Fighting the Light

When you look up, what do you see? The ceiling. But what do you see when you look up outside? You see the sky, the fluffy clouds, the birds fluttering by, the – OUCH! What was that!? Oh, it was just the Sun temporarily impairing your vision again. You regard this as normal, but is it? Why would such a universally revered celestial body do such a misdeed to your eyes? The answer to that question lies within a story that takes place quite a bit of time ago…

The solar system, believe it or not, is not at peace. It never has been. And if you have ever spoken with a planet, you would know that this solar disaccord is the direct result of the Sun’s belligerent narcissism. Seriously, try talking to a planet. They make for some highly interesting conversationalists.

Long long ago, the Sun demanded that it be the center of the universe, and that all other planetary bodies revolve around it. Unable to douse the Sun’s great fire, the planetary bodies were forced to reluctantly acquiesce. Yet the Sun was not content. Soon enough, all of the planetary bodies and even the breathing air around them were to maintain a specified distance (millions and millions of miles) from the Sun, a sort of planetary restraining order. Again, all of the planets had to oblige. Still, the Sun was not satisfied. The Sun proceeded to ban other planets (and later beings) from making eye contact with it, so as to belittle any party who wished to speak with it. The punishment for defying this command: blindness. The planets had had enough of the Sun’s irrational demands, but they could not act upon their feelings. Then everything changed.

The Earth was chosen as the site to host life. While the planets were celebrating the Earth’s achievement, the Sun was plotting its attack on the only challenge to its power in the entire universe, the Earth. Shortly after the planetary karaoke, the Sun came bolting down on the party. The planets were soaring across space as fast as they could to escape the Sun’s wrath, but the Sun was only hunting for the soil of the Earth. The Sun was gaining on the Earth when suddenly, a giant rock collided into the Sun, rescuing the Earth. The rock succeeded in salvaging the Earth from the menacing Sun; however, it was blinded in the process. The rock was the universe’s newest superstar. Its name: The Moon.

The Moon knew that the Earth could not survive the Sun defenseless, so it offered to be the Earth’s permanent bodyguard, encircling the Earth to protect it from all angles (with pay, of course). To assist the Moon in its journeys around the Earth, scores of large balls of exploding gas, otherwise known as stars, began to light up the way for the poor blind Moon. The other planets came to the realization that they too would require protection from the Sun, so they hired their own personal “Moons”. Some planets still need to come up with the funds to purchase one of these pricey Moons for themselves, but knowing how the planets overcame such an evil force in this story, they can most definitely do the same in their fundraising efforts.