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A Woman With Depression & Suicidal Thoughts. Basically Her Thoughts And Downward Spiral. |
She Sits There In The Corner Rocking, Slowly, Backwards And Then Fowards. A Murmer Escapes Her Lips Once In A While. The Only Indication Of The Last Shred Of Sanity She Has; Escaping Her Mouth As It Inches Away. Thinking, Plotting, Pllaning How It Will End. Overdose ? Hanging ? Cutting ? Jumping ? Anyway To get Out, Runs Through Her Head. Eyes Staring At The Blank Floor, Breathing Becoming Heavier And Heavier Still. The Rocking Stops As Her Eyes Begin To Dart Around Quickly. She Gets Up, Paces Around A Little, And Then Stops. "You Did This!" She Screams Looking Upwards Towards The Ceiling. "You Left, And Now It's ALl Coming Back, Memories And Emotions Pushign Their Way Back In. So heavy, Their Weight Upon My Shoulders, Pushing Down And Enveloping Me. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT !"She Babbles Frantically. She Paces Some More Before Whispering Calmly, "And I Hate You Everyday." Calmly Walking Towards The Radiator She Reaches Out A Hand And Strokes It Slowly. "It's Cold." She Remarked, To No One But Herself. "Just Like You Were." She Spat The Words Out, As If They Were Venom To Her Tongue. 'You Were Cold, Evil, Just Like The Devil. YOU DID THIS TO ME...YOU DID IT AND THEN YOU LEFT!" She Rambled Again; Collapsing On The Floor In A Fit Of Sobs. "Don't Blame Him, It's Really All Your Fault" Her Conscience Spoke. "You Pushed Him Away, YoU Were Cold, And Guess What ? He Was Glad To Die. He Didn't Have To Look At You Anymore...He Hated You And He Always Will." It Spoke Again. Clutching Her Knee's She Sobbed HYsterically. A Man Enters The Room. "How Are You Doing Today?" He Asked Cautiously. She Looked Up At Him. "How The Hell Do You Think I'm Doing?" She Enquired Slowly. "I Cannot Leave This Room...I'm Locked Inside Day And Night With No-One To Talk To Except For The Doctors Occasional Visits." "I Wish I Could Leave, Just Run Away. I Don't Belong Here." She Added. "I Don't Have A Problem." She Said Calmly, Looking Directly At The Man. The Man Looks At Her Sympathetically Yet Quizically And Proceeds To Scribble On His Clipboard. "What Did You Do This Morning Then?"He Asked, Quickly Changing Subject. She Contemplated His Question With Much Thought, After A Few Minutes She Spoke. "I Woke Up" She Said Simply. "And Then I Walked Around My Room," She Paused. "Again And Again And AGAIN!" She Said, Getting Agitated. "I Wanted To Escape" She Added, As Her Eyes Searched The Room; Looking For An Escape. "But I Couldn't," She Calmed Again. "So I Scratched, An Itch That Wasn't There...I Scratched And Scratched Until My Skin Was Sore And Blood Poured From The Wounds...And It Felt Good" She Spoke, Looking At Her Right Arm; Scratch Marks Were Evident. "Maybe," The Man Said Cautiously. "We Should Get The Nurse In Here, To Look At Your Wounds, Get Them Cleaned Up...Hmm?" He Asked. "The Nurse?" She Spat, Adding A Sarcastic Laugh To The End Of Her Sentance. "No!, She'll Bring Out That Large Pink Bottle, Apply The Liquid To Mm Wounds And Hold It There, Tell Me Everything Will Be Okay And She Begins To Rub The Stinging Liquid Deep Inside...I Scream...No Mercy, I Am Nothing To These People." She Said, Getting Up Slowly. "You Are Something To Them," The Man Said Gently. "You Are Their Patient, They're Here To Look After You...It's There Job" He Added. "Look After Me?" She Repeated, As She Began To Walk Around The Room. "They Do Everything But Look After Me, They Place Me In This..."She Looked Around At The Room. "Cell...Allow Me No Freedom, No Communication." She Continued. "Feeble Amounts Of Food, Shoved Through A Hole In The Door, This Is No Life..." She Said, Walking Slowly To her Bed. She Sits Down. "Perhaps, I Should Could Back Later, I'll Bring The Nurse And We Shall Discuss All Your Concerns." He Said, As He Got Up To Leave. "You Mean, You'll Discuss Me; And Decide What To Do." She Said Calmy. "You Can Go Now." She Added, Sittign On her Bed. She Watched Him Open The Door, Leave And Close The Door. She Listened, Sat In Silence; She Could Hear His Footsteps Echoing Down The Hall As He Walked Away. "Bastard." She Whispered. "FUCKING BASTARD!" She Screamed, A Rage Inside Took Over Her. Getting Up Off Her Bed, She Ran Towards The Wall Opposite And Being Flailing, Punching, Kicking, Screaming. The Anger Was All Escaping Her. "I Hate Him!" She Said To Herself. She Slumped To The Floor, Her Back Against The Wall, She Let Out A Sigh. |