Love and Redemption

I remember standing in the corner
Of my grandparents yard
Staring up at just one piece
Of an endlessly blue sky
White wisps of clouds
Shifting, twirling, and dancing across
The lengths of an immense stage.

I remember the Valentines Day on the dim lit dance floor
The crowd of people’s faces all blending into one
The two of us sneaking outside
Your warm, hard body
Pressing against my cold, shivering and frightened one
The smell of your old leather jacket
As our lips found each others for the first time.

I remember the sky becoming dark
The angry thunder clouds blocking the sun
The blinding flash of lightening
The booming clap of thunder
Rain flooding the ground around us
We decided not to be the losers who kissed in the rain
Instead we lost ourselves and played in it.

I remember the argument in the parking lot
My car door slamming
The screech of my tires as I peel out
Cars flying by as I sped past them
Tears streaming from my eyes
Down my checks,
The heartache of losing you.

I remember the pain
My inability to cope with it
The burning feeling as I stuck the needle
Into my flesh
The thick, red blood as it pooled
From my arms after I the drug the razor across
The misplaced self-destruction.

I remember the old cracked and warped pier
The boards creaking as I walked to its edge
And I looked up at the same sky I use to,
Glowing orange and red with the sunset
It was a different part of the sky
A different part of my life, but still of the same whole
And I prayed for help.