A work in progress. PLEASE COMMENT/MAKE SUGGESTIONS! |
Livi comes to me at night, every night without fail. She climbs into bed with me, snuggling her ice cold body against mine. The perfect blond of her hair lay smooth against my cheek like pale silk. Her porcelain skin is like a perfect sculpture, smooth and beautiful (a china doll). “Jonathan…?” she whispered. “Livi,” I mumbled. I felt her smile against my bare chest. Her fingers play a soft melody over my skin as they would a piano. She hums to the beat of her fingers. The rhythm belongs to a song she wrote last year, a tribute to our first kiss/how it made her feel. It’s a pleasant lullaby that she sings me to sleep with every night. I let out a yawn, desperate to stay awake. If I fall asleep I have to wait until tomorrow night to see her again. And every time I have to wait, it seems like it takes an eternity. I force my heavy eyelids open in a pathetic attempt to escape sleep as another yawn escapes my lips. “Liv,” I say, mid-yawn as I grasp her hand in mine to cease the drumming. She lifts her head up, turning towards me, giving way to silence. “Jonny…” she trails softly in protest. I shake my head stubbornly. “I don’t wanna sleep yet, just a little longer,” I say to her. She reluctantly lays her head back down on my breast, snuggling up against me. Unable to keep her fingers still, she begins tracing invisible circles from my chest to my stomach. I kiss her hair, a smile on my lips. I draw in a deep breath, retrieving a scent of roses mixed with graveyard soil. It’s a depressing smell; it reminds me that she’s dead. (Of her death… the accident) With the reminder, a tear slips down my cheek. A small sob escapes my throat before I can swallow it. Livi turns her face up to look at me. “Jonny…” she begins, an expression of sorrow on her delicate face. I hug her to me as tight as I can. She lets me hold her, not whispering a word. Overflowing with agony, the tears burst forth as water from a dam. The sheer strength of my cries draws broken whimpers from between my lips. I hate letting Livi go, falling asleep with her in my arms and waking up to her gone. Cold or warm, she’s still my Livi. My one and only love, I can’t bear her absence during the day. If it were up to me, I’d stop time just like this with her in my arms. I wouldn’t want it any other way. The light that once brought me such incredible joy now only causes me the greatest pain and suffering. “Jonny…” Livi tries again after I cry every last tear I own. Taking my silence as an answer, she continues. “I can’t stand to see you so upset. Perhaps, it’s time for me to leave--” “NO!” I jump up at the mention of her leaving. The chains that bind my heart to beating, reply with a sharp painful tug. It doesn’t know if it can survive her leaving it again. Its greatest fear is her leaving it cold and alone. It knows if she does leave, it will stop beating, loving. It won’t be able to bear the heartbreak. “No, no, no,” I almost shout at her, my voice thick with tears, “You can’t! You can’t leave me!” It comes out like begging. And maybe that’s exactly what it is, me pleading for her to stay. I hold her by the arms in a vice like grip. I can’t let her leave, I just can’t. “Jonny,” she says, squirming in my arms, “You’re hurting me.” I release her instantly, not wanting to harm her. Seeing my panic, she shushes me, running her long fingers through my golden locks. I relax a little, letting some of the tension in my shoulders dissipate. Touching cold fingers to my face, she feels along my jaw line. Her beautiful brow wrinkles in concern. I take in a shaky, unsteady breath as her thumb glides gently over my lips. Eyes closed, I trap her hand, kissing it. “Don’t leave me, Liv,” I choke, eyes watering. “Okay,” she speaks softly. A tremble runs through my body. A fear. I know she feels it. Taking my face between her elegant hands, she kisses me ever so carefully. I slip a hand behind her neck as she tries to pull away. Trapping her inches away, I pull her back. I press my lips to hers. My desperation to be with her is taking over. My hand feels down her spine, stopping at the small of her back. It compels her closer. I sweep her platinum hair from the nape of her neck, leaving it bare, vulnerable. Alone, I savor the bitter taste of ash where her lips had intermingled with mine. The echo of her voice chimes inside of my skull like a pleasant memory, fading. ---------------------------------------------------♥------------------------------------------------------ (End Version 1, Start Version 2) As night once again falls in all its magnificence, I sit in bed, waiting for 8 o’clock. I reach over, turning out the only light in my room, a small desk lamp. Taking one last glance out of the window, I see a zillion stars studding the sky like diamonds on a deep violet blanket. I close the blinds, twisting the plastic rod tight. I turn around in my bed, watching the second hand on my wrist watch that sits on the end table. The last few seconds tick by slower than ever. My fingers clench into the soft fabric of the sheets/bedspread in anticipation. I hate waiting. Though it takes up most of my time now, it still annoys me. I twiddle my thumbs, too antsy to hold still. I’ve been patient for over eight hours. I don’t know how much longer I’ll able to wait before going insane. The alarm clock reads 8:05 in its electric blue numbers. She was five minutes late… Just as I was about to get out of bed and start pacing the floor, a hand came down on my shoulder. I turned, embracing the beautiful blonde angel behind me. Her body feels colder than ice against my bare chest, even through her dress, as I hold her. I feel her fingers smooth through my golden locks as I nestle into the line of her long neck. A small Mmm of contentment from her as my nuzzling turns to kissing. “Jonathan,” her voice comes out slightly breathy. I trace along her jaw line, down her throat, and along her collarbone with the barest of touches. My hands rest on her slender hips, only thin white silk separating her too cool skin from mine. I slip the strap of her gown off her shoulder in one fluid motion. I place a final kiss on her shoulder before pulling back. She takes in a brief breath to gather her senses. When she opens her eyes, I become lost in the drowning blue pools. She leans in, a grin on her gorgeous full lips, touching her nose to mine. She wiggles it, making a face at me. One of the cute things she’s always done that tickle me just the right way. I chuckle as she giggles, teasing me. I give her the best of my devious smiles. She tries to pull away, but too slow. I pull her back, pressing her body to mine as I kiss her passionately. I get the harsh taste of ash as my tongue slips past her lips. As we continue to kiss, that taste … |