Daddy Issues

Dad. Daddy. Father. Pop.

I am as unsure about what to call you as I am unsure that I would recognize you today if we were suddenly face to face.

When, as a child, I would stare into the mirror and wonder how you looked, did you look into the same mirror and remember that this little boy, flesh of your flesh, bone of your bone, possibly needed the guidance that only you could provide?

When I disobeyed my Mother & cut my leg on my bike because I wasn't supposed to be outside, did you dismiss that pain in your left leg as just you getting older?

When I experienced my first love, first heartache, and first sexual encounter, did you wonder if I had all the tools needed to help me to make choices I would be able to live with the rest of my life?

When I met my brother for the first time when he was 19 and realized that not only had you had another child after I was born but you raised him into adulthood, did you ever consider how that made me feel?

When I told you I was gay did that make you pull away further or did you blame your absence in my life for it?

Dad. Daddy. Father. Pop.

I am as unsure about what to call you as I am unsure that I'd recognize you if we were suddenly face to face........

But

I Forgive You