New Light out of the Darkness

New Light out of the Darkness
by Cat Walker



It was a beautiful day and Annie was going to enjoy every minute of it outside.  A nice long walk around the lakes and then she would jump in her car and head out for one of the state parks. 

It was still fairly early, and with a large cup of coffee in hand; she cranked her headphones and headed out for her walk.  It was three short blocks down to the lake and Annie moved on automatic pilot.  She wasn’t quite awake yet, but it was just too nice out to wait another hour in bed. Turning the corner at the end of her block she was about to cross the street when the house next to her exploded; the force of the explosion lifted her up and threw her into a street sign.  She was knocked out instantly. 


*******************************

Six Months Later


Opening her eyes, Annie blinked several times before her vision cleared.  ‘Where the hell was she?’    Her limbs felt like lead.  Turning her head she surveyed her surroundings.  It appeared that she was in the ICU unit of a hospital.  Frowning, she tried to remember what had happened. A young doctor walked into the room, head down, looking over a chart.  He didn’t seem to notice her.  Stopping at the foot of the bed she was lying in, he picked up her chart and glanced over it. 

“Hello” Annie whispered.  Her throat felt raw.  The young doctor looked up - shocked.  “My God” he whispered in return.  “You’re awake.” 

Annie tried to push down the panic she felt raising in her chest. “Yes, but why does that surprise you?”  But instead of answering her he ran to the door and called for assistance. 
“Wait, please.  What’s wrong with me?”  She was starting to loose the battle over her panic and she wanted to sit up but she couldn’t seem to muster up the strength to do so.  Closing her eyes she tried to control her breathing.  Hyperventilating would not help anything.  “What is it Johnson?”  “She’s awake sir.”  “Dr. Johnson, I assume you have read the young lady’s charts.” “Yes sir.”  “And you are aware that occasionally a patient will experience residual reactions.” “She spoke to me sir.” 

Annie couldn’t take it anymore; if she listened to this conversation much longer she would hyperventilate herself into a heart attack.  Opening her eyes, she turned her head toward the arguing Doctors.  “Dr. Johnson’s telling the truth.” she finally whispered.  “Now could someone please tell me what this is all about?” 


”Mother of God.” the new Doctor said out loud before he recovered from his shock.  “I’m sorry  I’m Dr. Weiler.  I’m in charge of the neurological department here at Fairview.  You’ve really surprised us.”  “Why is that?” she whispered. “Can you tell me your name?  “Stephannie Clark. Why?”  “Well, Ms. Clark, you’ve been in a coma.”

”How long?” she held her breath, afraid of what the answer would be.  “Six months.  You weren’t expected to come out of it.”    Annie felt the room spin before she was covering with a black blanket as she fainted. 

“I want a complete work up done on her.”  Dr. Weiler said to the young intern.  “I want to know what’s going on with her.  Whatever woke her up… it’s a God damn miracle.” 

*******************

Annie was tired.  Tired of lying around. Tired of being poked by needles.  Tired of the tests.  She wanted to go home.  Where ever home was.  After six months, she had learned that her apartment had been re-rented.  Her belongings had been put in storage.  Her prognosis hadn’t been promising and although her company had continued medical benefits for her, her job had been given to someone else. 

Turning her head, she saw that Dr. Weiler was talking with another man.  “What do you think John?  Can her brain really be functioning at these levels?”    Annie frowned.  It was surprising to her that she could hear them so well.  But then again, since she had woken up she could hear a lot of things.  Things she really couldn’t explain. 

The man named John frowned down at her chart.  She heard him say, ‘I’d like to take a peak in that brain.’

‘Not on your life buddy.’ She thought.

John looked up and caught her eyes.  It was then that she realized that she hadn’t seen him lips move.  ‘Oh God’ she whispered before turning her head from him.  Closing her eyes she tried to block out the thoughts that were racing thru her head.  “No no no...” she had to be mistaken.  She was tired and just hadn’t noticed his lips move.  And it was just a coincidence that he had looked up at her when he did.  “Ms. Clark?”

Annie opened her eyes, and found the man standing next to her bed.  “I’m Dr. John English.  Dr. Weiler has asked me to take a look at your medical chart.”  Annie decided that she wouldn’t let on what she thought was happening to her…  if she did they’d probably put her in the psych ward.  Forcing a smile to her lips she said, “It’s nice to meet you Dr. English.  I hope you are here with good news.  When can I go home?”  John smiled at her.  “Well, that all depends.  I’d like to run a couple of more tests.”  “What kind of tests?”  Annie tried not to sound suspicious.  “Kind of a mental endurance test.”    “Why?” 

“Ms. Clark, you were in a coma for over six months.  Frankly, the location of the injury that caused the coma was very dangerous.  It was considered unlikely that you would ever recover.  The fact that you have is really nothing short of a miracle.  Your physical therapists tell us that you have been working very hard to regain the strength you lost.  Now, I want to see how your mental strength is doing.”   

“I feel fine.”  She said.  “Dr. English, I’m sure you have my best interest in mind, but I already ran the gauntlet of tests.  I really just want to get on with my life.  I’m sure you can appreciate that.” 

John turned and closed the door giving them some privacy.  “Annie, I think you know that there’s a little more going on in that brain of yours.  I’d like to help you.” 

Annie swallowed back the fear that rose up in her throat.  Looking in his eyes, she tried to sound convincing.  “Dr. English, the only thing that’s going on in my brain is wondering how I’m going to make up for the time I lost.”    John opened his mouth to respond, but she continued, “I’m sure my recovery has been a surprise, but other than feeling a little weak from not moving for the last six months, nothing has changed.  Nothing.”  She said with conviction.

“We both know better Annie.  But I won’t push you.  I’ll leave you my card, should you change your mind. “ 

Annie took the card that was handed to her and looked down at it.  ‘Dr. Jonathan English, Neurologist/Parapsychologist.’   

Turning, John stopped at the door.  Looking back at her he said, “I know you’re frightened right now Annie.  You can’t explain what’s happening to you and you’re worried that if anyone knows what’s going on in your head that they’ll think your crazy.  You aren’t.  You woke up from a long sleep and you came back with a tremendous gift.  I can help you.” 

Annie shook her head in denial. 

“I’ll sign the waiver for your release; you can leave as soon as your physical therapists give you the ok.  You have my card, Annie.  I’ll wait for your call.”  Then he left the room.  Annie looked down at the card again and fought the urge to rip it up.  She knew he was right.  She wasn’t sure how he knew, but at least he hadn’t called the psych ward.  Closing her eyes she wanted this nightmare to end.  She could hear the voices.  The voices of those around her.  The thoughts of those around her.  She understood that now.  He had called it a gift.  Right now she would argue that with him.  It wasn’t a gift.  More like a curse.  But at least she was out of that coma, and she would learn how to turn the voices off.  She had to; otherwise she was sure she would go crazy.  But she would do it on her own.  She didn’t need to become someone’s lab rat.

*******************

Annie woke with a start.  God, what a nightmare.  She had felt like she had been there, being pulled into the danger.  The fire.  It had been as if she was the woman in the fire.  She could feel her fear, her pain.  Well, she knew that she couldn’t go back to sleep. No way was she going to risk being pulled back into that nightmare again. 

Sliding out of the bed, she pulled on her robe, slid her feet into the hospital slippers and headed down the hall.  She wanted to clear her mind of the terror she had felt when she had been in the dream. 

After wandering around for about fifteen minutes, she found herself standing in the emergency room.  She could hear the sirens of an approaching ambulance and she suddenly knew who it carried.  She felt her legs beginning to give way, and slid into a near by chair and waited, praying that she would be wrong. 

“What have you got?” the nurse asked the paramedic, “Female, 50 years of age.  She got caught in a fire.  We’ve resuscitated her, but….”  “Get her into room number 2.”  “Family?” 

A daughter, Annie thought to herself.  Oh God. 

A young woman entered the emergency room five minutes later and Annie could feel her pain.  Her anguish.  She couldn’t stop the tears. 

“Miss, are you alright?”  A young nurse was standing next to Annie, looking down at her.  Annie looked up at her, but she turned back toward the door.  She had felt him as he walked in the door.  ‘Please, help her.’ she thought, hoping that he would hear her as she was sure he had heard her before. ‘Annie…’  she could hear him, ‘Please, she needs your help.’  John looked over at the young woman Annie was referring to.  Annie closed her eyes as she felt him start to sooth the tormented woman. 

Annie finally looked up at the young nurse.  “I’m alright.  Thank you.  I think I better go back to my room.”  As she stood up to leave, she felt John looking at her, she whispered, “Thank you” before turning and returning to her room.

Lying back down, Annie reached for her headphones and cranked the music, hopeful that it would drown out the thoughts and keep the nightmares at bay.

***************

Two hours later John peeked into her room, and found her fast asleep.  He wanted to talk to her, to help her.  He could feel her pain.  It was tearing him apart, but he wouldn’t intrude.  Not yet.  He knew that she was trying to deal with it on her own.  Why she had gone down to the ER was a mystery to him, but he knew that she had been drawn into the pain, just as he had been.  He told himself that the fact that she had asked for his help was a good sign.  Maybe she would come see him sooner than later.  She obviously knew her limitations. 

Closing the door, he left her to sleep, to regain her strength.  An event like that would have drained her and right now she was still very fragile.  He would have to tell her to stay away from the ER.  She wouldn’t welcome his advice, but he would give it anyway. 

*****************

It was 10 am before he was able to get back to the hospital.  He had had a busy morning at the clinic.  One of his team had had a rough night and John had been up most of the night talking him down.  But now he had to concentrate on Annie.  She wouldn’t like his interference, but it was for her own good.  He had seen new talent burn out too fast and he wasn’t about to let that happen to her.  She was much too valuable.    But when he opened the door to her room he found the bed had been stripped.    Walking up to the nurse’s station he asked where Ms. Clark had been moved to.  “She’s been discharged Doctor.”  John held back the curse that sprang to his lips.  “Thank you.” he replied instead.  “Do you have an address for her?”    The nurse looked down at the discharge papers.  “Sorry, it’s listed as unknown.”   

Nodding, John walked down the hall and out of the hospital.  ‘Where are you Annie?’  He couldn’t feel her…  he had thought the brief contact they had shared may have given him a edge but now he knew he had been wrong.  She was gone, and all he could do now is wait for her to surface again.

***************************


3 months later


Annie was feeling confident.  It was time to move back into civilization.  When she had left the hospital she had ran.  Taking all the cash she had out of the bank, she had headed north – into the woods, away from people and their thoughts.  She knew she couldn’t live as a hermit the rest of her life, but the isolation gave her time to heal.  She had been diligent in her therapy.  At least that was what she was calling it.  She had taught herself how to tune out the thoughts, or to concentration just on one or two if need be.  She considered it an invasion of privacy when she listened, but she also knew that someday she may need to know how to listen.  The nightmares hadn’t returned.  Thank god.  She wasn’t sure why she had had that particular nightmare.  It had scared her and it was something she never wanted to experience ever again.  Perhaps it had just been the trauma of coming out of the coma.  What ever had caused it, it hadn’t happened again.  It was time she decided.  Time to go back home and find her place in the world.

Before her accident she had worked as a legal assistant at a small law firm.  She had always wanted to help people, but now being a legal assistant didn’t seem to hold the same draw as it once had.  She had decided that she would go back to school and get a degree in social work.  Perhaps with her new knowledge and her new gift she would be able to help people as she never could have before. 

********************************

Her new apartment was small, but she loved it.  She would be starting classes at the end of the month, and Annie had found a part time job at the local library.  It paid just enough to pay the bills and her tuition.  And with the money she had left over from the law suit that followed her accident, she felt that she was sitting fairly comfortably.  She was feeling that she was finally getting her life back.  That in itself put a smile on her face. 

*************************************

I’m going to kill you bitch!  Please no…  She was in the dream again.  God it hurt.  He was punching her again and she couldn’t stop the pain. She couldn’t run.  Please stop.  She heard the woman pleading with the man.  “I’ll stop alright.  When I’m damn well ready.”  Annie felt the punch and started to shake in horror when she saw the man reach for the gasoline.  No!” she screamed.

  Annie was drenching wet.  Her body hurt and she knew with out a doubt that she had just witnessed a murder.  But how the hell was she ever going to convince anyone else of that?  She had been dreaming.  Wait, maybe it was just a dream.  Maybe she was wrong.  She prayed that she was wrong. 

But as the morning news came on, she knew that she had once again been drawn into a living nightmare.  Sitting down at her kitchen table she couldn’t help the tears of fear and frustration.
‘How the hell could she fight this?’  She had learned a lot over the last few months.  She had learned to control where she focused her thoughts.  But how was she supposed to control her dreams? 

Glancing up at the bulletin board she had near the wall phone she spied a possible answer.  She hadn’t known why she hadn’t thrown the card away.  He had offered her help; but what kind of help?  She was leery of trusting anyone with the knowledge of her new skills, let alone a neurosurgeon.  But where else could she turn.  She needed professional help. She knew that, but was Dr. John English the answer?




The clinic looked more like a law firm than a doctor’s office. When Annie walked in, she was greeted by a large reception desk, with an efficient looking receptionist sitting behind it.

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I’d like a word with Dr. English please.” 

“Do you have an appointment?” 

“No, not technically.  It’s more of a standing arrangement.”

“Dr. English is in with someone right now, if you don’t mind waiting for a few moments, I’ll let him know that you are here.  May I get your name?”

“Annie”  she simply said.

The woman seemed at ease with just the first name, and Annie was grateful for that.  She was nervous to let anyone know she was there, and wanted to remain anonymous if possible. 


The client waiting area held a flat screen TV, that had the volume turned down very low,  but Annie wasn’t interested in watching it.  She didn’t want anything distracting her.  She wanted to keep her thoughts focused.  Since she had walked into the office she had felt something pushing at her –the pressure on her brain was giving her a slight headache.  She felt sure that someone was trying to read her mind, and they were trying to push their way in.  She wouldn’t let them.  Not until she was ready.  So, she busied herself with studying the photos on the wall.  In addition to several landscape scenes, she saw a number of pictures showing Dr. English receiving various awards. 


Feeling someone join her, she turned her head and found a young man staring at her.  The frown on his forehead told her that he was concentrating on something.  “You’re one of his aren’t you.”  The young man suddenly spat out at her.  Annie frowned back, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  “Oh yes you do.”  The young man replied.  “How do you do it?” 

“Do what?”

“Don’t give me that shit.  You know exactly what I’m talking about.  How’d you block me?”

Before Annie could respond, Dr. English appeared at the doorway.  “Leave her alone Steve.”

Steve nodded toward Annie.  “She’s another one of your freaks isn’t she.  I don’t like competition English.  I told you before.  I won’t tolerate any one honing in on my territory.”


Dr. English raised his eyebrow and although his voice was calm, Annie could sense the anger behind it.  “It seems that you’ve been trying to trespass again Steve.  Now that is something I will not tolerate.  I think you should go back to your room now and we will discuss your lack of discipline a little later.”

Steve looked back at Annie before swearing and heading out of the room.

“Ms Clark, if you could just step into my office.”

Annie hesitated for a moment.  She wasn’t completely sure what had just transpired, but she was starting to have doubts about her decision to seek out Dr. English’s help. 

“Annie?”  John could see the question and the doubt in her eyes. 

Annie looked away and her eyes fell upon the TV.  The memory of her nightmare came rushing back into her mind and she knew that what ever else happened, she needed to see if he could help her control them.

Nodding, she followed him into his office. 

Closing the door behind them, John motioned toward a chair, can I offer you anything to drink?  Coffee, water? 

Annie shook her head as she took one of the chairs he had indicated.  John took the other chair and waited for her to begin.  Annie looked around the room, trying to see if she could gage what type of man Dr. English was.  The office was classically decorated with a large Queen Anne desk, leather chairs and several bookshelves lined with books on psychology, history and surprisingly she noted a number of gardening books. 

“Do you get out to garden much?”

The question surprised him, and he smiled at it.  “Not as much as I’d like.  It’s a great outlet, and there’s really nothing like seeing your work come to life.” 

Annie nodded in understanding, then turned and studied the man before her.  Dr. John English was a handsome man.  Mid to late 40s, with a full head of hair, a square jaw line, and deep brown eyes that conveyed a calmness. 

“I’m glad you came to see me, Annie.”  Annie looked down at her hands and frowned. 
“It’s obvious that you’ve worked very hard to master your gift.”  Annie looked up at him and shook her head in denial.  “Annie, believe me.  You’ve come a long way.  That fact that you could block Steve is evidence of that.”   

Annie turned her head and looked out the large window that faced the street.  Outside the sun was shining, and the rays seemed to bounce off the leaves of the large oak tree that sat a few yards from the building.  “I didn’t really know what was happening;  I just felt the pressure and blocked it out.”    Looking down at her hands she saw that she had locked her fingers and was pressing them together.  Slowly untangling her fingers, she took a deep breath and looked back to look at the doctor.  “You’re right about one thing.  I have been working hard to get a handle on this new experience.  I’m still learning, but I suspect that is normal.” 

“But that isn’t why you came to see me, is it?”

Annie closed her eyes briefly.  “No it isn’t.”  “Do you remember the last time we saw each other?” she asked him.

“Yes I do.  It was in the emergency room at the hospital.”

“Do you know why I was there?”  She whispered, secretly hoping that he would somehow know what she had experienced.

“Not completely…  I assume that you had been drawn in by the thoughts.”


John noticed Annie’s frown and the shiver that ran thru her.  “Annie?” 

“It was the dream.” She whispered. 

“The dream?”  John leaned toward her and slowly took her hands into his.  “What dream Annie?” 

Annie looked into his eyes and knew she had to tell him everything if he was going to help her, and right now she felt sure he would be the right person to trust with her secret.

“I thought I was having a dream.  A nightmare.  I woke up and decided I didn’t want to get pulled back into it, so I took a walk around the hospital.  I wandered into the Emergency room, and I heard the sirens, and I knew.  I knew that it hadn’t been a dream.  I knew that I had been with that poor woman in the fire.” 

Annie closed her eyes and tried to push back the tears that threaten to spill over.  “When I left the hospital, I ran” Opening her eyes again she looked in the handsome doctors eyes and found herself telling him everything.  “I hid away where no one would be around. After about a week or two I decided that I had to get a handle on what was happening to me.  After a few months I felt sure I could control it.  I hadn’t had anymore nightmares, so I figured that it had been an isolated occurrence.”   

Sliding her hands out of his grasp, she stood up and walked over to look out the window.  “That was until last night.” 

“What happened?”

Turning around, she leaned back against the window and replied, “I had another nightmare.  And this morning when I turned on the news, I discovered that it hadn’t been a dream after all.”  She couldn’t help the tears, and she brushed them away.  “I’ve learned to how to turn off the voices.  I’ve taught myself to concentrate and not hear everyone’s thoughts.  But I don’t know how to stop from being sucked into someone else’s nightmare.  How do I fight this when I’m a sleep?”