The Sacred Hearts part two: Realization

I watched in sheer terror as Chris fell. I wasn't expecting it. I thought he was fine, that he'd step away, that he might clean up his act, and we could be together again. His words felt like ice on my neck. If you loved me, you'd still be my girl. I couldn't believe he'd said that. I remembered all the great times we had, laying on the hood of his car at night, watching the stars. I remembered how he'd been so sweet. Like when he'd do little things, like hold doors open for me. If he'd known how much it meant to me, I wanted to hold him tight again, and it was too late.

I thought of all this in just a few seconds, while he fell to his death. It was all I could do to stop myself from jumping after him. Holding the tears back, for, as strange as it seems, there were none. I calmly walked off the bridge, and went to the nearest police I could find. I quietly told him the story of what had happened. The cop turned away and said something into his radio. In just a few moments we were surrounded by police and an ambulance. But he's dead, I thought. The first cop told me to go with another one, saying I was probably in shock.

By some miracle, he survived. I couldn't believe it, it was amazing. But, he was in a coma. The doctor said he had no idea how long it would take for him to recover. For three days, I prayed, sat by his hospital bed, held his hand, hoping it might spark something. One day I turned his arm over, and, to my surprise, I saw faint white cuts. There's no way he could have done that during the fall, or even on a rock. These had been self inflicted. I knew it, all the signs were there. During our relationship, I could tell he was doing drugs, I could see it in his eyes. One night, I heard he was at a party, so I went to see him, and I saw one of our friends from school.

"Where's Chris?" I asked.

"He's in one of the bedrooms with Cherry." I could smell alcohol on his breath. That wasn't what was making me sick. Snap back to reality, I was in the hospital. Tears gushing down my face, I ran home, even when my mother asked if i was okay, I shoved her away. I went to the medicine cabinet, took out the first bottle I saw, and poured as many into my mouth as I could.