This is about my fear of death and a dream I had awile back |
I have tried to hide the pieces I want to keep secret They hang there vile ugly discusting Wanting and waiting to reveal me And not the me I want them to see The one they dont know that lurks Those pieces are just flashes of what makes up me Where I have been and who I have become And that is what the begining of this fear tastes like Sour and rough What if they find out Im faking Behind every smile a lie Behind every right a wrong To scary to dare give it utterance What if they can see the face that glows in the dark Like a million shooting stars They wont understand They cant They wont try I can feel the fear swelling in me now It rises in my chest and brings with it a wave of panic And realize what this is It's the crack of this truth wideing growing beyond my control Sucking me in by the ankles it's all around me engulfing me It wont stop until it has drained me completely Every last drop of me It has its icy fingers around my neck Until I stare into the blackness that it wants me too see And It begins to devoure I can feel it eating holes in my armor The villians heart exposed at last And it digs in I pick and I pull but to no avail It sticks fast and sends in its magic I hold on to my fear and for now it keeps me alive Those flames of fear have kept me alive so long Im afraid to let go I am dangling over the abyss now Without a sound it starts ripping me apart Im falling in endless space and before I hit the bottom Im just tatterd shreds of a person Nothing Stillness Now there are only sections of me some here there Im not connected anymore The Darkness has won Its inside and its taking control of me Im in that place now that no one talks about The Blackest of Black I can feel the darkness swimming in my head and my soul The cold oily blackness snakes its way back and forth Across my mind and across my heart And thats when I let go of my fear and let it take me The fight is gone from me My feelings are now a block of Ice Colors blur from gun metal gray to black All the vividness in life is gone Everything moves with a silent stillness I have become hollow in every way I can now walk with the dead |