My obsession with a writer |
The human mind is hard to comprehend. As many have tried to come up with theories, be it whether to say if humans are born kind, or born evil, it has been overstated in terms of religion, school of thoughts, psychoanalysis and other forms of human perception. But if you really want a personal opinion, every individual is different. Humans are not complex by nature, They only tend to complicate themselves because they feel that sometimes by trying to make themself obscure, reclusive, they tend to escape realism of the society we are living in. They are some people that are born with high intellect, but low in terms of EQ, and vice versa. I know this might sound contradictory to what I was saying earlier, I don’t mean they are naturally born with it, it is just the way they are brought are, exposed to the society, and influenced very much by their family and mostly their peers. I have met so many children in my family as I come from a very huge family. Some of my nephews and nieces are very smart in terms of the way they speak to you, they know what they want, are assertive even in their tender ages. But there are others that hardly speak, hide behind the safe comfort of their parents, but there is something so beautiful and alluring about them that you tend to want to interact with them more and try to get to know them better. As we grow older, many things we observe, experience and learn, we tend to develop an individual personality. Family relationships, love relationships and friendships tend to change a person’s character to a certain deep extent. The amount of hurt, pain, love that one goes through slowly develop’s a person to become what they are. Some become jaded, some become depressive, some become paranoid, some just gets so emotional that they feel like they just rather be alone than go through the same amount of pain again and again. I believe we are all drifters who cross paths, be it becoming friends, lovers, acquaintances, or commited partners. Actually what inspired me to write this piece is about this guy I have been studying for awhile now. I do not know him personally, but I have seen his writing, and from what I have seen in his blog or the way he presents himself in terms of his pictures, I know that deep inside his tender age of 20, he has so many pent up frustrations inside that he keeps to himself but use acting and writing as a medium to vent out his pain. I guess that’s why we have so many singers, writers and actors in the world who use this platform to indulge whatever they are feeling in the moment where they are performing. Let’s go back to this person that fascinated me so much. What he writes on his blog just keeps me so addicted. He writes about world views, he writes about human nature, and he have taught me in certain ways through his writing how I should write as well. There are the rare times where he writes about love, sometimes he would write a song for a girl, but never mentioning her name, or sometimes he just writes a random blog where you can literally hear him screaming his pain out because the relationship between the girl and him could not work out, and he is someone I would say many women would desire for. In the end, what he could do was to indulge in the vices many would turn to, drugs, cocaine, casual sex, basically, living life like there is no tomorrow. He has an enstranged family, and the only person close to him is his sister. His father basically threw him out of the house because he failed his random drug tests and he had to live in a shelter or someone’s couch most of the time. He spent his money on alcohol, drugs, but that never stopped from trying to pursue his dream of being an actor. That, I admire, because most of us have so much more than him, and yet we complain about how hard life is and how we can never achieve our dreams. I learnt that everything takes time, its the opportunities, the risks and chances we need to take, be it given or fought for. Screw the cynical people that think that we should only take what is practical, for the sake of being safe, we would never get anywhere. I would not judge him, because he is still young, but what is so fascinating about him is that he has no qualms about what he says, he is not afraid to expose what he has done, and self evaluate his life from time to time. I would say he has developed a very high level of intellect in the way he expresses himself, and he is the kind of person that can get away with murder if he wants to. For a moment in time, I found myself immensely in love with him because of the way he writes. It was a different kind of love, it’s something like the love Andy Warhol had for Edie Sedgewick. I would call him my muse, if there was such a thing. Living in the States and all, there are times where he really did some things in his life that put him away behind bars for awhile. Fights, murders, drug overdosa, crashing cars. I would say, everything you hear here probably would shock the guts of you because we live in a society that does not condone remotely to anything he has done. But who knew how much pain he has went through. Of course, everyone has to live through their adolescent ages, but I believe his frame of mind is something different of that of a normal teen. No normal teenager would be able to express their views so articulately, but not afraid to grab someone by the collar if his feathers were ruffled. I believe if you really want to write, write what you want, Write what you know. Sure, take chances to write about something that push the limits, but don’t go out of your way to manipulate someone so you have a story to write about. That’s something I learnt from a recent show that I just watched. I have no idea where in his point of life this boy is at right now, but I believe and know that one day he would be of someone accomplished. With that, I wish him luck, and I hope that no one of you out there should ever think that you have no gift. I used to think that way, but as mentioned, society and our lifestyle will eventually get you to figure out something you really want to do, Emotions will teach you how to handle your next setback easier. Human nature, is something that has to do with mother nature as well. The world cultivates us. |