinda freaked out. Slamming doors and yelling."
"God, I know. I'm sorry," she said shaking her head.
"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault."
Mike approached them carrying two bottles. "Here you go," he said handing one to Mae. She thanked him and took a sip.
"I have to find my friends, so I'll talk to you later." Steve looked at Mike. "It was nice meeting you."


Mike and Mae meandered through the thickening crowd. She didn't see him standing against the wall. Watching. Carl kept his eyes on them. Waiting to see if he'd touch her. He had remembered the other guy from her apartment. "Steve? I think." But this one he didn't know. They disappeared down the stairs and out of view.
He waited before following them. Carl took his time down the steps. He was alone. He didn't ask any of his friends to come. He had planned to be with Mae. He didn't think she'd come without him. He had hoped anyway. Carl thought for sure that Mae would run to Doug. He was a friend of hers. Carl always thought she liked him.
One night, Doug stopped by her place. Mae apologized for the way she looked. A few minutes later, Doug left and the argument began. Carl wanted to know, "Why are you so worried about your appearance for him?"
"All I said was 'Sorry for my sloppy attire.' What's the big deal?"
"You're so concerned how you look for him. I can tell you like him."
"Again with Doug! Let me try to explain this one more time…I am friends, get it? Friends with Doug. Why do you always have to make something out of nothing? Why are you so suspicious of me?"
"I don't believe you like me the way you say you do."
"You think I'm lying about how I feel about you?" she asked. He nodded. "Tell me. Why would I do that?"
"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to find out."
Mae looked at him and rubbed her hand across her forehead. "This is unbelievable. This is absolutely ridiculous. You want me to defend my feelings for you? Is that it?"
"Yes."
"What's the point? You won't believe me anyway! You don't believe that I love you."
"I think you're going to leave me for someone else."
"Oh God! Wonderful! And you think it's Doug?"
Carl nodded. "Maybe. I don't know. You have so many friends, it could be anyone. But you're definitely keeping your options open."


When Carl reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked over to where she had been sitting and found her there again. The opening band had already started. He watched them for a few moments. Mike leaned over and talked in her ear. Carl looked away from them, and let his eyes linger on the female singer on stage. He looked back again to find them laughing. Carl spotted an open seat a couple tables behind them. He made his move, making sure he walked right past her.
She caught his movement in the corner of her eye. She saw him look at her too. She didn't follow him with her eyes. She simply knew he was behind her. Somewhere. Just so he could watch her. Mae wasn't going to let it spoil her night. "Fuck him," she thought. Mae leaned over and whispered into Mike's ear. Smiling.
Carl watched.
"Why would she come here? She knew I'd be here. She's punishing me. That's it. Don't let her see how it gets to you. Don't let her know it's working." Carl drank from his beer then looked around. The place was really filling up now. He looked at their faces, their clothes. Then he laughed to himself, "So young. They don't even know what love is yet. Or pain." Carl shook that thought out of his head and drank his beer.
Mae excused herself from the table. She stood and walked towards the bathroom. She never looked in Carl's direction. Chad said something to Mike and left the table too. Carl wondered if he should go talk to this guy. But what would he say? "Don't fall in love with her. She'll only break your heart." Carl laughed at this, "Shit!" Mae emerged from the bathroom crowd. Carl stared at her. He wasn't going to let up. She never looked in his direction. She simply sat down and began a conversation with Mike. Carl didn't like this. "She's ignoring me. Bitch!" He ran his hand through his hair. "It's bad enough she broke up with me, but now I don't even exist. I'm not even worthy of attention. Fuck!"
So Carl turned his attention to a blonde girl sitting at the table next to him. "Hey, do you know the name of this group?"
"I think they're called Flanders."

Mike leaned over to Mae. "I think Chad is in love with the lead singer."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. He's over there," Mike said pointing to the side of the stage.
"Oh man. What's he doing over there?"
"He said he was going to wait for her to come off stage and talk to her."
"What a freak." Mae looked up and noticed Carl and a blonde girl walking by her. They were headed for the dancing crowd in front of the stage. "Poor girl," Mae thought. "If she only knew," she said aloud.
"What?" Mike asked.
"Nothing." Mae drank her beer and listened to the music. She scanned the people dancing and found Carl and the blonde. She simply watched them. She didn't feel jealous or angry, or even uncomfortable. No, what she was feeling was closer to relief. "It's over," she thought. She just wondered how long it would take him to realize it. Mae smiled and took in a deep breath.
Mike leaned over and asked, "What do you think?"
"I'm enjoying it," she answered. "They're local, right?"
"Yeah, but I don't think I've ever seen them before."
"Me either," she told him. He took another sip of beer, looked over at the bathroom, then leaned back towards Mae.
"I'll be right back." She nodded and watched Mike walk to a trash can, throw in his bottle, and move towards the bathroom. Mae smiled as she thought about Mike. He was one of the nicer ones. One day, they were driving to class together. But it was such a beautiful day. Spring. Trees and flowers blooming and greenness everywhere. She couldn't be inside on a day like that. She talked Mike into playing hooky. They smoked a joint on their way to the park. They walked around, at first, then resigned themselves to sitting on the grass and talking.
Mae was lost in her memory. She didn't notice Carl and the blonde leave the dance floor. He made sure they passed by her. He put his hand on the stranger's waist as he looked at Mae. Mae started laughing. She couldn't help it. She thought the whole bit was funny. Carl didn't like this. He peered back at her and scowled. She never noticed, though. Mae was still laughing when Mike returned. "What's so funny?" he asked.
"It's these people… dancing." She told him. "What do they think they really look like out there?"
"Can't you see, they're cool."
Mae shook her head and laughed. "No," she said. "But they're definitely something all right."
They both laughed, then he suggested, "Let's go upstairs…"
"Oh, good idea." Then she hesitated for a moment, thinking. "What about Chad?"
"Oh forget Chad. We'll find him later. It's not a big place."
"True." She looked around at the people in the crowd. "Let's go."
Mike led the way up the stairs. They held hands as they walked. Carl noticed this. He made a move for the stairs up the back wall. He figured they'd be going for more beer. They were already in line. He saw them, laughing and talking. But they weren't holding hands anymore. Mae glanced in his direction. "Yes, I see you over there," he told himself. But she only looked for a second then turned away. "C'mon, you know I'm here, look…look…look. Damn it! C'mon!" Carl watched as they ordered. He kept waiting for her to turn around. Mike threw some money on the bar. They took their beers and walked towards the railing. Mike and Mae continued talking and laughing. Carl kept watching. She never turned around.
The first band finished playing and started to move their equipment offstage. Mae hoped they'd hurry. She wanted to see the next band and get out of there. She was tired of his game.
It didn't take long before the headlining act took the stage. The crowd yelled and cheered. Mike and Mae stood watching and drinking. The crowd in front of the stage started dancing again. Some simply slammed into one another.
"What the fuck?"
Mike laughed. "I think it's a mosh pit." They both shook their heads and laughed. "A mosh pit."
Mae noticed Carl down in the pit. It was entertaining to her. "He looks like a fool," she thought. But then she figured he was letting out his anger, and rather down there than against her.
Mae leaned against Mike and asked, "Any sign of Chad?"
Mike looked around for his friend. "He was by the stage…oh hell, he could be anywhere." He had given up looking for him, when Chad approached them.
"Hey guys! I was hoping you hadn't left."
"We were looking for you. So, did you talk to that girl?"
"No," he said. "I chickened out. I don't think she was my type anyway." Chad glanced back at the line behind him. "I'm gonna get in line. You guys need anything?" They declined. After Chad left, Mike excused himself again to use the bathroom.
As Mae stood there alone, she thought about the other day, her birthday. She was sitting at the kitchen table working on a report for class, when there was a knock at her door.
"Who's there?"
"I have a delivery. Flowers."
She put them on the table. Mae thought they were from her mother. They were from Doug. He'd remembered. Mae had left the door open and Carl entered.
"Are you busy?"
"Just homework," she told him, and then turned back to the books.
"Flowers. From who?"
"Doug," she answered. Carl was quiet after that. It took her a moment to realize. "What's wrong? Are you mad?"
"Not mad, no. It's just, he gives you flowers and I give you nothing but pain."
Mae knew what was coming next, but she was tired of dealing with it. "Oh don't be so dramatic. He usually gives me a hard time. This is the first time he's given me flowers."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"I don't know what could make you feel better, Carl."
He shook his head, then sat on the sofa. "What can I do? How can I make things right again?"
"If I knew that, I would've told you already."
"You'd tell me only if that's what you really want."
"Listen, are we going to go another round again? Because I don't feel up to it."
"Damn it! You never want to talk!"
"That's not true, Carl. You just don't like to hear what I have to say."

"What a way to spend my birthday," she thought. Mike and Chad returned. They turned their attention back to the crowd and music.
Mike leaned to Mae and said, "So what do you think?"
Mae replied, "I thought they'd be better."
"Yeah, me too."
"I think I'd rather be home listening to the CD."
Mike laughed. "Why don't we do that. Let's finish these beers and go."
"Sounds good to me," she told him.
He turned to Chad, "We're thinking of going, after these beers."
Chad shrugged, "Sure. This is getting old."

When they were ready to go, Mae looked out over the crowd one last time. She didn't see Carl, and she hoped he wasn't outside waiting. They serpentined through the crowd and made their way down the stairs. They stopped when they reached the bottom. Chad bumped into a friend and started talking. Mae looked around, over the people, and saw her friend Steve. When he noticed her, she waved. As he waved back, she saw Carl standing against the wall near the bathrooms. He was watching her again. She stared at him for a moment. "Never again," she said. Then Mae turned back to Mike and said, "You ready?" Chad said good-bye to his friend. As they left the bar, Carl quickly downed the last of his beer, tossed the bottle away, and pushed his way through the crowd. When he reached the outside, he frantically looked around. "Where are you? Where'd you go?" he thought. Carl called for her, but Mae was already gone.