Perfection to the point of ugliness

How do you define perfection? Beauty, has become such a subjective issue that everyone looks at them differently. Personally, I am someone who is very self-consicous of my body. I suffered from anorexia and bullima for a few years when I was younger. I still am very afraid of how I looked in photos, very consicous of whatever I wear, and yet sometimes I feel, beauty is a curse. Looking good all the time can be a stressful routine, because you have an image to keep up. Let’s face it, imagine you wearing your Prada shoes and Gucci shades with a matching tote bag topped up from Marc Jacobs. The next day, you’re wearing a junksuit clearing your trash or just running errands and you bump into someone you know, which is nothing rare if you live in Singapore. Mortification arises in within you, and you feel like you want to crawl into a hole and never get out. Also, being a woman, if you have the looks, it is difficult to find platonic friendships of the opposite sex, and it is definitely true. I used to think that men and women can have platonic friendships. Screw that shit. Seriously, screw that theory. I only realized it after 25 years. Isn’t that pathetic? All the male “ friends” that I had always have intentions of bedding me, or at least try to. Maybe it’s the wrong signals I’m giving them, or maybe sometimes if you’re considered liberal in the way you speak, like being affectionate when you greet them or taking intimate pictures with them, they perceive you as “easy”, “ available”, or plainly, a slut. Sometimes you cannot blame them. We live in a conservative society. Traditional is not the word. Conservative. But that is straying away from the topic.

Perfection also comes in terms of what you wear, what cologne or perfume you use, the car you drive. If you’re born god damn ugly but you have a fantastic Jaguar or a Ferrari, you’re considered “acceptable”. I find that mentality sad, but honestly, I am superficial, and I feel the same way too. We are just too sold to the Americanized culture of being all gangsta and rollin rich. But to me, the true beauty of a person derives from the way they treat others. I fell in love with a man because I see him making the effort to drive fourty miles to donate clothes to the Salvation Army, and write cheques to legit charity organizations. That itself, is beauty, inside and outside. But gone were the days where people donate money purely to help people. Even Oprah Winfrey donated her billions of money as an act of public relation marketing. Why do they have to announce to the whole world about how much they donated if you really wanted to help? That is purely advertising. Pretty fucked up, if you ask me. There are a only few true Samaritans that donates money anoymously, and people call them eccentric. I call them, beauty to the point of perfection.

What you watch on television nowadays, if you sing well, you have to look good as well. Look at Rubben Studdard from American Idol, he’s dead. The only ones you see walking on the red carpets winning Grammys are the American sweethears like Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson. Gone were the days where Slash can wear a bucket over his head and people find him irresistible. Here comes a generation of Jonas Brothers, and even reality shows, if you really call them reality, have people that look nearly to perfection. What’s the point then? Can we really relate to them. Look like shows like “The Hills” and “The City”, who looks so perfect all the time? With beautifully manicured hands to flawless makeup and never a hair out of place. And please, in a recent episode, one of the character got a job within 2 minutes into a show. Get real people, it’s because you look good and probably slept with the EP of the show.

The perception of beauty has grown so ugly now that there is nothing in fine line to differentiate anymore. All we can do is watch, shut up and live in our realistically ugly lives.