The Ultimate Punishment

The walls are closing in on me, and it’s getting harder to breathe. The darkness has long captured my soul; I am only awaiting it’s punishment for what I did those many, many years ago.
I am sitting on the cold, damp prison floors, head on my knees. The memories of that innocent little girl bring tears to my eyes.
I didn’t mean to do anything! I thought I could save her, but I couldn’t. There just wasn’t enough time, damn it! They can’t understand it. They don’t see the pain I go through whenever I think of her bright, shining blue eyes slowly growing dull with every last breath she took.
I truly loved that little girl, loved her like she was my own child. I was there the day she was born, I went to every single birthday party in her way-too-short life, every Christmas concert, soccer game…
I am sobbing now, and the guilt racks away at my heart. What could she have accomplished by now? Maybe she would have had her own children by now. She would be 25.
Would she be a soccer player like she wanted? Would she be a musician? Or a stay-at-home mom like her own mother?
I was babysitting that night. I was fixing her dinner, watching her play outside. She was chasing after a ball that had gone out of her way.
“Be careful, Jenny!” I yelled out of the open window.
“Don’t worry, Uncle Charlie! I’ll be fine!” She giggled, shaking her head so that her brown pigtails would shake, as if the thought of something happening was ridiculous.
All the same, I watched the bright pink T-shirt running.
And then the most hideous sight I’ve ever seen took place right in front of my eyes.
A white van stopped, and a guy got out. He took Jenny, who was trying to get away, and shoved her into the van, then took off.
That was it. I ran out of the house, forgetting to turn off the stove.
“Hey!” I yelled.
By that time, the van was growing out of distance.
Frantically, I ran to my car that was parked on the street, and sped off. Luckily, there were no cars out this time of night.
Anger seethed through me like a vicious snake, taking control of my actions.
I pushed the pedal down as hard as it would go.
“You can’t take my fucking little girl!” I yelled angrily. “Get back here!”
Finally, I could see the white van, parked in the woods.
I drove the distance, and left my car a couple feet away, hidden behind some trees.
Jenny screamed.
Adrenaline took over. I ran to her, and a vicious sight met my eyes.
My beautiful, way-too-smart-for-her-own-good, goddaughter was laying there, blood seeping through her chest. Bruises were starting to form on her naked body, and cuts were everywhere.
“Jenny!” I yelled, running into the clearing. There was no sight of the white van.
“Uncle Charlie,” She whispered. “Tell my mommy and daddy I love them. I love you too”
Her words were growing so I could barely hear them, but I understood. I cradled her in my lap as the light left her eyes.
I sobbed with everything I had. I felt as if my heart was ripping through my chest.
“Jenny ,” I cried, holding her to my heart. “I didn’t mean for this to happen! I should have kept a better eye on you,” I sobbed. “It’s all my fault!” I yelled to the heavens.
Several officers ran into the clearing. “Hands up!” One of them yelled. I did as he asked.
It was my fault. All my fault. I should have done everything I could to protect her.
If only I had gone after that ball myself. If only I had been able to catch up to the white van, she’d still be alive.
“We’ve got the missing girl, taking her to the coroners office.”
Hearing those words brought a new wave of pain. Next thing I knew, I was being pushed into a cop car, sliding on the hard, plastic seats.
My memories fade after that. I could see a burning house, left that way because of my foolish action to not turn off the stove as I took after the murderer, I could see Dave, the strongest man I had ever seen, collapse to the ground and bawl like a baby over the loss of his beloved daughter.
The last thing I see is a sight that brings shivers down my spine.
They say there is nothing stronger than a mothers love.
It’s true.
The pure, agonizing hell she was going through was evident in her eyes as she glared at me with anger I could never muster. To this day, I can still see her crumble to the ground as she heard the fate of her only child.
I am brought harshly back to the present as the guard jabs me.
“It’s time.”
I nod and get up weakly. He leads me to the chair, binds the leather straps on my wrists and ankles so I can’t get away.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper. “I’m sorry Jenny.”
He puts the needle through my skin, and the poison runs through my veins.
The last thought I ever think is the sight of Lucy’s anguish and Jenny’s eyes slowly growing dull.