Heading Away

"Slow Down. Time is going faster than you think. Slow down and look around. This beauty will eventually fade away. Slow down my son and listen to me. I have spent my life sacrificing for you, try always to do good, and that would be my reward." My father told me this with such sensitivity and pain, after I had put my packages in the car. I know he cannot let go of me, may be the idea of me rather. I know very well that deep inside of him, he will miss me from the first hour I am away. Everything seemed dull and colorless when I turned away to face my mysterious destiny to the unknown. All the trees seemed lifeless and all the flowers waved me goodbye with such vain and hatred. Still, I am questioning myself "could this dream ever be true? is it the right thing to do? Will I be away forever?" I was bothered and scared that I might commit the mistake of my life, however, I am more occupied with how much time left to reach the Airport.



Fifteen hours later, I found myself glancing at the bright sky with skycrapers touching the highest of the skies. Its the land of the free and the forgotten, its the land of the lost identities searching for new lives. Yes, I am one of them, one of those desperate souls grasping for air of change and prosperity.

This is the very reason why I immigrated to the United of States of America.

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Chapter 1 : Worth Street

Each immigrant out there felt this ball of emotions which is burning in me this very moment. I cannot be any smarter or any keener, all I want to do is to go to that Gate 55 and head back where my life was absolutely worthless. But each one of us know how to hope and dream. This is our problem. we dream so much for the better, we actually sacrifice our deepest components, crash our hearts, starve our souls, kill our conscience, follow our ego, and die living for a better outcome at the very end.

" Taxi ... Taxi !! " this is what I mostly hear at this unknown place. I cannot believe how these people are in such a rush, it's seems as if they have a very important deadline to reach. What deadline could that be where we don't live that very minute, we dont acknowledge that certain day, smile to the next day or be proud of that hour? What is this deadline that these people are willing to sacrifice all of these naturalistic bounties for?





As courageous as I can be, I took the popular yellow cab that I had seen in movies back in my homeland and I commanded "To Worth Street please.. "

Yes, this would be my place of residence, as I have heard it's near to New York's Chinatown where the living expenses are lower, Im desperately keen to meet my other immigrants, I know they will be helpful and friendly or am I just hallusinating a Utopian Community?

So, being currently unemployed, alienated, culturally schocked, mesmarised and terrified by the wind of change, I certainly dwell in my memories for comfort and rejuvenation. I know I cant go back there now, I have made it this far to the wanted land of every immigrant. I really cant afford following my heart this time,rather I have to kill it before it kills me.

"Look at how these people walk in the same side line but they barely greet each other, not knowing or caring to know each other..." the taxi man commented, as he figured out that I am an outsider and certainly illeterate of the American culture, he continued on telling me how cautious I have to be, and to trust no one no matter who that is, and of course to keep my mind and my awareness always awake. He kept on emphasizing that people like me are a huge target of dangers from different people of different walks of life. I got more overwhelmed and crossed my fingers that hopefully I will not regret my decision to come to this United States Continent later.

" here we are at Worth street sir, its 75 Dollars, and hey dont tell anyone from where you are originally and always test the waters before you drink, who knows it could have been sand schoking you to death,r ripping your life apart, always remember, your shadow is your best friend and companion, so cherish it before it leads you astray. " The pale and tired Taxi man again reminded me of some potential issues I might encounter. What a cautious man! if all the people of the United of States are thinking like him, then where is the essence of life itself? Where is love and trust reside in this dark alley of worth street? Well, as I always knew, Taxi cabs are expensive but as I have said before, I can't be any smarter, and believe me or not, I came with 300 dollars only.  So should I start testing the waters already?

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But my question to you Ryan is: If you had peaceful dreams of a better life, why did you kill him and instead throw your dreams away? Don't tell me that it was an accident, as my colleagues detected, it was indeed a planned murder. Ryan, listen to me very well, we don't want this to be a long case, it's better to confess, we are all here waiting for you. Now, I want to know how did you meet John McDurry, when and where, and most importantly why. tell us your story Ryan,we are all ears.



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My story does not have a beginning nor an ending, Detective, indeed, its a chaotic life.

All I can remember from my acquintance with John was when I was fired from the Japanese Restaurant 3 years ago. It all started when:

" One Teriyaki and a cola please" there he demanded, " Chicken Teriyaki or Beef Teriyaki?" and there I emphasized. " The vegetarian One, I prefer " There the costumer argued. "But Sir, it's either vegetarian or non- vegetarian"

" But I want a vegetarian Teriyaki with chicken, whether you like it or not !" while I can't believe this madness I said, " But sir, there is no such thing!"

I can't believe I reached this level of discussion, however , he made it worse when he said, "Now, you think I'm wrong? who are you to post such opinion? quick... bring me what I want !"  I really couldn't control my anger anymore, this was too much to bare, and I really wanted to end it, but I was meant to be more patient that is why I made an end to it by " ...But as they say: Costumers are always right!"

This was two years ago, when I immigrated to the US with a master degree of anthropology. I never dreamt of becoming a waiter in a Japanese Restaurant. In fact, I never saw myself in this kind of situation. This was because I dreal for the best..and only the best?

Do I think I was Happy? Absolutely not! although I do enjoy the leftovers of the Japanese Dishes like Teriyaki bowl, tofu and etc..

But that didn't make me proud of my job. Because all I wanted is to be great,and is it a crime to dream?

150 American Dollars was a sum that I thought is enough for the first weeks in New York. I planned for a long time indeed, that when I arrive to the US, I must search for a modest job to support myself. 150 was pretty huge in my country, actually it is a sufficient salary for a middle-class worker.

I wasn't able to ask my father for a sum, as he rejected my decision from the beginning. For this reason, I have to prove myself that this decision of mine will help them live in a better condition... hopefully.



While I was thinking of how I will be now back home with my friends and family,

"Oops!... I am so sorry sir! I really didn't mean to spill the drink on your shirt ! " I couldn't believe this ! I scattered my life by my own hands! I brought the end to myself.

The costumer looked at me with such rage and disappointement then he said, "aaaaccchhh... You stupid waiter! didn't your parents teach you how to hold a container?! ... Manager ? Manager ! come here NOW ! "

Yes, the end is coming faster than I thought, and while I'm in the middle of embarassement, the great, tall,  fair-colored manager approached us. As near as he could be, he told me loudly " What have you done ? What were you thinking? Go..go .."

There I went, and there I never came back.

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