My Sanity

The road ahead curved left and right then left again, but his old streetcar eased around them. The shocks absorbed the rocky road and the wheels almost turned themselves, leaving Adam relaxed behind the wheel casually laying his arm on top. In a blur, the Las Vegas outskirts blended into a single shade of sandy brown, occasionally passing a yucca plant or cactus. Adam adjusted his leather jacket and laid his right arm across the back of the passenger seat. There, Tracy leaned into his embrace, looking steadily at the road in front of them. Under the engine's quiet purr, Adam smiled for the first time since he had been home.

"She's still running as good as when I left her."

"Well I had little Bobby give it a nice cleaning before your plane landed."

"You let him around the car?" Tim asked, slowly caressing the wheel around the next curve.

"He wanted to, honey, he has changed a lot since you left. Bobby won't stop asking about you and he plays around the house like he's you. I told him if he cleaned the inside of the car that daddy would be real proud of him." Tracy glanced over at Adam with uncertainty of his answer, but his smile never broke. " You don't mind do you?"
"Oh no, he did a good job. Hows he doing in school? Keeping his grades up?"
"We can talk about this when we get home baby, lets just enjoy our little ride ok? I'm so glad your home." Tracy reached behind her and pulled Adams arm around her shoulders. Adam pulled her in. Tracy closed her eyes and melted.

"Your right, baby, but its hard to stop and slow down. We have ten days before I deploy again." Adam pulled away his arm that wrapped around Tracy and ran his fingers through his short buzz cut-style hair, relieving his stressful thoughts about going back. "I just want to make sure he is where he needs to be, thats all."

"He is Adam, don't worry about that ok? I've taken care of everything."

"Don't say that Trace. I know you mean the best, and I thank God every day that your here to take care of Bobby and the house, but what is the damage, huh? How far in the hole are we? How are you two going to live for six more months until I get discharged?"

"I'm picking up another job at Luke's Diner down on Broadway, he said that Bobby can come and stay with me after school while I work. That'll bring in enough for rent and some of the appliances. Its only another six months honey, we will make it."

"Tracy, I'm going to sell the car."

"What?"

"We need the money, I figure that with all the refurbished parts, we can get a nice profit out of it. You can buy yourself a car that gets good mileage and then you won't have to ride that bus. You know I hate that. I'm selling this car, baby."

Tracy sat up and turned to look at Adam, but he wasn't smiling this time. Adam caught her glance and they shared a moment, staring into each others eyes. The moment lasted until Tracy looked away and shook her head.

"I'm not going to let you do that Adam. Don't you remember anything? This car has so many memories. I've spent half my life in this car with you, just riding around. It never mattered where we went, but just as long as we were together."

"Baby..."

"No, Adam, this car means as much to me as it does to you. To us. This is all that we have left to share together. Everything in the house, I bought while you were overseas. This is the only thing I have left that reminds me of you. One time, I drove it down the strip, just like when we were younger. I imagined you next to me, laughing and talking about whatever we saw. I know that its your car, but you know, its my car too! I need this car like I need you Adam. Your not selling this car."

Adam squinted his eyes but never looked away from the road. His bottom lip was trembling, but he couldn't shake his nerves. He soaked in a long deep breath and exhaled through his nose before letting his heart speak.

"I love you Tracy. When I'm over in my barracks, holding that phone to my ear and hear your voice hesitate when you try and tell me that everything is ok, I blame myself. I thought that this country needed a hero, so I left you and Bobby to become one. Now, I know that I already was a hero to Bobby. But I can't just leave the Marines. It takes more than that. When I lay on my bed in the evenings, I think about all the good times we had in this car. But then reality comes back, and I think that when we come back, we can start over. Sell this car, and get a new one. A car that all three of us can make memories in and share. Lets start over Tracy. Its the only way to keep my sanity."

Tracy took in his words and noticed the road that led back to their house was coming around the next curve. In the side mirror, she saw a blank open canvas of desert.
"Ok," She said, speaking softly, nervous. " But lets not let this moment end. Lets make one last memory, Adam. Together."

Adam's smile returned to his face and within a few seconds, they were turning around with the sun setting before them. Adam looked through the windshield at the old desert road. They smiled and laughed, looking steadily at the road in front of them.





Word Count: 819