Reminiscence

~Prologue







    The life monitor hummed with uncertainty. Around her, tubes were strung about like a maze. I cringed at the sight, and patiently waited by her bedside. In the corner of the room hung a painting of a black and white flower. By her bedside were the flowers I’d brung for her.

She would never get the chance to see them.

I told her I wouldn’t leave her until the end.

We would find it together.

When I looked at her, hot tears slid down my cheeks, and I knew we didn’t have much longer. The door to the operating room creaked open, as a man strolled in silently, carefully clicking the door shut behind him. He flipped though a few pages of his notepad. I knew what the end would look like with these eyes. The doctor sat by my side, putting his arm around my shoulder.

I placed my head into my hands and wept. Who would think you could lose it all from one mistake.



      Her hands spoke of peace. Even in her last moments here with me, every inch of her expressed perfection. Her dulled black hair; usually glistening in the sunlight. Her ice blue eyes hidden now behind tired eyelids that usually embodied understanding and simplicity. Her calm face was neither happy nor sad, but seemed to smile quietly and inwardly. A stoic personality. An unsurpassed girl. She was the girl whom everyone could trust, everyone could appreciate her for who she was. Her presence played a requiem, a memorial. She played a final epitaph for the human race.





~Chapter I    Requiem





    Her name was Dezerea Elizabeth Rolland.

“...The most wonderful and beautiful girl on the face of this world.” My voice cracked on the last sentence. I looked up from my speech to clumsily adjust my tie. Why the hell did I have this paper anyways? There was nothing to say. “She was smart, talented, stunning, and the best girlfriend a teenage boy could ask for.” The guests stared down at their hands neatly folded across their laps. Why did I have to be here? ...I knew exactly why. “Her personality was indescribable. I enjoyed every second being with her. Well...except that time Arthur placed laxatives in her drink.” I looked up and grinned. The wooden benches shook with the soft laughter of family and friends. Plainly glancing back to the paper I continued. “She could make anyone happy, while she valued others more than herself.” “Her promises were always kept. What a wonderful role model she was...” I stopped. I couldn’t do this. I glared at my paper then my mother from the podium, right now I hated her.  All I saw from my speech was scattered letters, ruined dreams, and a soon forgotten life. I tore it between my fingers and stiffly set my hands onto the podium and looked through the faces of the crowd in disgust.

She would never be there.

“I told her I would never give up on her.”

“I told her we would always be together.”

“I told her I wouldn’t cheat on her.”

“I told her I loved her.”

Guests looked up from their laps with questioning, shocked expressions.

“...I lied.”

People were left speechless, their jaws hanging open in surprise. Their eyes expressing hurt, agony and madness all at once.

...My confessions were not only to the crowd, but to the world. My story, not only for her, but all of mankind. My reminiscence of Dezerea.





~Chapter II  Dignity





    I kept telling myself “Today is the day”. I kept telling myself “Today is the day I would finally gather up enough nerves to ask Dezerea Rolland to be my girlfriend.” Today was never the day. Today was never the day until three months later on January 23rd. Three months of struggling with myself, creating my perfect scheme, my perfect plan, to finally ask her out. The light from my ceiling fan reflected off of my black cell phone as I carefully picked it up and flipped it open. With my free hand I drummed my fingers on the desk. I have to do this. I pressed speed dial #1,  put the phone up to my ear and heard three rings. After the third ring a “Hello?” I froze, and swallowed. “Hey Dezerea, it’s Alex.” Her voice rose to an excited shrill. “Hey  How are you?” “I’m good, I’m good. Hey, this is kind of sudden, but do you think you could meet me at the park?” “Uh, sure, I’m not doing anything else today. I’ll meet you there in five minutes?” I smiled. “Alright, cool, I’ll see you then.” I closed my phone and beamed with happiness. I could do this. I stood up proudly and quickly walked into the living room. “Where do you think you’re going?” My mom turned her attention away from the big screen tv. “I’m going to meet some friends, just a for a little while. I’ll be home soon, promise.” Before she could say anything I grabbed my jacket from the hanger and quickly pulled open the door, closing it with a ‘thud’. As I took my first steps outside of the comfort of my home, I realized I had just taken my first step into a world of perfection.







~Chapter III    Perfection





    I waited for her by a bench beside the lake. The massive Oak tree shaded the area beneath it. Five minutes went by as I waited. I would wait a lifetime for her if I had to. I sat down on the bench as the icy wind blew across my hair. The sound of the Oak’s rustling leaves calmed my mood as I anticipated her arrival. The glistening lake in front of me softened my eyes and relaxed my tensed muscles. I turned my view to the left and saw her walking down the pathway to where I was sitting. I took in a deep, painful breath of cold air and sat up straighter to get a better view. She smiled and waved as she came closer, sitting down next to me. “How are you?” She asked with a smile. “Pretty good.” I grinned back. “So...what did you need exactly?” She folded her hands over her lap. “Okay, this is going to sound really weird, uh, or maybe not.” I took a breath. I was cracking under pressure. She looked at me questionably. “Dezerea.” I knew she felt uncomfortable and awkward. I decided to skip the small talk and get to the point. “...Will you go out with me?” A worried expression was plastered to my face as I tried to smile. After a few painful moments a grin occupied her features as she hugged me. I felt like I was about to spontaneously combust with happiness. She whispered “Yes” and in that moment I felt my life sew itself into completion.