Grey 5

The Sickness part 2



Grey and Shoeless rode to the bar together in silence. Grey could tell that the Shoe was feeling talkative due to the line he had taken earlier but Grey was in no mood for junk talk, and Shoeless finally got the hint. When they arrived at the Green House the Shoe parked and began immediately to get out of the car. “Hold up man,” Grey said as Shoeless was opening the door.

“What’s up?” The Shoe replied closing the door.

“Are you cool with all this man, I mean, you seemed pretty nervous when we were going down to see the GZ. Are you sure you don’t mind sticking around here for awhile. I know you’re not used to being around these shady motherfuckers, and if you decide to stick around its only gonna get worse.”

“Don’t worry about it man,” Shoeless said genuinely, “To be honest I’m really starting to have fun. Its kinda crazy hanging with all your old criminal buddies, It aint like hangin with the college crowd.”

“No shit,” Grey said flatly.

“Seriously man, it’s cool. It’s actually exciting; I get to pretend like I’m notorious.” The tone of Shoeless’s voice was somewhat frightening to Grey. He had seen plenty of young men become seduced by the street life, and the Shoe’s eyes were brimming with a dangerous curiosity.

“Well, just so long as you remember that it’s not cool, aright. Nothing about the GZ and all this bullshit is cool. Now were just gonna go in here, talk to this old friend of mine, and go back to Dodge."

“What’s the deal with this girl man, it sounds like you were close, how come you haven’t talked to her in like ten years, and why do you wanna talk to her so bad now?” The Shoe’s question was a legitimate one, but it was one that Grey had no answer for. It was too long of a story and far too painful to be recounted in the few moments they had before entering the bar.

“Don’t worry about it bother; maybe I’ll tell you another time. You ready to go in?”

“Yeah man, let’s do it.”

The Green House was an old hippie hang out, hence the name. The bar was lined with aged sixties burnouts and failed revolutionaries discussing the glory of their former years, and the hopelessness of their current ones. Grey and Shoeless went immediately to the bar where Grey attracted the attention of the bartender and ordered a pitcher. As he waited for his drinks to come he looked slowly about the dimly lit barroom, his eyes coming to rest on a young woman sitting alone in the back corner of the smoky room. It was Sam.

She had changed, there was no doubting that. Her hair was still blond but it no longer contained the rebellious streaks of color, and her once kitty punk clothing had been replaced by simple jeans and a t-shirt. She sat staring into her drink, and had the look of a person who has lived too fast for too long. He could see a faint scar running from her forehead to the upper part of her right check, and years of sadness had sown deep circles beneath her eyes.

When the bartender appeared with their pitcher, Grey paid him and quickly poured himself a glass, drinking deeply in an attempt to quiet his nerves. “Do you see her?” Shoeless asked, “Is she here?”

“Yeah she’s here.” Grey replied. “I guess we should go on over.”

Grey had been waiting for this moment for so long and now that it was finally here he felt stricken with fear. It was almost as if he didn’t want to know the girl sitting alone at the table. She had changed so much and Grey wondered if he would have been better off keeping her as a sweet memory in his mind.

“Can you grab the pitcher?” Grey asked Shoeless. He did, and they began to make their way over to Sam’s table.

“Hello Sam.” Grey said softly as he reached the table where she was sitting. She quickly turned around at the sound of his voice and began to smile that same smile that had clung to his memory for so many years. It still contained a hint of mischief, though the spark in her eyes had dimmed and had become little more than a dull glow. Despite this Grey was pleased to see that it was still there at all

Sam immediately sprang to her feet and threw her arms around Grey.

“Grey!! Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s actually you.” Her arms grasped him tightly as she buried her head into the crook of his neck. “I thought I would never see you again.” She whispered.

“Yeah, me too.” He said. Stunned by the sudden outburst of affection, he stood awkwardly holding the girl who had spent so many dark years occupying his every thought; the girl who was now a woman. After a moment she slowly withdrew, and stood with her hands on Grey’s shoulders, her eyes penetrating his own. For a moment she looked as though she may cry, if only the savage nature of her past had not taken the ability from her. Finally she cracked an embarrassed smile, half a laugh, and invited Grey to sit.

Grey, unable to take his eyes from hers, had completely forgotten the Shoe, who was standing in obvious discomfort holding a pitcher of beer.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, this is my friend Shoeless. Shoeless, this is Sam.” Sam shook his hand as though he were an afterthought and returned her eyes to Grey. They all sat down around the table and shoeless poured each of them a beer. Grey and Sam both immediately took long heavy drinks from their glasses; it appeared as though they still had much in common, despite the passage of time.

“Grey Townsen,” She breathed after draining half of her beer.

“Samantha, Jenkins, It’s been a long time, too fucking long.” Grey still couldn’t believe she was actually there. The years of their separation seemed to slip away and they were once again two teenagers staring blissfully at one another. “So how have you been?” He asked, “Where have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been surviving, same as you I suppose.” She replied with a smile, the sense of a private joke returning once again to her eyes. “Life is life Grey,” She said in a matter of fact tone, “I imagine it’s treated me the same as it’s treated you. The same goes for where I’ve been. I guess I’ve been in the same places as you, just different locations.” Sam had always been clever, and this was nothing more than a clever way of avoiding the question.

“Well shit Sam,” Grey said with a chuckle, “That’s downright poetic. You sure you aint been studying philosophy somewhere?” Grey was smiling now and it felt good. It had been a very long time since a genuine smile had graced his lips and for a moment he forgot about the last ten years.

“What about you,” she asked, “Where have you been? I’ve been to town a couple of times but you haven’t been around. I asked around about you. It sounds like you became pretty well known in Providence for a while. After that people said you fell off the face of the fucking planet.”

Grey found that he was in no bigger rush than Sam had been to disclose the details of the past ten years. “Oh you know how it goes Sam, sometimes when you can’t run away from who you are the next best thing is to run away from where you are.” After this statement they proceeded to polish off their beers in unison. Sam looked solemnly down at the table and said softly.

“You always did know how to run away Grey.” There was a slight edge to her voice wrapped in great sadness.

“Sam….I just…. You’ll never know how sorry I am….”

“Stop, I’m the one who should be sorry. The past is the past Grey, I shouldn’t have said that. We were kids, and the truth is I still love you like I always did. I don’t want to hold anything against you. Let’s just not talk about it ok?”

“Do you forgive me?” He asked.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it Grey. The past is the past. It wasn’t your fault. Lets just leave it be.”

“They sat in silence for a moment. Grey realized that Shoeless was probably feeling extremely out of place when the silence was finally broken by the voice of the GZ. “What’s up villains, “he exclaimed jovially as he sat down, “Why all the long faces, you two haven’t seen each other in ten fucking years, why you lookin all sad and shit? The way you guys were talking about seeing each other again I woulda thought you be as happy as a couple of faggs in a dick tree by now.”

“Oh we are,” Sam replied, smiling once again, “you just caught us at an awkward moment. I am happy to see you Grey.” She said turning her gaze towards him, “you really have no idea. Of course I don’t know if I’m as happy as a fagg in a dick tree. I imagine that would be one happy faggot, but I am happy to see you.” With this they all laughed, forgetting the past; replacing it with the moment.

“Well shit,” The GZ said after the laughter had subsided, “I gotta go run some errands for a little while, you wanna roll with me Shoeless?”

“Yeah, sure man,” The Shoe quickly answered, clearly happy to be getting out of what he considered to be a highly uncomfortable situation. Not to mention that his introduction to cocaine had left him desperate for more.

“Aright let’s get to it,” The GZ said as he got up from the table, “I have a feeling these two need some time to chop it up for awhile anyway.”

Shoeless looked puzzled, not understanding the expression as he followed the GZ out of the bar.

“Gerald’s right,” Sam said to Grey in the low voice one uses when partaking in an incriminating conversation. “I do need to talk to you,… about something big. I’ve heard that you’ve gone straight, but I need your help. I wouldn’t ask but you’re the only one who can do it.”

Grey braced himself for what was coming.

******

The blind stares of a million pairs of eyes, looking hard but don’t realize that they will never see the P.



Shoeless and the GZ sat in Gerald’s BMW with an unmistakably TuPac track pounding out of the vehicles high dollar sound system doing bumps of coke out of the shell of an old 45.

“Oh man, I felt that one.” Said Shoeless, “Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

“No problem Bro.” The GZ quickly replied. “If Grey thinks enough of you to bring you back to his old stomping ground than your definitely cool enough to ride with me.” The GZ started the car and began to drive away from the bar. “

“I’ve gotta be honest,” the Shoe said, once again feeling talkative. “This is all kinda new to me. I’m used to sittin around getting drunk with a bunch of college kids, not doin blow and rolling around in a BMW with a drug dealer.”

“Now what would make you think that I'm a drug dealer.” The GZ said with a smirk.

“Oh you know, it seems pretty obvious, besides, Grey told me a little bit about you.”

“Oh yeah?” The GZ replied seemingly interested by this. “I don’t suppose he told you just how I became a drug dealer, huh? I bet he didn’t tell you that he used to slang more dope in this town than a fucking monkey throwin shit at the zoo, did he?”

Shoeless laughed at the mental picture the GZ had given him, “Not in quite those words, but I always kinda got the impression he was into some bad stuff back in the day.”

“Yeah man, that motherfucker used to be as street as it gets. You seem like you can handle yourself alright, I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to turn you on to some shit like he did me.”

“I don’t know man, I think he’s changed a lot since he lived here. Whenever he talks about Providence he calls it the bad old days, or something like that. I’m sure I could handle whatever though, Grey just isn't into that kind of thing anymore.” GZ gave the shoe a sidelong glance out of the corner of his eye accompanied by a slow smile. He had him on the line now. It was amazing how a few short moments could change a man’s life forever. The seduction of the streets was a powerful thing, and the GZ was a first class salesman. All he had to do now was real in the Shoe.

“Really, you think you could handle whatever?” The GZ asked with synthetic skepticism.

“Hell yeah I could,” The shoe quickly defended himself, “Man I’m down for whatever, I’m tired of the same old crap. Living in a shitty run down house and seein the same freeloadin kids every night. I’m ready to do something.”

“Really? Well it’s your lucky day then. Cause it just so happens we got something going on here in the next couple of days.” Shoeless was now in the boat.

“Like what?” Shoeless began to feel nervous, as though he had just signed up for something he was unprepared to deal with, but it was too late. “Well, before you let me in, you should know that I’d have to check with Grey, he’s my boy and I’m not doing anything without him.”

Again the GZ's slow smile crept over his face, “I wouldn’t worry about Grey bro, something tells me that he'll be down. Now take another bump and I’ll tell you all about it.”

********

“Why are you asking me to do this Sam?” Grey’s voice trembled on the edge of panic. “Why now?”

“I need this to happen Grey, I’ve got nothing else.” Her blue eyes were once again penetrating his own. “There’s no one else that can do it. You’re the only one who can get in, and I know you’ve done this kind of thing before.”

“Yeah,” Grey replied quickly, sitting back in his chair as though the mere proposal exhausted him. “To a bunch of buster ass dudes, not to anybody like Jacob. What the are you thinking Sam? Are you fucking dope sick? Is that it?”

That’s not it Grey, you know that’s not it. I just can’t live this life anymore, I need this, just this one thing, and then we can leave all this shit behind. We can go off together and never look back. We can go someplace nice, you’ll see.” Her eyes pled with his and at that moment the desperation of her life became visible to anyone who cared to look.

“How the do you even know Jacob.” He asked

“I’ve been in Providence for a little over a year now, I met him at the bar one night. He’s kept me around ever since, and don’t you fucking ask me why cause you all ready know.” She said this with a slight wince, and Grey began to wish that he had kept her as a sweet memory from the past and nothing more.

“I can’t do it Sam, I’m done with that life. I’m sorry but I can’t” As he said this he began to get up but Sam quickly grabbed his arm, her fingernails digging deep into his skin, causing him to meet her eyes yet again.

“You can do it Grey. You can and you will. You owe me Grey. You owe me so much more than this.” The edge had returned to her voice and it was now Grey’s turn to wince.

“I thought that the past was the past Sam.” He whispered.

“It will be,” she replied, “Just do this for me Grey, and it will be. We’ll go away together, someplace nice. We’ll go to Canada. We’ll sit by the ocean all day smoking good BC bud and drinking rye until we both forget that we ever had lives in Kansas.” As she was saying this she slid her hand down from his arm and into his. “Please Grey, you have to do this.”

Grey stared out the window of the bar towards the faintly glowing street lights just outside, unable to look back at Sam; knowing that when he did, his will would surrender to hers.