The Russian Acipenser

(word count: approx 677 words)

When things got bad, Dusia Tichonovna thought about inviting a minister to purify the house. Some problems in both of her son’s marriages came up, and the hate between the two got so strong that enemies weren’t needed. The misery didn’t escape from her as well; the old woman got diagnosed with diabetes.
A few days ago her son got back from Chernamorks, a small fisherman’s town. He has brought his livelihood with him, a few jars of black caviar, and kinds of giant Acipenseridae fish, blessed with meat. All of his plunder was sold in his beach stand, accept from the Russian Acipenser, which was the biggest fish. The sea creature was two meters long and weighed almost ninety kilograms. After the work day was over, four men gathered for the mission of carrying. “One, two, three...” they cried, on three their breath got cut until they stabled the giant fish in their hands. In a truck they drove to Dusia’s house – and to her problems, was added the smell which spinned around the house and according to her, walked the streets up to the corner.

A young minister walked through the iron gate, with a wooden case in his hand. Dusia, who was looking through the window, went outside to congratulate him and warned him before he went inside, “I’m really sorry about the smell, you see, my son sells fish and his most excellent one for some reason wasn’t sold”. The minister nodded in agreement and continued his way towards the entrance. He was wearing a red robe with a train so long it sweeps up the floor with every step. The collar of the rope and it’s sleeves were adorned with gold embroidery and the minister’s neck was carrying a big silver cross, which was probably the reason for his slight hunch.
The minister placed his case on a wooden table next to to the door and started to take out his tools, a glass holly water bottle and a small brush. He began dipping the brush in the holly water and drawing crosses on the walls, while mumbling prayers and blessings. After that, he spilled water on his hands and sprayed them to every corner. For the end of the ritual, he took off the cross from his neck and passed it above the fourniters. When he got to the kitchen his facial expression became curious and his nose was bouncing up, trying to follow the smell. When he got close to the smell source, he saw a towel, covering something big. He passed the cross above it and lifted the towel. Seeing the fish put a self smile on his face and he passed the blessing once again.
When the minister put the cross back to his neck and finished the work of purification he turned to Dusia Tichonovna and her son- who were watching his actions from the beginning – and asked while pointing at the fish “is this for sale?” – the two looked at each other with confusion, “yes”, answered the son. The minister smiled and turned to the table where his case was. While putting his tools back to their place the minister said “I’ll be back today soon, I need to consult my mom about the amount of fish we need” and went out the door, the rope’s train behind him.

Dusia and her son were sitting outside, next to the cherry tree, waiting for the minister’s return. The sound of a squeal was made. A tall, grey, clumsy vehicle appeared from the left side of the road which honked twice before it parked. With a jump, came out a man dressed with ripped old jeans and a black t-shirt, a big ax was in his hands. They were frightened by the ax cause they thought the the older brother came home angry like in previous times. The two lifted themselves immediately and started to run for their lives. “Why are you guys running?” asked the man with the ax. They turned around slowly, Dusia rubbed her eyes and after realizing they are not lying asked “minister?”
“Hello my friends, now lead the way to the fish, I can already hear it calling for me”.
The minister entered the kitchen and removed the towel from the fish, the same one that got purified by him moments ago. He lifted his ax and with the half of a second stuck it into the Russian Acipenser. He repeated the action a couple of times until he shaped a quite respectful piece for himself. Dirty with fish, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and after paying, went out of the house, with a piece of fish in his hands.
Dusia looked at her son and said “you’ll never know what to expect from a human being”.

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