I remember Krissie.....

I went to see my friend Krissie last week. She wanted to write a book together, about her life, divided into segments relating to each of her three marriages. The first time she suggested it I said yes and dismissed it. The second time I was intrigued. I thought: Dare I? Dare I actually follow my heart and at least help to write a book? The last time I said yes, carpe diem and all that! Oprah and every self help guru says you should follow your passion so why not give it a try.

As I drove away from her house my mind started a slideshow of images: Krissie as I first met her eleven years ago in her bikini with her toddler on her hip; on our trip together to Disney World with our families; hurt and anguished over her second husband's numerous infidelities; defiantly having her revenge; stars in her eyes after falling in love again.

We had sat and talked and dissected her situations so many times. I tried to advise her about what she should do and she did try to take my advice, tried to make the second marriage work. I have pictures of her from that time, hair and clothes all conservative, trying to do the right thing. Utterly hilarious when you look at them now. But her husband's continuous "night moves" (as I call them) took its toll on her psyche and her spirit. She is not one to simply put up with a situation as so many do. And then the most astounding thing happened. She fell in love, right in front of my eyes. I watched her sit in a McDonald's one day, after spending the day at the beach, and watched the drama unfold right before me. She laughed her huge belly laugh and her eyes had come blindingly alive again. And all I could think in my head is OMG!! as the kids say. The chemisty between her and this man was tangible. I felt like I would get burned if I got too close. So her affair started and all I could do was be a spectator, not letting on for a long while that I knew in my heart what was going on. I couldn't stop her, didn't want to either. The happiness emanating was too sweet, too electric. Truth be told, I was probably jealous. And I refused to judge her as so many eventually did.

I said goodbye to my friend Krissie yesterday. Tears in her eyes telling me she loved me as she drove away. Off to start a new chapter in her life. "I'm scared" she said. I told her she wouldn't be human if she weren't. Pain and love for her welled up in me as I walked away. But more importantly, a tremendous respect and awe for her. She's riding off into the sunset, as I told her, but with so much conviction that this is what she has to do for herself and her family. Her courage is and always has been her most admirable quality.

I remember Krissie........she of the big hair and even bigger laugh, the best confidante a girl could ever have, totally giving even when there was nothing left to give, living life on her terms. How many of us can truly say that we do the same?