A Few Complaints

A FEW COMPLAINTS



I can’t write



I can’t think



I can’t concentrate,

         I can’t get free



I can’t relax



I can’t let go



I can’t compose

         I can’t reach desire



Gems, hiding inside of slippery, glass marbles



Gems with refracting, radiant light

         Catching my eye - my wanting eye



Slip and spin away with each grasp



They graze along the span of my reaching hand



They spit out in the opposite direction

         Away from me, always out of reach



I lean forward on my haunches



I press out to them



But nothing



Blank, dark sky and empty sound in the wind



Frozen landscape at two am



Even the light freezes still in space



And I am grey and dry

         Alone without the fire



I can’t sing



I can’t emote



I can’t decide

         So I decide to do nothing



Jealousy erodes my self confidence

         As I see others create worlds alive



And my daisy stem wilts within my grasp

         Bends over to the earth

And closes it’s eyes in acquiescence to corruption



In my loss, I lie still



I lie still and wait



The darkness is thick



The hum of the refrigerator communicates to me



It says,

         “Youuuuuuuuuuuuu will never make iiiiiiiiit”



I can feel



I can worry



I can describe the nothing that I am



I can stare at vain images



I can wait impatiently for this to change



I can and I can’t



And I won’t anymore



2009 Sam Friedman