Stupid Radio

    Religion is one thing I never thought I'd be getting involved in until the fateful day.  Oh, well, I guess that isn't the best way to start  telling you about my life is it?  I was once your average person, I went to work, paid my bills, I even ate Chinese food on a regular basis.  You see I was in a little bit of slump in my life when it started.  My job was going nowhere and my love life was...wait I had one of those? I digress.  But my point is that my life was bad.  It was so bad that I decided to try to kill myself one night.  It was the worst day of my old life, but the best day of my new life.  You see my method of choice was to slit my wrists.  I had broken a mirror a few days earlier and decided it the best thing to use.  I sat down in the Lazy Boy in my front room and turned on the radio.  I guess it's kind of ironic now that I think about it.  I was getting ready to do the deed when the phone rang.  I picked it up only to hear the nagging voice of my ex-wife.
    "I thought I told you to sign those papers!"
    "I signed them, you'll get them soon."  I replied.  We had been going through a divorce for about a year and a half now.  She had been trying to force me to sign the papers for quite sometime.  I refused to sign because our daughter was still very young and wouldn't understand.  Funny how I thought it would be better that I killed myself than I left her and her mother.
    "I better get those papers by next Friday!" she shot back at me.
    "Don't worry you'll have them."  I hung up the phone because talking to her about our daughter made what I was about to do much more difficult.  I remembered the time I first took my daughter to the movie theater.  She was so excited that she wasted all her energy being excited for the movie and that when it came time she was fast asleep before the previews were over.  I felt something warm running down my cheek.  I raised my hand to wipe away the tears.  I was sorry that this is what my life came to.  I lifted the mirror shard to look at it.  The one side was a gray looking material, but the other side when I looked at it didn't show my face.  It was the face of someone I didn't recognize.  Well, it was me but this person was somebody different.  I remember this kid who had an outlook at life that could make the biggest sap story look like a paper-cut compared to how good life could be.  But now this person acted like a paper-cut was some higher powers way of taking a royal shit on you.
    After examining the mirror for a few minutes I slowly moved it toward my wrist.  The mirror felt warm to my flesh but got cold as it tore into my veins.  I switched hands and cut the other wrist but at this point in time I couldn't feel it anymore because the loss of blood.  After sitting there for a few minutes my head became heavy.  "Time to go to sleep now, honey" I said to my daughter one hundred miles away, and closed my eyes.  A few things passed through my mind as I sat there dying.  One was my daughter and the other was how I'd miss so much of her life.  In this moment I pleaded to God.  I asked him to watch after her and to help her understand.  Then a blinding light shone through my eyelids.  There was a figure in front of me.
    "My name is not God." It said in the softest and sweetest voice I'd ever heard.  My eyes started to adjust to the light and the figure took a little more form.  It was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.  "In fact you know my name.  You can say it."
    "I...I do?" I replied.
    "Come on dad, don't you recognize your little girl?"  I started to cry again.  "Oh dad you're making me blush."
    "But...But you're only five years old?"
    "Yeah right now I am.  One day though I'll grow up."  She had the most caring smile ever.  I looked into her eyes and knew that it was her.  I can't believe my little girl could be so beautiful.  "Dad, you don't have to worry about me understanding."
    "I don't"
    "Of course not.  I love you with all my heart and always will."  I started to ball at this point.  I tried to stand up but could only move my head around.  I must have lost too much blood to stand up.
    "Will you please hold me"  I said to her.  She smiled that same smile she did before and said, "Come and hold me dad."
    "I can't stand honey."
    "Yes you can just try."  I gave it one more attempt and my arms and legs started to move to pick myself up.  I noticed the cuts on my wrists were gone.  I walked toward my daughter and embraced her like I hadn't seen her in a long time.  She was so warm that I never wanted to let go of her.  She slowly pushed me a little bit away just enough so she could say something to me.  "Dad you don't have to worry about some person named 'God' watching after me.  You can do it yourself."
    "But honey I..."
    "No you didn't."  She interrupted me and gave that same smile.  I blinked and my eyes started to open slowly.  The figure that was in front of me had faded.  I looked at my hands, and the mirror that I had cut myself with had no blood on it.  My wrists were not cut either.  I looked at my phone and it said the time was 4:47.  I must have fallen asleep, I thought to myself.  I stood up and walked toward the radio and turned it off.  Stupid thing always put's me straight to sleep.  I looked at my chair in time to see blood evaporating from it.  I realized at this point that everything actually happened.  Something wanted me to stay alive.  The next day I went to work and quit.  I called up my wife and told her I wanted to meet.  But that's a different story.