Thoughts

I wonder where the sun goes when it dies
if the bright spears of red and light are the afterbirth of a brilliant dawn on the other side of this world
then the roots of this dandelion must spiral and flourish into a daffodil somewhere
then maybe over there I can hold the crystalline husk of my dried up tears to my ear and hear laughter
like that morning after
when you spent all night on your back smiling
looking at stars looking at you like you're the gods they build their temples to
and most times we're not worthy
my tongue is scarred from every time i bit it to hold back the i love yous
my skin has thickened to the point of asphyxia
and all i want is to shed it
cash in my jaded credit
and then nail my feet to this soapbox
and show off my goddamn stigmata
while yelling that intimacy isn't just phalus and orfice. insert.
most times its just that beer you kept buying when we found ourselves bent over the same wheelbarrow
until we're both on our backs
praying to the stars
and i lean over and whisper
before i die i'm gonna walk naked into the wilderness
and while my breasts stare down my head will be up
towards that dizzying bright blue sky
then i'll look my enemies in the eye
my bitter sweet enemies in the eye
with a smile
and say blow me
and then explode like an ironic catastrophe
like a dandelion on a hot summer's day
and let the cool mellow breeze sweep me away
but don't cry
because that will be when I truly start to live
every seed will be a hearfelt crescendo of light, love and laughter
fallen angels of forget me nots
because maybe this life's miseries are just the afterbirth of something beautiful
I hope