It's better to burn out

I sit in my own company with feelings that leave me dizzy and breathless without the whole "I love you" "I love you too" nightcaps.
I speak words that come out as gibberish and by tomorrow I'll forget this feeling.
They say that diamonds are a girls best friend, well baby will you be my diamond?
Frozen fingertips let me know winter is blowing hard but I don't mind;
As long as I have you my cancer friends.
The smoke of my cigarette dances with the wind.
I wish I was like you.
I dream to be like you! So free and ever giving!
You love the feeling of being kissed by a foreign mouth every time, you embrace it!
Then you happily die out within a couple minutes,
No goodbyes or sad thoughts.
You known your place, Your purpose in life.
Here I am vulnerable, It sucks to be human
And then I smile.
You give me that boast I need, like a heroin addict you are my hero.
See you again in a few hours my love